I’ve stuffed my ear with toothpaste.
I gave up on other stuff,
But a mozzie in the earhole
Is the outside of enough.
I thought the things had finished,
Buggered off to hibernate,
But this voracious blighter
Seems as if it’s running late.
I heard the whine… ignored it…
Because, if you remember
Summer’s well and truly over
And we’re almost in December.
I’d thought myself quite safe now…
Be a while before they’re back…
But no, the damn thing got me
With an aerial attack.
My ear, of course, as happens,
When the mozzie comes to tea,
Immediately blossomed
Like a scarlet peony.
The antihistamines don’t work…
Not pills, nor putting cream on,
It just swells up all virulent
And it itches like a demon.
The toothpaste is a last resort,
Not pretty, but effective,
Though as an ear adornment
Spearmint seems a tad defective.
Mosquito bites in winter
…Or at any time of year…
Are bad enough, but honestly
…Right in the bloody ear!
I had revenge, I have to say,
And no, I didn’t swat it.
It flew across the small dog’s view
So she just snapped and got it.
And so in spearmint misery
I’ll just sit here and itch,
And write the mozzie’s epitaph,
Put simply, “Death’s a bitch.”
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
They.never.die
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Ah… you too are plagued?
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Yes, even after hard freezes and snow, there always seems to be one zombie skeeter on the prowl…
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Rotten little things….
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😦
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Wonderful, just wonderful and so funny!
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One can see it isn’t your ear, Ali 😉
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Ah but Sue I was also just about to comment and say this was funny! So I decided to add that thought to the similar conversation already in occurrence, instead. Very well written and lovely, and brought on a smile. Seriously, as I’ll be a year older in two days time and am not totally happy about it, I needed a good reason to smile. So, sorry you are feeling so miserable from the bite, (no fun!, and why do they have to have such an irritating sound on top of it all?) and here’s to Ani for getting rid of the bloody thing (meant literally.) Wish my dog would do that! 🙂
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Well, if I can’t laugh at myslef with an ear full of toothpaste, I’d have a real problem.
Ani appears to think it is hilarious… but keeps trying to clean it for me and toothpaste isn’t good for her.
Mind, I don’t suppose mozzies are either! 🙂
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Yes, laughing at ourselves, its necessary.
Also, lol, I doubt dog lick is going to help the toothpaste do its thing. Ani’s adorable. 🙂
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Oh yes… on all counts! 🙂
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That was funny. Hate mosquitoes, but never been bit in the ear. Worst was the tip of the nose for me. I had to laugh at the title too because my son once tried to be silly by brushing everything, but his teeth with his toothbrush. Got the nose, ears, forehead, chin, and hair.
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I’m not sure there is much left on me unbitten over the years… but toothpaste is the best thing I’ve ever found for the itch!
I remember one of my sons painting the bathroom with toothpaste… amazing how quickly they can do these things when your back’s turned!
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Is it a certain kind of toothpaste or any will do? I can’t really see how the gels would help.
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The white kind works best for some reason, though I think it is because of the combination of the mint and the base carrier. Don’t really care why… just glad it does!
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Learned something new today. Thanks. 🙂
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Seems to work for most people 🙂
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Fortunately, in our dry climate, mosquitos are moderate, and with our diet high in green chiles, garlic and other spices, the mosquitos we have generally leave us alone. Then there are visitors — friends who either eat bland foods or maybe they are seen as new blood by the buzzing little vampires — they are mosquito magnets. So all the sprays and mosquito bombs must be deployed when we have visitors.
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I get the little blighters even in Englad these days… never eally used to though central France was an interesting experience. Lemons lined up on window ledges, mosquito lozenges burning constantly… did they help? No. At least this is a little rarer!
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Very funny! But not the bite…good going, Ani. Saved your mistress from another bite.
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Thank you, Noelle!
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That was hilarious! Toothpaste was always my Grandma’s remedy for everything that ails ya! 🙂
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If it works as well on other things as it does with mosquito bites, then she was probably right 🙂
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So funny…not for you though! Bit of tea tree and/or lavender will see you right 🙂
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The toothpaste seems to be the most effective 🙂 Ludicrous… but effective…
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