FROM HELLISH BREAKDOWN TO HILARIOUS BREAKTHROUGH: THE BIRTH OF ‘LONG-LEGGETY BEASTIES’  by Alienora Taylor

In November 2003, I had a breakdown – and was off work for six months as a result. I realised then that both teaching and key elements of my private life were not contributing to my overall well-being and happiness -but, convinced that the fault lay in my own difficult character, downed the anti-depressants, limped to the therapist and, eventually, went back to school the following May.

That period of time was, although I did not know it at the time, a seed sown, and a path just waiting for me to step upon its rough and rocky surface.

During those months at home, I began to write – for the first time (other than the journal) in twenty years. Through the panic, the desperation and the tears, somehow I rediscovered my sense of humour and an important part of the Alienora spirit.

Somehow, out of intense pain and fear, ‘Long-Leggety Beasties’ was born.

It made me laugh. It healed a part of me I had not even realised was broken – and, ultimately, it helped to clarify my thoughts and disperse some of the dread mist which had obscured my sight and my hope for so long.

Something snapped in 2003 – and, although I did carry on as a teacher for another eight years, my desire to write became ever-more urgent.

I longed, with a passion, to set down my chalk and board rubber and take up the pen and pad upon which I had scribbled my thoughts for so many years.

Fast forward to the end of 2014 – and my decision to publish a collection of humorously erotic short pieces as both an e-book and a paperback: Somehow, the act of opening this door completed the wounded cycle started back in 2003 and paved the way for a new journey, a very different way of being, a substantially altered Alienora.

Thanks to Sue Vincent – who has been an absolute star with formatting and support and encouragement – I decided to publish ‘LLB’ as a paperback this January.

Sue has been the epitome of inspirational brilliance throughout: She designed the cover image, formatted both books for me and has always been at the end of an email when I have faltered and lost my confidence. A true friend indeed. Thank you so much, lovely lady.

The heroine of the book is young teacher, Geraldine Dolan – and, yes, she is based, in part at least, upon the twenty-three-year-old Alienora Browning (as I was then). Her adventures, surreal and exaggerated as they are, have a strong element of truth about them.
The Archers, for example, existed: Although they did not fire arrows from the battlements, they WERE an eccentric and thoroughly endearing group of free spirits. I loved them dearly and learned a huge amount from them.

The children in the novel are an amalgam of actual types I taught during my thirty years at a school in the South West of England. I hope my affection comes through in these portrayals.

The education system is flawed – and I describe those weaknesses bluntly – but, back in the eighties when I started teaching, it was also superb in many ways, and I hope this comes across strongly too.
I was a maverick – and, initially, that was accepted, even welcomed. I was surrounded by a small group of fellow Prick-Kickers and, although I did get into trouble from time to time, the general feeling was that we colourful types were an asset to the profession.

Sadly, this attitude has gone from schools. The mavericks are retiring – and are not being replaced. A tragedy, I feel, and one which will have a huge impact upon the education of YOUR children.
But, ‘LLB’ deals with those halcyon years in my life before political correctness placed a Scold’s Bridle in each teacher’s mouth and forced us to speak in edu-jargon and mindless platitudes.

I have dedicated this book to the real-life Archers – but most of all to the thousands of children I taught, mentored or just talked to in my long career as an English teacher.

You can follow Alienora’s Blog here. She writes from the heart, sharing her personal journey and her bawdy humour.

‘LONG-LEGGETY BEASTIES’

and her irreverent erotica are available in paperback and for Kindle via Amazon UK and Amazon.com worldwide.