Today is my son’s sixth birthday… he is thirty one years old.
I ought, perhaps, to clarify. It is the 4th July. What, to the US, is Independence Day, was long ago renamed in our household as Nick’s re-birthday. And in that simple prefix lies a story of hope.
Many readers are aware of my son’s story; stabbed through the brain and left for dead in a Bournemouth alley on July 4th 2009. The injuries were so severe that a murder investigation was underway before we had reached the hospital. He was not expected to survive. He needed immediate surgery to remove shards of bone from the brain, where they had been driven by the force of the blow. Nick had been in the deepest level of coma since the attack. It would be weeks before he woke, weeks when his vital signs were dangerous and the pressure inside his skull, from swelling and bleeding, was so high we were given no hope.
As his body healed, the risk of death from the immediate injury began to recede, though there were still many complications that could have taken him from us. The fear was in some ways, even worse then. We knew that with luck, he would live… but how? We were warned that his memory, cognitive abilities, logic, and language would all be irrevocably impaired. Everything, in fact, that made my son who he was. Then, in a cruel twist, a scan showed the damage to have been far worse that had at first been believed. And that was without the continuing secondary damage as his brain swelled.
We were warned that the most likely outcome could be a fate worse than death. My biggest fear for my son was that he would retain awareness in a body that could no longer function, unable to communicate, or express the being that dwells within. Unable to be Nick.
That, we were told, was very, very likely. And there was no more they could do.
My son, however, had other ideas.
“You have a miracle on your hands,” said the internationally renowned doctor, grinning like a schoolboy and catching me in a bear hug I will never forget. Nick, even at this early stage, had shown he was still in there and fighting his way back.
I have told elsewhere of those days… today is not about how I felt then, but about what my son has achieved… and what he is going to do with it.
It was a long, long journey. Victories came daily, but they were often so small…infinitesimally small… that only those constantly present would notice, or begin to appreciate their magnitude. And it wasn’t for want of trying.
I have never, ever, seen anyone work so hard. Even before he was discharged from hospital he had added a strenuous set of exercises to his daily regime to supplement the rehab he was getting. Strenuous in the extreme… and all to be able to lift a glass of water or a one kilo weight. It is unimaginable, and impossible to describe, how hard that was, with a body that had woken half paralysed and completely uncoordinated.
Eventually, after six months in various hospitals, he was able to come home. Rest? No. From the moment he woke to the time he went to sleep there were exercises, home-made speech therapy, innovative ideas to target his problems, not the generic ones catered for by manufacturers. There were the ‘reins’ made from pipe lagging and luggage straps. Footholders made from ice-cream tubs. You don’t want to know what we did to the yoga mat… Double sided tape, children’s toys, Dr Seuss books to read aloud, video games… anything at all that could target an area that refused to work. Gadgetry we could adapt or ‘misuse’ to serve Nick’s need… It was constant… up to sixteen hours a day, every day. And all the while learning about the brain, the nervous system and anything else we could think of that might possibly… no matter how farfetched… serve to help recovery.
And why? Given the prognosis… given the obvious damage…? Because we had hope. And we refused to stop believing.
That, of course, was wholly unrealistic.
The medical profession had long since made it clear there was little more they could offer to help things get better. They could only help maintain what he had gained. Since that time there has been steady progress. Slow, tiny… but every day.
Our belief was not based on logic. Our hope had no root in cold, hard facts. We recognised them, knowing that every day could be ’it’… that limit of recovery beyond which it was not possible to pass. We acknowledged the damage, the dubious likelihood of any further recovery.
Optimism need not be blind… it can see quite clearly, but simply chooses belief in a better outcome and works towards it.
Today my son lives in his own home… a rather swish place he named Possum Palace, after the tattoo he indulged in to mark his determination… It says, ‘possum ergo facit’… ‘I can, therefore I do’.
And he does.
Nick is currently working with the Royal Bucks Hospital, close to his home, having decided he needed professional input to get him through the last steps towards his first steps… and the staff at this private facility have been incredible. The hospital has also enlisted my son to help them with a project designed to encourage hope in others with similar challenges to face. This is something Nick is passionate about. To listen to him when he speaks about it is to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that the fluency comes from a mind utterly intact, even though the brain itself may still need work.
There is more to recovery than just getting body and brain back online. There does need to be an acceptance that there will be limits… but that doesn’t mean they cannot be pushed or surpassed, nor does it mean that a way cannot be found to achieve a goal in unorthodox fashion. There must also be an acceptance of what is… it is all too easy to look back on what was and what has been lost. Nick seldom looks back… he is too busy appreciating the beauty in the world, a beauty he failed to see as a successful young businessman. He doesn’t even look back at how far he has come, not unless someone or something means he has to… and then I hope, he is just as amazed as the rest of us at what he has achieved.
We talk sometimes about the way this apparent tragedy had brought unexpected gifts… and there are many. How many of us wish there was a ‘reset’ button on life to give us a second chance? July 4th 2009 was a reboot… ‘a beginning,’ he says, ‘not an ending…’ I rather think he is going to make the most of it. So far, he isn’t doing too badly 😉
Happy re-birthday, Nick!
You can read more of Nick’s story on the blog, or better still, read his own words by clicking the links:
Happy Birthday to your awesome Nick! ❤
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Thanks, Jo 🙂
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Wonderful story. Thank you. And good luck to Nick.
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Thank you!
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What an amazing story!
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He’s a pretty amazing young man 🙂
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thanks for sharing with us Nick’s milestone. Happy birthday Nick!!! 🙂
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Thank you 🙂
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Sue, I did not know this story. I am awed by your son’s perseverance, I am touched by his story, and I salute his bravery – and that of his family. Happy birthday, Nick. You are an amazing man.
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Thanks, Kate… I have never know anyone as stubborn as my son. No idea where he gets it from.. 😉
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Reblogged this on Odyssey of a Novice Writer and commented:
It’s Independence Day in my country, a time when many of us remember the men who forged a nation well over two hundred years ago. We consider these men American heroes: Jefferson, Washington, Franklin, and others whose memory and courage we salute.
On this Independence Day, I’d like to share the story of another hero. On her blog, Sue Vincent shared the amazing odyssey of her son, Nick, and his ‘re-birthday’ on the 4th of July. Please read this story – you will be as impressed with the courage of Nick and his family as I am.
Happy ‘re-birthday’ to another 4th of July hero: Nick.
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Happy rebirthday, Nick, now and always. Punctuated by a celebratory thunderstorm in lieu of fireworks. ❤️
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Thanks, Darcy ❤
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Well it sounds like a perfect idea and as much a rebirth for you as for Nick. Hope the sun shines in all its ways, metaphorical and literal on you guys today.
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Thanks, Geoff. He has new adventures planned 🙂
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Good for him. And you!
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Today we go to indulge in one of those adventures 🙂
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Excellent!
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Sue, what an incredible story! Thank you for sharing it. Happy Birthday to you & Nick! Have a wonder-filled July 4th. Blessings! Christine
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Thank you, Christine. It has been quite a journey so far.
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Immensely moving, Sue. Happy re-birthday, Nick! xxx
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Hugs Ali xxx
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Sue, I hadn’t heard Nick story before as we have just met. I cried for the pain of what you all went through. Then my tears turned to amazement and admiration for your courage, determination and persistence. Nick has achieved so much more and shown what is possible. And you were there supporting him every step of the way. It is an inspirational story and I’m so pleased to have met your and heard the story. I wish Nick a re-birthday as awesome as he is. It is a wonderful thing to not look back, to appreciate the now and step toward the future. I wish you joy as you share your new life with Nick. That you maintained optimism and hope throughout the ordeal is absolutely wonderful.
I share my birthday with the re-birthday of a a very special friend. She was very badly injured in a car accident on my 40th birthday. We are very lucky to have her. She fought a hard battle too, but perhaps not to the same degree as was required of Nick. It is a day now with a double significance. In the first few years it was a struggle to not think of what had been, and almost been, lost. But my friend has an amazing energy and makes the most of every moment of life. We now celebrate her life, with mine, as well as on her birthday.
Look after yourselves. Enjoy this day, and every day. Best wishes. 🙂
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Thank you, Norah. It really is a special privlege to know these people, isn’t it? People like Nick, your friend, and others I have met who have faced such challenges. In them we really see the strength and persistence of life and the shining of the human spirit.
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We do. They are inspirational. 🙂
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They are indeed. 🙂
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An amazing testimony to the fortitude of which the human spirit is capable, not only for Nick (whom I salute), but for you, his parents, for your doubtless countless hours of effort, sacrifice, heartache and, yes, triumph. Thank you so much for sharing this.
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Thank you, Keith. Many people have been there for Nick, but it is only through his own determination that he has achieved so much.
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Wishing Nick all the joy in the world…a truly inspiring story of courage and determination…love you both.
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Thank you… hugs x
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Happy Birthday Nick. I hope one day to meet both you and your wonderful mum.
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You’ll get to meet at least one of us 😉
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…I knew part of the story as I follow your blog constantly… I have first-hand personal knowledge of a similar sense of re-birth, the fabulous ‘second chance’, and am grateful every day for it… Nick’s story( and yours, m’Lady, Sue) reinforces for me how fortunate i am to be still breathing and annoying the hell out of folks ! LUVZYEEZ both !
cheeers
Seumas
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Thanks, Seumas. I too have that intimate acquaintance with the ‘second chance’…you don’t waste it, do you?
Much love x
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What an inspirational story. Determination and resilience flying in the face of expectations in such a spectacular way – I stand in awe.
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So do I… every day… 🙂
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Two amazing survivors! xxx
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Thanks, Lizzy xxx
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Reblogged this on Julia Lund and commented:
This really is a story worth hearing and sharing. Determination and resilience flying in the face of expectations in the most spectacular way.
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Reblogged this on Barrow Blogs: and commented:
An inspirational story that must give hope to so many others. Thoughts and hopes for more success, with you both today.
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A great story of hope, revival and determination to keep going. Happy birthday Nick.
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Thank you, Gerard… he intends to keep going, and with some speed, I feel 🙂
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Happy Birthday Nick! I’m on my way over to your blog now 🙂
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Thanks, Judy x
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A true inspiration!!
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He is 🙂 Thank you!
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humbling – inspirational – God bless him always
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Thank you, Paul x
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I read so much about this courageous young man when I first followed your blog, Sue. Happy Day of Rebirth to Nick, for his amazing courage. And a heartfelt salute to you, Sue, for your optimism and perseverance. We can only imagine what these past 6 years have been like for your family. You are a true inspiration to us all. Thank you.
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Thank you… it has been one hell of a journey so far 🙂
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For sure, how gracious of you to share your very personal story.
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Not at all.. we hope it might help others going through hell. It is possible and it can be done. The ‘system’ has to cater for the average and can leech away hope.
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Wow! What an inspiration! Happy Re-Birthday Nick!
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Thank you!
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I did not know Nick’s story so I’m grateful to you for sharing it again. Indeed, his story adds a special meaning to 4th of July, my country’s celebration of independence. Happy Re-Birthday to Nick! And congratulations to you: your faith in your son, your love for him and belief in him has helped him get this far, farther than anyone would have imagined.
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Thank you… we are not ‘there’ yet, but he perseveres and still intends to get a good way further down the road to complete independence 🙂
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SUE, THANK YUOU FOR SHARING NICK’S STORY – AND A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HIM! YOU HAVE SHOWN HOW FAITH AND HOPE CAN WORK MIRACLES! GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
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Thank you, Michael. Hope is a powerful thing, and Nick wants to be able to share a little of that with others facing similar challenges.
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Nick is definitely one of my inspirational heroes. He proves that what one believes, one achieves. Happy 6th rebirth-day, Nick! ❤
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Thanks, Eliza. He certainly works hard to achieve what he believes he can reach ❤
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“What man believes, he can achieve.”
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Yes.. and Nick has a lot of belief 🙂
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A very happy re-birthday to Nick – a truly inspirational man. I knew the story but hadn’t read any of Nick’s blog posts and I am very glad I spent time today reading them.
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Thank you, Mary. I hope he will write more of his own views and story one of these days.
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Wow, Sue! I knew he had been involved in a tragedy, but the extent of it and his perseverance through recovery wasn’t known to me. What an inspiration to others. I’m glad he has the hospital gig. My husband is in a different sort of recovery group that mandates they share what was so freely given to them. Experience, strength and hope. I believe that’s a crucial element to sustain the passion of all recovery efforts. Happiest re-birthday, Nick. You have one helluva mom!
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Thanks, Susan. It was bad.
That sharing matters such a lot to those at the start of their own road, doesn’t it? Nick often speaks of those who encouraged him by their own example.
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Much love and congrats! Happy Birthday and for every new day that brings progress Nick!
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Thank you, Cheryl 🙂
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This makes my day–and it’s early still! Thanks for sharing your story with us.
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Thank you for reading… and taking the time to leave a comment. My son reads them all 🙂
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What an inspiring story. I wish your son the best, and happy birthday.
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Thank you.. from both of us 🙂
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Happy re-birthday, Nick! It is an amazing story. The brain is extremely plastic and can reform itself in amazing ways, but it won’t unless pushed to do it, as your son has pushed his to rewire itself.
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… and continues to do so daily. 🙂 Thanks, Trent.
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Happy Day of Rebirth to Nick. He has been through so much, as have you, and he is seeing the fruit of his hard work and perseverance. His journey back is courageous.
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Thank you, Michelle. Not an easy journey… but an amazing one to have been part of so far!
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Wow! Happy Re-Birthday to Nick. Determination is indeed the key; nothing is impossible to those who refuse to give up. But this is an extraordinary example.
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Thank you, John. My sons are rather special young men, both of them. Nick’s determination has moved mountains so far.
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Happy re-birthday to Nick. It’s a story that never gets old. I do love miracles.
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He continues to pull them out of the bag too, pretty much every day 🙂
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Reblogged this on theowlladyblog.
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Happy 4th Sue… hope you got Nick a cake with 6 candles on it. 😉
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He’s on a diet 😉 he had pizza instead 🙂
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lol!
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A very happy birthday!
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Thank you, Alicia 🙂
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I only knew part of this story, Sue, my god what a survivor, a hero, an inspiration. Have to say this post made me shed a tear. Your families perseverance and strength is Phenomenal, it’s an inspiration that gives us all hope.
Happy re birthday Nick, the sixth of many more to come.
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Thanks, Sacha, it has been a hell of a journey so far and he isn’t done yet, not by a long way 🙂
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Well you are both still an inspiration to us all. 💖
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Thank you, Sacha ❤
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I o0ove that his new birthday begins on our Independence Day. He’s a miracle man, for sure, and I know where his grit and determination comes from. Happy Birthday to you both!
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Thanks, Noelle 🙂 Good Yorkshire genes, maybe… 😉
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What a wonderful testimony of determination when all hope was lost to the drs… our bodies defy the odds . congratulations on your achievments and a very happy birthday to you Nick, may you continue to attain all the goals you set yourself.. and may God bless you continually
as you surround yourself with positive people like your mum.
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Thank you for your comment, Gloria. Human beings are capable of great things sometimes.
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Happy Re-Birthday, Nick. Congratulations on your amazing dedication, energy, determination, courage and progress! You’re an inspiration to the world.
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Thank you, Mark.. I think so too.
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Touching and uplifting story of what life really means (true independence day in finding the courage and bravery to really call this life your own – Happy Birthday Nick!).
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Thank you. Nick has found that life needs to be Lived… and that has changed everything for him 🙂
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What a remarkable and uplifting story. My best wishes to Nick and those who love him most.
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Thank you, Cynthia 🙂
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Happy Birthday Nick! You are an inspiration to us all, your Mum too. Keep on truckin’ – the world is yours.
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He is just about to go out and discover it, I think, Susan 🙂 Thank you!
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So inspiring…yet again! It is wonderful, too, to hear of Nick’s being asked to help out on a project at the Royal B hospital – yay! I hope it really goes well and that his ‘hands on’ input will be exactly what might be needed…(and, perhaps, some music now and then, too, for some of the patients). And here’s to his wonderful mum for her tenacity, so hats off to you both, you’re a continuing Inspiration to all of us in many ways
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Thank you, Karen. Music and creativity are all good for helping the plasticity of the brain… there needs to be more music in recovery, I believe.
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Sue as a relative newcomer to your blog I knew nothing of Nicks struggle and your support for him during these last 6 years. What amazing strength you both have.
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It has been a long, but amazing journey, Denis… and not over yet 🙂
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I got to know you before I read about Nick. What a miraculous story!
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Some things really do seem like miracles, Meredith, and this is one of them.
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Happy Re-Birthday Nick!!! You make life look so good, and worthy of the effort!
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Thanks, Colleen 🙂
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I didn’t know the complete story until now. It’s fantastic. Happy Birthday Nick! (Sorry I’m a little late.) and may you have many, many more. 🙂
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Thank you, Suzanne 🙂
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What an amazing story.
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It has been a strange one to live.
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An inspirational and touching story. Thank you so much for sharing it with us ❤
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Thank you, Heather. My son hopes his story can be of some use to others. I think that is very possible 🙂
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I…how can a comment possibly match what you wrote above? It can’t. So I won’t try. I will say, I heard you. I hear you. I will try to take this with me.
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Thank you. That is all that needs to be said 🙂
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It’s such an awesome story. So very inspiring and moving. Congratulations to you and your amazing son! And happy birthday to him! xxellen
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Thanks, Ellen, today is a rather special day 🙂 xxx
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And well it should be!!
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🙂 xxx
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Wow! What an amazing, incredible, inspiring story! You already know Nick is 1 in a million man.
Happy rebirth, Nick!
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Yes, I know he is:) Thank you, Melinda.
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You’re welcome, Sue. And you’re the amazing mother who helped raise him that way!
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Life seems to have given him the tools and the teachers he needed to be able face this.
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As always, truly inspiring, Sue. Thanks for sharing and sorry to be so late responding — things are a touch hectic!
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I know that feeling, Pete… especially as I now don’t know when Nick will turn up on my doorstep unannounced…which is quite wonderful 🙂
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I had a stroke on the 4th of July 1972 that left me severely disabled. Yet, I’m still truckin’ along. Please tell your son to never stop being persistent. I’m rooting for him. 😀 ❤
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Thank you, Glynis. I don’t for a minute think much is going to stop him now 🙂 ❤
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Thank you for sharing Nick’s story
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My son has a lot to share, I think. One day, I hope he will.
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Wow, I didn’t know this incredible story about your son’s injuries. He is truly an inspiration to all who must overcome seemingly unsurmountable obstacles. Congratulations to him for his amazing perseverance and courage. You too, Sue, are an inspirational person to raise such a wonderful young man. May God bless you both! Xo
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Thank you, Janice. His story is ongoing… and every day a triumph. I am very proud of my sons. 🙂 x
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A heart-warming story. I wish you all the best Opher
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Thank you, Opher. My son is busy surprising us all 🙂
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