The advantages of geezerhood

Every time I go to New York, I learn something new. Last time, I learned that I’m one of these people.

PRIORITY SEATING: Please offer your seat to a pregnant woman. Unless she’s wearing a Red Sox hat.

I know that because every single time I got onto a subway, people leaped up to offer me their seat. My baby is a college graduate, and the only happy event I’m expecting is the release of the new iPhones. (My death-by-techie brother sometimes gives me his old ones.) So that leaves me as the three-legger. Wait… WTF?

See, I think of myself as this.

But apparently, in the light from the New York subway system, I’m this:

Do you think for one minute I’d admit to undeserved and unnecessary impersonation of a senior citizen? Hell, yeah. That seat was mine.

And that’s when it hit me. There are…