To my visitor…

Thomas Shahan

Image: Thomas Shahan

Biting my ankle was out of order.

And I know it was you.

And it bled.

Which is very inconvenient, given the sheets were white and it was four a.m. and I should have been asleep. Would have been asleep.

Hell, you should have been asleep. In case you haven’t noticed, it is England in January. Minus two degrees. What happened to hibernation?

I, at least, was in bed. Okay, I suppose you were too, but I didn’t invite you. Find your own.

I don’t even know what you are. A mozzie I would know about. It would itch.

You, on the other hand, appear to operate by stealth attack, leaving only the warm, unfamiliar trickle of blood down the ankle to alert me to the invasion of my sheets.

If, by any chance, you were the eight legged monstrosity currently rather flattened and feet up beside the bed, I am sorry. The bare foot was completely inadvertent, I do assure you.

If you are anything else, I would appreciate it if you would vacate the premises.

Immediately.

It might, indeed, be advisable on several counts, given the currently lurgied state of your host. Who knows what horrors eating me might visit upon your health after all?

Can bugs get bugs?

Do you really want to find out???

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.
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46 Responses to To my visitor…

  1. …could have been worse, Sue… just think if you were living at Loch Ness! 🙂

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  2. alienorajt says:

    Well, that told the little sod, Sue – Gordon Bennett, what a bloody cheek, to actually cosy up and bite you! Glad you stepped on it! Yuk! xxx

    Like

  3. stevetanham says:

    Are you feeling lucky, Plunk? x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. That’s octicide! You can get five years for a squashed spider.

    Like

  5. Hilarious! I just LOVE ‘Can bugs get bugs?’ I hope whatever lurgy is bothering you soon passes, and that any intending visitors heed your words and ‘vacate the premises’! Thanks for starting my morning with a laugh 🙂 And great that you found a funny side…not a nice way to be woken in the middle of the night… Happy, Healthful blessings, Harula xxx

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  6. mikesteeden says:

    Crikey made me jump did that! It looks so like the mother-in-law – uncanny!

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  7. HomeFreeKids says:

    LMAO! I luv this!

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  8. Hope you got the little bugger.

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  9. My worst nightmare. I think I’m going to give up sleeping and just watch for bugs. Shiver …

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  10. ĽAdelaide says:

    Sue, spiders are so hateful that way… I hate how they creep around, crawling up unsuspecting sheets fallen on the floor. Taking advantage, they are without scruples and I am convinced they are just greedy. They don’t HAVE to take a bite as well as a sniff. They could just keep it to themselves… 🙂

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  11. noelleg44 says:

    Been there, had that done to me. Did you have a bad reaction? Last time I had to be put on prednisone. Only you could write a lyrical story about being bitten by a spider!

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  12. Anonymous says:

    Oh dear, I have a bite but never thought of spiders! Didn’t know whether to accuse Arthur of fleas or a mosquito that was seen in the bedroom. Unseasonal things happen so often these days – there have been a bee, a hornet and two butterflies in the house in the last fortnight.

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  13. Adrian Lewis says:

    Hahaha >>> “Can bugs get bugs?”???????????? Come on, you know this rhyme, Sue –

    “Big fleas have little fleas,
    Upon their backs to bite ’em,
    And little fleas have lesser fleas,
    and so, ad infinitum.”

    0nly in your case it was ad ankle … 🙂 A

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  14. Poor you! We had huge biting spiders in africa but i wouldn’t want one in my bed!

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  15. Eliza Waters says:

    Dreadful – hope you got the culprit!

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  16. denis1950 says:

    Hi Sue. copy this link into your browser and you will see that my recommendation of a pet Kingfisher may solve your spider problem. These huntsmen spiders usually are about as large as a man’s outstretched hand. They are common throughout Australia and happily cohabit with humans inside houses. Huntsmen creep around ceilings and walls hunting mozzies, flies etc. We have had the odd one visiting that spends up to a week inside doing the rounds of the rooms. If they stay out of trouble we call them Wolfgang and even leave dead insects for them but If they are particularly large or frisky we catch them in a jar and throw them over the fence into our neighbours. These spiders also love to travel and often find their way inside cars where they seem to especially relish flattening out under a folded sun visor. Many a time one flicks down the visor whilst driving into a setting sun and discovers a large spider running across your thighs. The occasional car accident caused by a huntsman spider appears on our news reports. A highly strung friend of ours who dislikes spiders of any kind had a sun visor experience driving along a freeway. She immediately abandoned her car ( after braking harshly onto the verge fortunately) to be rescued by a passing truck driver. https://geoffpark.wordpress.com/2015/01/05/the-big-breakfast-please/

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  17. Éilis Niamh says:

    What a bugger! Sorry, couldn’t help that one. 🙂 I hope whatever it is got out of your space as fast as its little wings or legs could carry it and that you’re not still dealing with the bite mark left behind. No fun.

    Like

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