“We wish our calendar worked…properly.”

“I thought you were going to lose a wish then. Why doesn’t your calendar work properly?”

“We never know how many days there are in the month.”

“Isn’t there a rhyme?”

“There is a rhyme but it isn’t a true mnemonic so that doesn’t work properly either.”

“But what do you have against the calendar itself?”

“The twelfth month is called month ten, the eleventh month is called month nine, the tenth month is called month eight and the ninth month is called month seven… it’s incredibly confusing… and it is too Roman.”

“Too Roman?”

“The Romans departed these shores many hundreds of years ago, yet we still have a January and a June, not to mention a March, and even more despicably we still have a July and an August.”

“For that matter, you also have a February, but why, ‘even more despicably’?”

“We…