Nick, May Day, 2015
A foot was thrust into my line of vision with an injunction to look. Unable to think of a suitable retort to this unusual command, I complied. The foot appeared to be just that… a foot. Not a particularly attractive member, but fully supplied with the requisite number of toes, flushed pink. There was nothing at all remarkable about it. Attached as it was to an appropriately hairy leg it was, quite simply, a foot, evidently of the male variety.
I had woken to brilliant sunshine. The fact that it was a little after five in the morning and I hadn’t gone to bed till one had made me groan, but it had promised to be a good day for the gardening I was determined to do when I got home. Then I moved, and groaned some more at the seized hands and feet, knowing it would take a good hour at least before they would be of much use. It was one of those mornings.
Fumbling ineptly with coffee and dog food, muttering frustration, I debated the merits of pitting the pack of frozen peas against the stiffness, weighing the undoubted benefits against the inevitable complaints of the Reynaud’s… and chickened out. I would wait. There would still be time to walk Ani before I left for my son’s. I wrapped my hands around the warmth of the coffee cup instead.
Stretching the stiffness out of each cramped finger reminded me forcibly of doing the same for my son when he was in the coma. There are still flashbacks to moments that conscious memory has sought to hide. His hands and feet were no longer paired; the right side paralysed, the extremities curled and useless and every day we would force the clawed digits apart, massaging the limbs in some vain hope that when he woke, if he woke, there would be some use left in them. If he could move at all.
I was still thinking back as I drove to my son’s home. For a long time it had seemed as if our efforts would prove fruitless. Even the better, left side had only restricted movement and lacked coordination. But little by little, movement returned, although the hitherto dominant right side remained only marginally functional. My son continued to work towards control, though. Little by little. Day by day. Yet while he mastered a fair amount, under the pressure of, say, standing or weight bearing, the fingers and toes would curl. Spasticity limited movement… ataxia reined back coordination and clonus and appalling circulation added insult to injury. But he persevered regardless. Stubborn.
Six months after the attack
You wouldn’t believe the whoops of joy when he managed to touch finger to thumb! He tried to write, painted and laboriously drew… and bit by bit the fingers came back online, even if they were far from being as dextrous as they had once been. Any kind of fine control seemed liked reaching for the moon. Toes, however, are not so ‘easy’ to deal with. Few people have any real digital dexterity with their toes in the first place. So we did what we could with common sense and hope to straighten out the incurving foot and regain some suppleness and movement. You don’t want to know some of the things we tried. You certainly wouldn’t want to do some of the things he does to stretch! The road was long and slow, and it seemed doubtful he would ever get anywhere. Even so… at least his body would be in the best possible shape to permit recovery if there was ever to be a moment of breakthrough.
Pouring everything he can into his recovery and funding private neuro-physiotherapy for himself this past year, he has made progress in all sorts of areas. The staff at the Royal Buckinghamshire Hospital have been exceptional. And somewhere, something is working.
My eyes searched the proffered appendage this morning, when I took my son his tea in bed. I could see nothing unusual. Here, to all appearances, was just a perfectly normal foot.
But wait a minute…
This was his right foot! And the ankle lay straight on the bed! The toes wiggled! We shared a grin. My shoe came off and we compared the range of possible movement and control. Touching the skin of each digit, rather like playing, ‘This little piggy…’, allowed his brain to locate them individually and fire the nerves to move each toe in turn… and while that may sound like a minor achievement, this has enormous potential to help him regain balance and learn to walk again! It seems such a small thing, but it is cause for real celebration. It is hope made manifest in reality.
Watercolour by Nick, 2010
So we were on a bit of a high when we went through to the living room, where I made a bee-line for his piano-keyboard. This has become a standing joke; in the few days since its acquisition I may have spent more time playing with it than he has and he laughed as the first few notes of Für Elise filled the room with their new inevitability. I can’t play, sadly, but can pick out a melody by ear and from memory. Nick always had an inherited talent for music, but of course, this was yet another thing lost to the fallout from his injuries. The keyboard is a brand new avenue of exploration.
I left him there while I went out to get his hot tub organised… and came to an abrupt halt as I heard Greensleeves being played, all on the low notes. I smiled … even if it was his ‘good’ left hand. But then, there were high notes. I turned and walked back to the door, quietly, not wanting to break the moment… and watched his right hand pick out the ancient melody.
And for such moments, there are no words.
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
wow! Wonderful posting. I got goosebumps…
LikeLike
So did I 🙂
LikeLike
What a wonderful post Sue – for most of us small immeasurable movements but for you both a sense of wonderment and also achievement as I know the effort, time and pain that has gone into this amazing progress.. hugs to you both.
LikeLike
He’s come so far, Sally 😀 Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Such joy… Beautiful… Love to you both, Sue.
LikeLike
Beautiful? Oh yes 🙂 Thanks, Olga!
LikeLike
…and there aren’t enuff WURDS to express what a joy it is to read this, dear Lady, Sue 🙂 thanks for sharing it 🙂
LikeLike
Ah Seumas… little moments like these just add up 🙂
LikeLike
Such wonderful achievements, I’m so thrilled for Nick, he’s got some incredible perseverance! So happy for the both of you!!! 🙂
LikeLike
He’s earned every last scrap of his rogress 🙂 Thank you, Eilis 🙂
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Covey View and commented:
A tme of recovery & rejoicing.
LikeLike
Thank you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is amazing Sue! The feet, but then the music! You must have been filled with joy and tears. I believe music has healing power, to play even more so as it takes extraordinary mental and physical agility to coordinate. There is no stopping your young man. What an inspiration you both are… whether you believe it or not!
LikeLike
For Nick to be able to use his memory to call up each note, to be able to sequence and find them on a keyboard and then play them… none of it ‘should’ be possible given the injuries he sustained. It amazes me what the human form is capable of achieving. He amazes me 🙂
LikeLike
This is wonderful Sue, that final line says it all…
LikeLike
Thank you… it sort of does, doesn’t it? 🙂
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Barrow Blogs.
LikeLike
Thank you Sue for sharing this. Absolutely beautiful and inspiring. I needed it today. 🙂
LikeLike
Hugs, Florence. I’m glad to be able to share 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
The capacity to heal..both the brain and the spirit. Unparalleled.
LikeLike
It always amazes me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You and Nick make me feel…..alive.
LikeLike
Bless you, Colleen. It’s certainly life in technicolour 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you for proving there is joy in this world Sue, and letting us share yours. (and the artwork, the watercolour is beautiful)
LikeLike
He painted that when his right hand was almost useless. I’d love to see what he could do now 🙂 x
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Anita & Jaye Dawes.
LikeLike
What a fabulous story – you are both obviously strong and determined people. Congratulations to you and your son.
LikeLike
The credit is all his, Juli 🙂 Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your son is such an inspiration. Thanks for sharing his amazing progress (and beautiful artwork!)
LikeLike
He seems to be making progress every day at the moment 🙂
LikeLike
That is wonderful to hear – yay! Lots of folks are praying for him! 🙂
LikeLike
And that support has made so much difference, in so many ways, right from the very start. Thank you x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on oshriradhekrishnabole.
LikeLike
Wonderful to read this news, Sue. I was smiling this time because of the sheer joy you must have felt at seeing Nick’s toes move. May the road to recovery get easier for you both as you travel along it.
LikeLike
As long as the road keeps on going, Hugh, until he gets where he wants to be 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m keeping everything crossed for you both. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you 🙂 x
LikeLike
Congratulations to him. What a journey. And how strong you are, Sue.
LikeLike
Thank you, Jaqui, all credit goes to my son for what he has achieved. 🙂
LikeLike
I missed this post yesterday somehow. I’m so glad I found it this evening – even if I’m now sitting with a lump in the throat. Wonderful.
LikeLike
Fabulous, isn’t it? And today he played me a piece he’d composed 🙂 With both hands 🙂
LikeLike
Wonderful post, Sue! What a joy to read of your son’s progress. The healing power of music, in part, at work! Christine
LikeLike
Thank you, Christine, he’s doing splendid thnsg at present 🙂 Music has such a lot to offer where healing is concerned. Apart from therapy in chronic conditions, we seem to have almost forgotten that.
LikeLike
This is my first visit here Sue, but, not my last. You have touched my heart. A mother’s love starts with tremendous pain but blossoms into such beauty it takes your breath away. Your son has inherited a quality from you beyond compare. Both of you are winning a battle hand in hand, heart to heart. I will keep both of you in my daily prayers.
“Beneath the snow lies the Rose.”
You have rocked my world today. :o)
LikeLike
Thank you, Patricia. We are grateful for your thoughts and prayers.
LikeLike