My two-legs has broke down again,
Or maybe she’s still broke,
I think she’s cute with hamster cheeks…
She says its not a joke.
Her eyes have gone all squiffy
So she cannot see to write,
She’s curled up on my sofa
More than she’s in bed at night.
I wondered why she looked so odd,
But worked it out, you see…
It’s not her health that’s playing up,
It’s all because of me!
I’ll tell you why she’s been laid low,
It’s cause she made a threat
To wash me with the smelly stuff
And get me soaking wet.
She does it periodically,
Although I squirm and cry,
And though, in spite of all she does,
I mostly end up dry.
She says I really need a bath
Because I’m getting whiffy,
You’d think that she’d have learned by now,
But then, her logic’s iffy.
And so I closed my eyes and wished
That we’d not have to do it,
That something would come up
So that she wouldn’t put me through it…
The trouble is, that now it has,
It means no walks or playing,
Perhaps I should have thought it through
Before I started praying…