Ode to a dead office chair…


My dignity is damaged
Since the wheel fell off the chair
And sent me spinning backwards
With both feet up in the air.

There was that awful moment
When I knew I couldn’t stop
And wondered on which bit of me
The chair …and me… would drop.

I don’t do acrobatics
…Volunatrily… these days
The passing years and dodgy joints
Have made me mend my ways.

The wrist took most of the assault,
The hip most of the rest,
The dodgy spine did none too well…
The chair had come off best.

I lay there winded, wondering
If I should dare to move
And if I did I wondered
Just how painful it might prove.

The small dog had a panic
And ran over in alarm
To check to see I was okay
Or if I’d come to harm.

She didn’t know quite what to do,
But, glad I wasn’t dead,
She licked my face and just sat down
To guard the corpse instead.

The corpse looked at the ceiling
Feeling rather wan and faint…
Deciding it could do with
Yet another coat of paint.

My dignity is bruised today…
My posture’s not terrific.
Let’s say I need a cushion…
And let’s not be more specific…

So signing off with poetry…
A ditty, not an ode…
I plan to spend the afternoon
In horizontal mode.

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.
This entry was posted in Humour, Poetry, Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

60 Responses to Ode to a dead office chair…

  1. Green Embers says:

    ouch. I’ve had this happen to me before too, it wasn’t pretty. Glad to see you could make a nice rhyme of it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Running Elk says:

    Oh my lord… the ‘elf and safety paperwork…
    Good to see that Ani’s “First aid at work” training has paid off – did exactly the right thing… apart from lick the casualty, of course… that’s generally frowned upon… :p


  3. Yoshiko says:

    Amazing. I can understand that you are trying to work very hard. Even I also do the same and guilty to work too much.


  4. Ice it and take care – hope you don’t hurt tomorrow


  5. kanzensakura says:

    I’m sorry this happened but what a delightful poem. And Ani as usual, right on the mark. I know you will take care just don’t look at the bedroom ceiling too closely or you may want to add more paint there as well! 🙂


  6. You’ve been zooming around your office again, haven’t you? When will you kids learn!


  7. Yowzer. Hope all is well and the bruises not painful, even if they may be colorful.


  8. Eliza Waters says:

    LOL – you make it sound so slapstick, but sincerely, I hope you are not too harmed and both your dignity and arse will recover. 😉


  9. Bravo, Sue! I smiled at your wit in telling this incident, but oh! it’s not so funny when the body takes a beating. I really like this poem. 🙂


  10. I too have an aging but beloved office chair. If I could figure out how to get rid of it, I’d get a new one. I solved the problem by using my laptop in the other room. And the desk chair just … waits. Old. Tired. Waiting to dump me on my … butt? hip? back? head?


  11. mikesteeden says:

    A bucket of lager should do the trick – the verse did rather make me chuckle – trust all is well obviously!


  12. What a fun poem. The doodle adds so much to it. Is it your drawing? Sorry for the inquisition from post to post!


  13. So sorry you are sore and aching and had this little scuffle with the chair. But you really have this comic poetry down pat– I love it!! Feel better and keep writing funny poems! xx ellen


  14. socialbridge says:

    Poor you! Hope you’re not too battered. Had an extraordinary experience once when separate chairs that my father and I were sitting on collapsed within about 5 minutes of each other. It was hilarious at one level but I completely understand about the cushion!


  15. Ali Isaac says:

    Hope your sore bits are improving! Poor you! 😕


  16. Loved your humorous take on a nasty fall. Hope you’re feeling much better by now. 😉


  17. Éilis Niamh says:

    Sorry Sue, ouch! Glad you’re not even more seriously hurt, and I love the poem. 🙂


  18. tiramit says:

    I’ve had this happen, conclusion: chair fights back…


  19. jenanita01 says:

    Reblogged this on Anita & Jaye Dawes and commented:
    love this poem!


  20. Ouch! But so pleased to see you wrote a very humorous poem about the incident, Sue. I’m guessing Ani may have thought it a game and licked you over the face? That’s what Toby the Corgi tends to do when I end up on the floor.


  21. Noah Weiss says:

    Humour is the best way to mend an injury like that. I remember some times that I have sat in broken chairs… maybe I should blog about it sometime!


  22. Thank goodness you’re injuries weren’t worse. Hope you’re feeling better soon. I loved the poem, but wish it hadn’t been necessary.


  23. Sorry about that typo. 😦


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