To the flies…


Earworm alert: Do not, under any circumstances, sing this to the tune of ‘Food, glorious food’ from Oliver…. Apologies to Lionel Bart…




Flies, ‘orrible, flies,
So bloody persistent!
Flies, god-awful flies…
Fly –killer resistant.
Don’t know where they’re coming from…
Must be the manure
Out there in the farmer’s field
Smells worse than a sewer…

Flies, buzzy black flies…
Keep trying to swat ‘em.
Flies, ruddy great flies
Missed more than I got ‘em.
Landing on my hands and hair
In rapid succession…
Dog’s chasing them everywhere
With mounting aggression….

Flies, terrible flies…
Irksome little bastards
Flies, pestilent flies…
Annoyance well mastered…
Why round my computer screen
Must I needs have ten?
Flies, ‘orrible flies, bothersome flies…
Squirt ‘em again….

fly (1)

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email:
This entry was posted in Humour, Photography, Poetry, Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

58 Responses to To the flies…

  1. ontheland says:

    That was creative. I sang the song–sorry you missed it LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I find there is one species of pest that I detest more than the rest:
    Mosquitos. The little bloodsuckers are ferocious, insatiable, and sneaky little blighters. (That’s the proper Brit word, right? Blighters? 🙂 ) Most flies don’t bite, just land on disgusting stuff before coming to visit. Most female mosquitos do.


  3. Poor little devils


  4. noelleg44 says:

    oh yes, flies bite – the notorious black flies of Maine are nasty! Like small hummingbirds! We have large biting black flies here along with the mosquitoes. Ugh. And I am singing Food, Glorious Food in my head now!


  5. I’m sorry, but I just could not help myself, Sue.

    Great poem. I think I’d rather the flies than the ruddy wasps.


  6. Your earworm warning came too late, Sue. You’ll be getting a bill from my shrink any moment now. 😉

    Love your ode to miserable flies. Depending on the setting, the little buggers – black flies, love bugs, mosquitoes, etc. – seem to seek me out and annoy me.


  7. Marcia says:

    Ha! I loved this!! Be glad they weren’t deer flies/yellow flies. Those are even worse. Minions of Satan, I call ’em, and silent as a stealth bomber. Your first warning is a stabbing, burning pain, followed by the warmth of blood trickling down your (fill in body part here). GAH. Thankfully, deer fly season only lasts about 6 weeks here, then they’re gone. Until next year. 😦 Great poem/song. You are so very good at them!


  8. Love this poem – I’m totally with you on the flies. They come in the minute I open a door or window, as if they’ve been waiting for it, and in spite of their multifarious eyes they can never find the way out again. They buzz around me relentlessly while I’m working, then vanish as soon as I produce the swat – I’ve wasted many a summer afternoon playing fly tennis, missing every stroke. And don’t even get me started on mosquitoes! I wouldn’t begrudge them a drop of blood, but why do they have to repay me with poison? Nature is beautiful, but she can be a real bitch at times! 😦


    • Sue Vincent says:

      I am absolutely with you on the mozzies, Annabelle… they want dinner? Fine… Yorkshire folk are reknowned for hospitality. But the great swollen lumps they leave behind is no way to tip the chef 😉


  9. TanGental says:

    More Bart Simpson than Lionel Bart but no worse for that…

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Ha ha. They are pests when they get so persistent! Now I’m convinced that anything can spark your imagination, Sue. 🙂


  11. barbtaub says:

    Noooooo! How could you do this to me Sue? [humming Oliver show tunes…]


  12. Yep..if the tune fits !! We hardly ever see the common housefly any more…I’m not complaining. ☺


  13. HaHaHA! Hilarious, and it went perfectly to the tune too. 🙂


  14. Now you’ve done it! Ear worms! I constantly get ear worms but mine tend to be advert tunes (like that blummin’ Cillit bang man! ) Now the flies are buzzing cheerfully…where’s that swatter!!


  15. Excellent poem but more importantly…where can I get me some of those earphones?


  16. Eliza Waters says:

    Do you use those sticky tapes? I remember as a child living with a farm on each side of us and those tapes were always covered! Mom would hand us the flyswatter to practice hand-eye coordination- lol!


  17. jenanita01 says:

    I was just about to say that you need some of that sticky tape, but I see Eliza beat me to it!


  18. That soumds terrible. We used to have horse flies in the country that came to our swimming dock. They waited until you were wet, then struck. I hate any insect that bites. 😦 Good poem. 🙂


  19. denis1950 says:

    Great poem/lyrics Sue. Australia is the land of the flies. In summer people get covered with little bushflies, they get up nostrils, in ears down the throat and everywhere else. And as for our blowflies, hordes of them can pick up a dead kangaroo from the road side and carry the body metres. And our horse flies are as big as a small bird, they zero in on bushwalkers and sound like an approaching Stuka and they bite.


  20. Pingback: Episode 437. Free-For-All Friday #22 | Edwina's Episodes

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