So we ended the evening soaking wet… and by we, I mean the dog, the bathroom and me. It had to be done, but of course, you’ll have gathered by now that Ani doesn’t like the bath. Not one little bit.

She jumps up all excited to come upstairs with me. Happily runs up and down the stairs playing fetch with me while the bath runs. She’s even worked out that if I am otherwise occupied she can play fetch with herself by dropping the ball carefully and bounding down the stairs to meet it at the bottom. This, in her eyes, is all fine and dandy.

Until I call her into the bathroom.

The ball is dropped on the threshold and she reverses and lies down expectantly but suspicious. I pick up the ball and throw it. She retrieves… as far as the threshold. I try again. No closer. Bring ball into bathroom… the look she throws me over her shoulder on her way downstairs manages to be both full of mockery and entirely impolite.

I try a different tactic. Bribery.

Favourite treat from the kitchen… the Nose follows it upstairs… as far as the threshold. Lies down and watches. I place treat on bathroom floor… in easy reach… and hide behind the door, ready to close it.

Nothing. No dog.

She just watches, grinning. Then wanders off downstairs to help herself to the packet of treats mistakenly left within reach…

I hear the rustle of the pack as I think. No point trying to catch her… she can run faster than me and she quite obviously knows she is destined for the tub.

Subterfuge. That’s always worth a go.

Back downstairs… pretend to be dusting, carefree… not a bathtub in sight…

No dog either. She’s hidden under the table in the corner… I have no chance of getting her out of there.

There’s only one thing for it… treachery.

I put my shoes on and lock the back door… get the leash…

Small dog is at the door waiting to go. Slip leash over very willing neck… and walk upstairs.

Or try to.

The small dog is trying to eat her way through the leash as we walk…she is also trying to head downstairs instead of up, realising she has been abominably tricked.

Into bathroom, close door, remove leash.

Catch dog.

Lift her and half my jumper into bathtub… other half is soaked within seconds. So are the trousers.

Shampoo. Catch dog and return to tub.

Rinse… Ditto.

And again to rinse the other half.

Allow dog to escape while throwing towel hopefully over her back.. missing of course and getting showered in doggy smelling water as she shakes; a sort of eau de canine…

Open bathroom door for streak of wet, black lightning…

Look around at devastation… start mopping…

And then finally… after changing the guest bed she rolled on to get dry… make it downstairs. Ani is waiting by the door. Still dripping… but determined she’s going to have that walk one way or another…

I give in. It was a bit mean after all… and a run will help her dry…it’s quite mild out there…

Of course, it has rained… and there is a very muddy stream down the lane she loves playing in…