“Oooh, you look well!” She beams you a chirpy smile across the yard, halting you in your progress with the heavy load of rubbish for the bin. You force the pained grimace into more acceptable lines, unwilling to scare the nice old lady.
Why is it that you only ever hear those words when your hair is wild, you wear no make-up, you’ve had no more than three hours sleep and have just fallen down the stairs? When you have cursed the alarm clock that makes you crawl back upstairs to turn off its insistent clamour two hours after you reluctantly rose to start a day you could wish you had missed. When the bathroom scales say there are several alien pounds of flesh you were not, until this moment, acquainted with…and which have no call to have invoked squatting rights on your hips when the budgie eats more than you do. When, in fact, you feel that roadkill is probably more attractive and certainly has more life in it than you…
“It’s probably the extra weight…” says your boss, who is also your son and can, therefore, afford to level such insults offer such consolation with impunity.
The little, white haired old lady who wouldn’t harm a fly is innocently putting you through a meat grinder as she squints short-sightedly at your face with all the intensity of a mosquito zeroing in on its supper.
“Have you been on holiday?” Visions of warm, white sand and the tang of Mediterranean salt are dredged from memory… No, that’s not a sun tan… that’s weathering from walking an all-too-energetic hound at stupid o’clock in all weathers. You listen with polite envy… even if a package holiday to a crowded resort-with-organised-activities-and-line-dancing is your idea of hell.
“Never mind,” says the evil and filial genius, “you’ll get a day off next week…” he omits the required 4am start the day before that means you’ll be a zombie through the day off….
“Have you hurt yourself?” she asks solicitously, looking at the splinted appendages. You mumble something incoherent while she recounts the horror story of her brother’s hip replacements and a friend’s amputation…
“Cheer up,” grins the boss. “It could be worse….”
When we’re out of coffee? I don’t think so….
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
Sorry!!! Hugs.
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🙂
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Reblogged this on oshriradhekrishnabole.
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Empathise with everything you say, Sue. I always have the suspicion that people can see those extra pounds I’ve put on when they say I look well and are gleeful because they’ve lost a ton of flab. Last week i went for my asthma check-up and found I’d lost an inch in height and gained a stone in weight since the last went (and that’s only in the last year) Carry on like this and I’ll be a splodge on the floor eventually!
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You and me both, Judith.. And it comes all at once too!
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used to say I had a muffin top above my jeans – now it’s truly a cottage loaf!!
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I am told I do not resemble bakery items ;)… it is just my perception. I, on the other hand, was idiot enough to install a full length mirror next o the wardrobe where I dress… I percieve all too much of me 😉
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Sue, you’re so funny!!
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Glad you enjoyed 😀
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Oh what a horrid start to the day Sue, I have brothers that like to point out unwanted weight gain (men do not get it that we are well aware when we put even an ounce on, and do not need to have it pointed out)! Hope the day gets better for you 🙂
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Sons are the worst… And I can only blame myself for that 😉
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I hope your day improved.
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I gave it no chance to do otherwise 🙂
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MORNING!!! 😀
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Morning, H x
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Just love the way you take everything (and I do mean everything) in your stride, Sue…
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A very short stride 😉
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Reblogged this on Anita & Jaye Dawes.
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Reblogged this on stevetanham and commented:
More from the ‘twins’ . . .
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From experience, many bring out the misanthrope within, to then question why one gives them the death stare. Very well written!
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Thanks Francesca, I can glare with the best of them… 😉
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Oh dear! 😢 Hope things improve, and quick! Hope you are recovering from your fall. Xxx
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Just stiff now…with centrally heated joints xx
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Sorry Sue, but I laughed at this (mostly because I can relate!).
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Don’t apologise! That’s one compliment I can handle 😀
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Ouch. Hope tomorrow’s a mych better day.
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I am expecting to be rather stiff, Fransi! 🙂
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A while ago, everyone was telling me how well I looked. Now they’ve stopped – I must REALLY look rough!
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I know that feeling…most of the time 😉
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Oh boy, oh boy! As for the ‘boss’, let me deal with him!
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Help yourself, Sarah 😉
Thought of you last night as I was writing a piece on the Vernon chapel in Bakewell for tomorrow 😉
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I’m one of those very same Vernons. 😀
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That’s why I was thinking of you 🙂
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How did you know?!
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I’ve seen your name somewhere.. haven’t I? Must have…
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hahahahahahahahaha!!!
Though I hope your day gets better, it made for some hilarious reading 😉
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It couldn’t have got a lot worse by then 😉
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Why are Mondays always so trying? 😉
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It’s the nature of the beast 😉
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And I thought I had had a bad start to my day! Look on the bright side – maybe she DOES see you as looking well. Use her imagination, and feel better! Great chuckle here, Sue!
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I know eyesight gets worse as you get older… my mirror tells me there is some conssolation in that 😉
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