Judy, over at Edwina’s Episodes, has just posted that it is National Encouragement Day… which, I have to say, is a new one on me. Never heard of that one before, so a quick google was in order. Nothing much came up, apart from the fact that it was launched in the US in 2007 but I am assuming that it is what it says on the tin, so to speak… a day for encouraging others.
Rather like all the other ‘Days’, it seems to me that we miss the point by choosing a special day to celebrate parents, romance, carers… or, indeed, encouragement. It should be every day, and it isn’t okay to buy flowers and chocolates at inflated prices for your Mothers/Valentines and give them nothing but demands for clean socks the rest of the year.
Oddly enough, I had a conversation today that seems to fit very well with the theme of encouragement. “I feel as if they believe in me; it makes all the difference.” My eyebrows shot up, if he wasn’t careful he was going to come perilously near to admitting I had done something useful too… “Yes, yes… I know…” He changed the subject. I didn’t blame him. But it is a fact that when someone believes in you, you learn to believe in yourself. And as soon as you can do that, you are capable of doing things you would have thought impossible before…
Take maths, now… I’d always done okay… not brilliantly, but adequately… then a change in schools and curriculum close to the end of my school years meant I had a huge amount of background work simply missing and the direction the maths classes were going left me struggling. As we approached the final term, the teacher called me to one side and said she would not enter me for the maths exams as it was obvious I would fail. The quota system wouldn’t have liked that…
At the time, she was probably right in her assessment, but I would have liked the chance to try. As it was, my own confidence took a hit and I was branded a failure in maths, not just in school, but when it came to applying for jobs afterwards. Most jobs require a qualification in mathematics… to not even have taken the exam left me high and dry… and convinced I was useless at maths. Not only maths, but the continual rejection letters from jobs reduced an already low self-esteem to a record low that had long term effects on my life.
Decades later, my partner and I were discussing what I would do with my life when he died. Not a long term plan at that point, he was approaching the final stages of terminal cancer and I had two sons to raise and a life to forge after his passing. The old problem of the lack of maths qualifications came up. “So, go get one,” he said. I laughed… I couldn’t do that… too old… can’t do maths… useless… All the ingrained beliefs and lack of confidence came out. “Yes you can. I know you can,” he said. He’d said that about me learning to drive too, after I’d been a victim in a terrible accident some years before, I had been too afraid to learn to drive. But his belief in me had changed that.
So I signed up, terrified and expecting utter failure at an evening class. The first night there was an assessment exam… stuff I had never seen before as well as a few things I could work out with a bit of common sense. I didn’t enjoy it… didn’t do brilliantly. But didn’t do too badly either. The tutor gave me a book… a big thick book of terrifying stuff I would need to learn over the three years of the programme. Apparently, they didn’t teach at evening classes, only support you as you taught yourself. Great… I was, of course, doomed to utter failure…
I went home and set to work ayway, spending all my time playing with numbers and equations. My partner encouraged me to work as much as I liked and sat back with a smile as I started to enjoy the process.
Six months later, the tutor entered me for the exam I should have taken after three years… the equivalent of an ‘A’ level in the old system. I didn’t scrape through… which I would have been overjoyed about… I passed and was awarded a Distinction. Which is possibly the single biggest surprise I have ever had.
And all it took was a bit of encouragement from someone who believed in me. He believed I could paint too… and write. Maybe even write a book…
Fifteen years and almost as many books later… I can say with absolute confidence that having someone encourage and believe in you, so that you can learn to believe in yourself, is one of the greatest gifts you can receive… and one of the greatest gifts you can give.
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
You are so right on this Sue!!! I would have never accomplished all that I have done either if someone had not encouraged me to spread my wings. This is such an uplifting and encouraging post. Thanks so much! ❤
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It really does make a lot of difference, doesn’t it, Colleen.
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Absolutely! Everyone needs someone who believes in them. 😀
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Yep! 😀
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Your story is a very positive one. A bit of encouragement really can go a long way. I think it’s also one of the reasons, incidentally, why a good teacher can make all the difference to children too.
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Yes, I think so too; a good teacher stays with you a long time.
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That was a brilliant post, Sue, Congratulations on passing that maths exam, it is true, all it took was having someone believe in you (and a little work of course)! Thanks for the mention too 🙂
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Thanks, Judy… a long, long time ago now, but the difference it made is still there.
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Definitely 🙂
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Encouragement is key Sue, you’re right!
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It doesn’t take much sometimes…
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So true… A few words…
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🙂
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Beautiful, touching and smack-on-the head relevant.
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It’s something we can all use… even the most confident-seeming .
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Excellent post Sue! I am encouraged. If Pythagoras were alive, he would be proud of you. Everything takes practice. Thanks dear.
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It is an old story… but one I will not forget.
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Reblogged this on Barrow Blogs: and commented:
A lovely story of success. Well done, Sue. I have avoided anything to do with Maths since my school days when I too,was told I would never pass the exam. I can’t say it’s blighted my life – I have a lovely life – but I have always accepted I was useless at Maths. On the plus side I was always told in my English classes I was exceptionally. Guess which one I strived at most for success?
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What an uplifting – and spot on – post, Sue. And well done on tackling maths and passing with Distinction. I agree encouraging others shouldn’t be kept for only one day in the year.
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It can take such a small thing to make all the difference that is needed sometimes, can’t it?
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Thanks for such a beautiful post. Some encouragement and some validation is all it takes to soar high
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just learning to believe in your own possibilities… and that bit of encouragement can be all it takes 🙂
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So True !
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And so you …. xx
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🙂 x
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I failed maths too. But I have never missed the qualification, it never held me back in my career… when I had one. B.C. (Before Children). I must say, if I was going to take up studying, maths would belast on the list! Well done you for doing so brilliantly. Sometimes, the time is right…
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It never actually held me back either… though I thought it did at the time. I’ve had some great jobs… perhaps I was better off without the bit of paper in reality, though beng able to prove to myself that I could do it made a heck of a difference 🙂
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Absolutely! Thats what it was all about, and good for you! 😊
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🙂
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A little bit of encouragement can go a long way. Like you, so many of us met discouragement in school or at home, and we’ve never bothered to rewrite the script as adults. I think your story of the math exam is a great one about changing and overcoming a misbelief you had about yourself. You always were a woman of ‘distinction’ but you had to discover it for yourself, with a little bit of help from a good friend! 🙂
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I have to wonder how many of us have only ever needed that someone to believe… and how much potential is sleeping out there for lack of a few well placed words, you know.
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You are right. I’m thankful for God’s encouragement and appreciate the people whom He sends to me.
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🙂
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🙂
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Sue, I’m with you all the way about the importance of encouragement. It matters so, so much.
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It does, Jean, in ways we may never even realise.
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