Stowford’s and office chairs

stowford's cider

I’ve still got two Stowford’s just sat in the fridge,
And I know that you’re thinking that that’s sacrilege
But I seldom drink alcohol when I’m alone
And as Ani’s teetotal, I’m all on my own.

I’ll save them, I thought, for a nice sunny day
When the garden gets done, or I’ve been out to play
Taking Ani out into the fields for a run…
I’ll be hot and bothered, and then I’ll have one.

But of course I forget, as I am quite unused
And the habit of such luxury is reduced –
To have Stowford’s at home, well that’s really quite new,
So you’d think I’d be up for imbibing a few.

As a gift, I must say, that their welcome was sure
And the knowledge I do not have weeks to endure
Before getting a pint of that cool, golden liquor…!
I could not have accepted them any quicker!

And yet they still sit there, all frosty and chilled,
Not even because I have been iron willed,
Or, miserly, seek to hang on to my treasure…
I simply forget to indulge in the pleasure!

Tomorrow, however, I’ll be celebrating
The well-padded cushioning for which I’m waiting
Should finally make it as far as my door
And I won’t have to fall off my chair any more.

You may well remember the tale of the chair
That decided to break and throw me through the air,
Where I landed in such an inelegant heap
And with tail off the chair where the bruising went deep…

So to deep leather padding, and proper adjusting…
Wheels that stay on and in which I’ll be trusting,
With thanks and with cider, I’ll raise up my glass
To a chair that stops me falling right on my…….

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.
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41 Responses to Stowford’s and office chairs

  1. Congratulations! I have needed a new desk chair for a long time, but I can’t figure out what to do with the old one. Tip one for me, too 🙂

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  2. I have Guinness and Pear Cider in the fridge…. only the occasional drinker, they are there when I want them!

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  3. noelleg44 says:

    Hope that new chair is really comfy and you get to pour yourself a cold one to celebrate!

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  4. TamrahJo says:

    Yes – some luxuries must be cut, to get done what needs to be done – on the other hand – Oakley (my own Ani) often sits with me on the couch – after she has lured me away from the computer and I comb her hair, in between sips of my own luxury and then she woof-woofs when I fall asleep cuz I had more than one – cuz, she knows if I sleep on the couch, my back will hurt and I’ll be grumpy tomorrow (actually, she’s just alerting me to move off her favored spot…. LOL)

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    • Sue Vincent says:

      If I fall aspleep on the sofa Ani just curls up on the sofa back, one paw resting on me to make sure I don’t move… or maybe just because she can… and that’ll be it till morning 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • TamrahJo says:

        🙂 In all honesty, she doesn’t really ‘kick me’ off the couch – but she does woof, lick, etc., and nudge me if I fall asleep – it’s in her own best interest – I’m tired, stiff, sore, grumpy if I sleep on the couch more than one night every 6 months – so she does her best to keep me and her and the child unit living in a happy household – which means, she tries to get me lured away from computer work if I haven’t been up/active enough in one day and boots me off the couch – LOL

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  5. barbtaub says:

    Ha! Love the heard rhyme at the end. And congrats on the new chair. My writing chair is a heavy unforgiving Edwardian wheeled beast. I bought him for the hub who (understandably) spurned him in favor of a hideously comfortable leather and mesh modern number. So out of pride and a lifetime of penny-squeezing, I’m stuck with the beast.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. stevetanham says:

    Reblogged this on stevetanham and commented:
    As the group of us in the Silent Eye have drunk many a pint of Stowfords cider, I couldn’t resist reblogging this from Sue Vincent.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Ha Ha, very cleverly done! I hope you enjoy your cider – and the new chair 🙂

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  8. TanGental says:

    Dodgy last line, Sue! Reminds me of David Coleman describing the 800 metre Olympic final in 1976 as the Cuban Alberto Juantorena exploded to the front to win ‘And the big Cuban opened his legs and showed his class’ I imagine you are grateful you didn’t do that on the old chair!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Eliza Waters says:

    Oh, I remember the incident, told as usual, with great humor as with the above. 🙂 Spring must be new chair season. I just bought one of those ergonomic ones to keep my back straight by resting shins on a front cushion. Takes some getting used to, comfortable, but the knees complain no matter what chair I choose. I’m supposed to get up every hour anyway, I suppose. Old bones grumble a lot. 😉

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  10. Ali Isaac says:

    Sue, you’ve done it again! Brilliant and funny, love it!

    And what a coincidence, I am awaiting delivery of my new office chair too! Can’t wait! 😀

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  11. Congratulations on the new chair. It’s nice to gift youself once in a while. Great poem. About the only time my dad used to drink alcohol was when it was hot and he’d done yard work. He’d drink a cold beer. 🙂

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