“Do you know you are bleeding, luv?” I thanked the shopkeeper through gritted teeth. Yes, I knew. It had been going on a while. I wasn’t exactly having the best of mornings, being in the clutches of the health system and still no wiser, even after the importunate vampire attack on my veins.
Picture the scene… I was a tad preoccupied, wondering at what point I would be issued a biohazard T-shirt… and when I would start to glow in the dark given all the x-rays and scans… I had made it as far as the exit before feeling something creeping down my arm. A quick glance at the crisp, white shirt elicited an entirely unladylike expletive and an abortive search for tissue. By that time, both the book I had been reading and the sleeve were a nice, bright red and there was a small, sticky puddle forming on the floor.
I put pressure on the streaming puncture. It was only a damned blood test, after all! Dripping, I approached the reception desk to ask if they had a tissue… and was directed to the bathroom, hidden several corridors away. By the time I got there, the red stain was spreading from the now-soaked sleeve, yet no-one, even the passing staff members, asked if I needed any help.
I know. Bleeding is okay in a hospital, right? And obviously a public toilet is the best place to deal with it…
To be fair, I didn’t really need any help, though a tissue would have been handy. But given that a little blood goes a long, long way on a white shirt, no-one else could have known that… yet I was ignored. This struck me… and the ‘Someone Else’s Problem’ effect came to mind.
This is known to many through Douglas Adam’s fictional work, but it is a genuine psychological phenomenon. Wiki says of one aspect of SEP, “Where multiple individuals simultaneously experience the same stimulus, diffusion of responsibility and/or the bystander effect may release individuals from the need to act, and if no-one from the group is seen to act, each individual may be further inhibited by conformity.”
A lone and bloody shirt may be no big deal in the grand scheme of things, of course, but if this is a recognised behaviour pattern for human beings, it isn’t a good one. That grand scheme has a lot of issues where we all know we need to make choices and act. But how often do we choose not to do so, because we none of us want to be the first to break the accepted mould?
Yet it is exactly those who are prepared to be different who forge a path for the rest of us, and once one person stands, others may follow. I had to wonder how many of us were prepared to stand up and stand out, and how often we wait for others to make the first move? I know I often do… even in the silly things.
Today, unfortunately, I did stand out… though not in a particularly useful way, with my soggy shirt. One positive thing did come of it though… At least I can offer a tried and tested guarantee that the cover of The Initiate is wipe clean. The pages? Not so much…
Image source via Google image search
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
I read this twice, rather shocked. Are you a bleeder, or taking anti-clotting meditation? I think I would have been in hysterics had it been me!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Neither, Fran, but it happens occasionally. I ‘m not easily fazed after raising sons, though 🙂
LikeLike
The SEP field is one of my favorite Douglas Adams inventions. It’s a real phenomenon and I think your experience is a perfect example of it. There have been murders in New York where the screaming went on for 15 minutes or more, yet no one called the police … or did anything at all. In New York, it isn’t just SEP … it’s “I don’t want to get involved.” In the hospital, I bet it’s “I’m busy and this looks like more work.” I hope you’re okay. Sometimes, I’m sure the hospital is worse than the original problem — by far. I always hope it’ll go away by itself before I really have to go see someone about it.
LikeLiked by 3 people
Adams may not have invented the SEP, but he used the theory in ways so outlandish they were perfectly plausible. Brilliant books.
Yes, I’m sure there are a lot of other categories that fall under there too… is that modern society or a human trait, I wonder?
I’m the same… but it had gone to last resort time and beyond, so… 😦
LikeLiked by 1 person
Mrs Widds and I spent yesterday, the whole of yesterday, having her tested for a possible heart attack/stroke (turned out to be a pinched nerve!) and I was yet again reminded at how universal ‘don’t make eye contact with the patient’ is.
LikeLike
Hope that settles fast for her!
I have to say, I don’t do not making eye contact very well…. 😉
LikeLike
SEP is an interesting phenomena isn’t it? No one offered to help. They all assumed you were okay because no one else was helping. If even one person had offered to help, then others would also have rushed to your aid, recognising that assistance was required. You can’t win!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We are a daft lot, the human race sometimes. As it was, I didn’t need the help really… but if there had been a amajor problem and just not a pinprick causing the bleed? It does make you wonder…
LikeLiked by 2 people
It does indeed! 🙂
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sue, I’ve nominated you for a quote challenge. https://purpleslobinrecovery.wordpress.com/2015/07/01/quote-quorum/
Now, I’ll go back and read your post! Eek! Hopefully, you are okay now?
Melinda
LikeLike
Thanks, Melinda 🙂 Well, okay is always debateable, isn’t it 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry Sue, sounds painful and frustrating. Yes the someone else’s problem effect is really disturbing. Conformity is a really unfortunate human phenomenon, and contrary to what the conformist purportedly wants to achieve by it, it leads to more separation rather than belonging. I wish we could learn.
I also cant resist adding, in all unseriousness, it seems you’ve … um… successfully initiated your book The Initiate, at least going by more ancient rituals. With a definite unusual twist on who ends up bleeding. 🙂
Hope you’re okay now!
LikeLike
I’m not a pateient patient, so yes, frustrtating. As far as the book is concerned… I han’t even thought of that, Eilis 🙂 And I should have, of course 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m amazed that whoever did the blood test didn’t make sure the flow had stopped before letting you leave.It’s not pleasant being in your position of not knowing what’s wrong so I can hardly say I hope it’s over. But I will hope they find the cause soon and deal with the problem permanently. I don’t care for having my friends discombobulated.
Hope the blood came out of the shirt OK.
xxx Massive Hugs xxx
LikeLike
Cold water, David.. nothing else. A quick soak and it always comes out. I’m not entirely happy about being discombobulated, but I’ll be damned if I let it rule my days 🙂 Hugs xxxx
LikeLike
Reblogged this on oshriradhekrishnabole.
LikeLike
Reading this, I could not believe that you did not get offered any help for your bleeding arm! It wouldn’t have taken much to have sorted you out! Nice to know that nobody even bothered to ask you if you were ok, and just dismissively sent you off to the ‘nearest’ loo.
when I take blood from people, I at least make sure they have stopped bleeding before I leave them!!!
I am proud to say that I stand out! I hope you are ok, Sue, I don’t mean the arm, the fact that you felt you were ‘SE.P.’ That is a horrible thing to feel.
LikeLike
It didn’t appear to be bleeding when I left the chair. 50 yards away, however, it got messy. Not the first time, perhaps it was the warm day.
I didn’t mind personally that no-one thought to ask, just found it, as Ali says… a sad indictment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, very sad.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Bloody hell, Sue (in every sense), poor you. This wilful blindness and glazing effect of SEP (also known as Not My Problem, Squire) is an appalling part of so-called civilised society and and a dreadful indictment of something rotten in the mentality of all-too many people. xxx
LikeLike
Bit of a bugger, isn’t it, really? xxx
LikeLike
I should know better, but still find it hard to believe that it didn’t dawn on anyone that you might be in trouble, and in a hospital of all places.
I hope all those tests reveal nothing of note, that you are as fine as you want to be!
LikeLike
So do I… on both counts. x
LikeLike
SEP…it explains away a lot of indifference and seems to be systemic in some areas ( my daughter is a NYC resident; abides by “Do Not Engage”) but, to have that happen in a medical setting is atrocious. I can’t even imagine. I might have created a scene !!
LikeLike
I was probably creating enough of one by bleeding all over… 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
…fascinating ‘people’ (non) reaction..
LikeLike
Interesting, isn’t it?
LikeLike
Hell! This is horrible – thinking of you x
LikeLike
I could have lived without it, I have to say 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
*hands Sue a tissue* ❤ I hope all came out well from the blood test!
LikeLike
So do I… won’t know anyhing for a while. Thanks, Cao! ❤ x
LikeLike
I’m a slow clotter and have had the same problem from time to time. But I’m also a big type A personality and if I had seen you bleeding, you can bet the barn I would have done something about it, SEP be damned! Hope that blood test comes out well.
LikeLike
Thanks, Noelle… I don’t doubt that at all. (So do I, by the way… but answers would just be nice!)
LikeLike
😮 Unbelievable… you’d have thunk they could spare an elastoplast… 😦
LikeLike
Not on your Nelly.. I’m allergic to the damned things 🙂
LikeLike
lol Well, that explains that then… :p They had no cotton balls?
LikeLike
I had one stuck to my arm… nowhere near enough 🙂
LikeLike
What you are saying, then, is that the NHS need bigger balls? :p xx
LikeLike
I would not disagree with that at all 😉 xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hmmmmm, I’m no medical expert. But even “I” would have asked if you were okay if I saw you. You’d think a medical facility might have SOMEONE who was concerned about dripping blood.
LikeLike
You might have thought so indeed..
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am saddened at this – it’s true though that people don’t want to be the first. Good on those who do help when they witness and see with their own baby blues that a little kindness and concern goes a long way. Good luck on the tests. Let us know.
LikeLike
I too thought it a sad state of affairs. Had someone really needed help and been unable to ask for it, what then?
Thanks, Susan. Answers would be nice.
LikeLike
Sounds like a bloody mess! Are you okay? I am concerned because having tests usually means something is wrong. Hope not! xxellen
LikeLike
Still on my feet, Ellen, just waiting to hear if they can find out why they hurt 😉 xx
LikeLike
Hope it will all turn out okay!
LikeLike
So do I! 🙂
LikeLike