Reblogged from Tangental:

Teagan McSprout hated Irvine, her husband. Partly it was his condescension, which she had been blind to before their marriage by a combination of witty one liners and a genetically forked tongue that made their love-making a four-dimensional experience.

At the time even his name seemed cool – when you are born Fern-Buttock, McSprout seems a step up. But the gloss soon tarnished under his withering sarcasm. But mostly it was because she realised her was an irredeemable dickhead.

The McSprouts met at Derbyshire’s International Escapologist Olympics where he was competing in the Underwater Straightjacket (four locks) category and she in the Chains and Padlocks (50 Kg and above Freestyle) where she took gold for the third year.

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