My son’s pond is a constant source of delight. There is something tranquil in the still, reflective surface and the sound of water running through the stream and falling from the little cascade. After three years the ecosystem is well established and the fish thriving. The tiny fish he bought are now substantial… the sturgeon are veritable monsters of the deep some three feet long and the multi-coloured markings of the shubunkins and koi look like petals swimming below.
There is a real variety of fish, with ghost koi, mirror, grass and crucian carp and barbels, and all seem to swim as and where they choose, seeking their own preferred level and corner. Most are ‘just’ fish. Some few have a discernable character, like Simon, the bubble blower, or the happy fish that speeds around the pond like a lightning flash.
The orfe like to swim together in a synchronous shoal much of the time. They are not the easiest fish to identify, being all of a similar size, shape and colour. Apart, that is, from Bent Tail. Of all the orfe, his… hers?… is the one discernable character.
Now, we are not entirely sure about Bent Tail Fish… was it damage from the hopeful heron, or is it a medical problem? Either way, the kink in the tail does not stop him from being active and he has been otherwise healthy for the three years we have known him.
It is odd, because when you really look at the orfe, every single one of them has distinguishing features… a pale fin, a spotted back…a different shade. No doubt at all that they can tell each other apart! But it isn’t until you actually pay attention that you begin to notice all the subtle differnces. Bent Tail Fish, on the other hand, stands out from the crowd as immediately recognisable… and as soon as something stands out, you begin to pay attention without even trying.
As soon as he was noticed, we began to get to know him. Or her. We got to know his preferences… a passion for breadcrumbs, for example. And the attention forges a relationship… makes it personal and memorable. Then you realise that you have been missing so much… and begin to pay attention to the others too. You notice the minute differences in markings… and habits… behaviour…you recognise them and with your recognition seems to come an answering closeness with them. You care about them. Not just as ‘fish’, but as individual beings.
Which is pretty much the same with people. You remember those who, for one reason or another, catch your attention. You are either drawn to them or shy away, but they leave their mark on your memory, heart or consciousness… a relationship is formed. From the better ones grow friendship, caring and love.
A lot of the time, though, we don’t pay enough attention to individuals. Not really. Apart from that close circle around us… wide for some, narrow for others… we have a natural tendency to lump people together in groups… like a shoal of indistinguishable orfe. While we, ourselves, want to be percieved as individuals and recognised for who we are, we still see whole swathes of humanity in divided sets. We talk of the people in the office, the cashiers at the supermarket, the homeless on the streets or the mums at the school gate… Or wider groups; nationalities, religions, colours or sexual preferences. We don’t see the details… only the boxes we have put them in within our consciousness, accepting or shunning based on the conditioning of our own social and cultural background and our own judgement… quite possibly of an individual! And that’s where passion can come in… but dismissal, distrust or prejudice can come in too.
How often so we hear, “Oh I don’t like *insert group of choice*… but I work with *Fred*… he is alright.” Yet, if we got to know Fred’s family, extended family and friends… people like Fred… we would see them all as individuals… and maybe the wider group would look a lot different too.
It is, after all, our differences that make us stand out from the crowd, making each and every one of us unique. Individual. And that is a word worth thinking about… individual… undividable? Doesn’t that imply a connection between each and every one of us?
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
FISH….BEING COY? (KOI)
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Oh dear… that’s worse than some of mine, Jonathan! 🙂
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Fantastic pictures Sue. The fish all look well.
xxx Massive Hugs xxx
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They seem to be 🙂 Thanks, David xxx
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What a gorgeous post! The world–and one bent tail fish–as our teachers.
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They’re not a bad selection 🙂
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Great post, Sue!
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Thanks, Richard.
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Have a passion for ponds. Loved this post, Sue.
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I’ve always had one when I could. I love the water in the garden, and as the birds do too, bringing their familied to bathe in the stream and the little waterfall, it is just perfect 🙂
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Lovely pictures, Sue. Reminded me of my last goldfish (Sylvia) who was with me for 16 years. I was heartbroken when she decided to say goodbye.
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It seems odd, but you really do feel you get to know them, don’t you?
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Absolutely. I talked to her everyday and I’m sure she knew it was me when ever I came into the room as she would swim up to the top of the bowl as if to say “hello”.
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There are a few in the pond who know too.. one particular koi.. other than Simon… who won’t let me walk past without acknowldgement and feeding (again).. the one with his mouth out of the water on a lot of the recent pics 🙂
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Thanks for the pictures and for the reflection. People always seem to feel suspicious of what is different, until, as you point out, we come to appreciate these differences…
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Fear is such an insidious thing, isn’t it? And so often goes unrecognised.
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Beautiful post, Sue… I think I need a pond too…
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Even the smallest pond sets up a who new dimension in a garden 🙂
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Reblogged this on oshriradhekrishnabole.
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..is that the shadowy reflection of a pussycat in the final photo?? :):)
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More likely to be a photographer 🙂
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This kind of human lumping together really annoys me as it’s judgmental and really lazy! The amount of times people have just assumed I’m a lesbian because I’m constantly in trainers, jeans, tees and hoodies and I’m more indie/alt than girly, is ridiculous and did I mention lazy and judgmental? ;o) Me and the bloke noticed a collard dove (we feed them) that has remained really skinny, is quite hyperactive and doesn’t seem to judge distance very well. That distinction has helped us realise he’s really friendly, trusting and very inquisitive. It would never have occurred to us to notice before. Maybe this human is being rather hypocritical ;oD
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My son, being disabled, drew a similar comparison. His disabilities make him noticeable in our faceless world and that can feel like a bad thing, as many people simply avoid eye contact and look the other way. But the upside of that is that those who meet him and get to talk to him and know him… they don’t forget him.He is instantly recogniseable. And some have preconceptions about the disabled and their capacities… meeting Nick may well mean those same people look differently on others afterwards… just because someone ‘stood out’. 🙂
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Fantastic point of view to have!
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He’s sort of like that, Chrissie 🙂
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They look beautiful..cute fish…
lLoved the subtle punning in the title… 🙂
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They are lovely, especially when they catch the sunlight.
Thank you 🙂
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Nice post tied up at the end with a piece of personal philosophy – loved the fish. They are very soothing – I would love to have a fish tank if it weren’t so much work!
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Ani justs sits and watches fish. She’s fasciated by them. Mind, so do I 🙂
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I listened to Desert Island Discs this morning and Jimmy Wales was on. Inevitably he was asked about the Internet and its effects and one of the points he made was that so many more people were connecting that those faceless groups would gradually start to disappear (I’m paraphrasing here). But I couldn’t help reflecting on the times when I’ve heard people refer to a particular group (“Muslims” seems to be pretty popular at the moment, along with “immigrants”) in disparaging terms without having any appreciation that the tag represents one facet of an individual. By connecting with people online and getting to know them as people instead of labels, we are in a better position to become less judgmental. It was a perspective that hadn’t occurred to me, but it chimes nicely with your post here.
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This is true. I only have to look at my inbox to see the diversity of people I know, often meeting them online too. It is a sad fact that the internet is also an arena for spreading hate and misunderstanding, though I think the positives outweigh and outnumber the negatives here.
Yet, I have just driven home from delivering ice-cream to my son ( long story and he owes me big time 🙂 ) and passing a playground saw two distinct groups, even today… all born within a mile or two of each other, I imagine, yet still groupning themselves into white and Asian. I found that hard to see.
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