Honestly, you have no idea how hard I have to work to look after her!
Last night it was the big spider outside the window. Just hanging there, looking at her… I barked and barked, tried to get up on the windowsill… there’s a handy planter outside, but she started moaning about me knocking the apples off her baby tree… In the end I managed to get her to do something about it instead… the feather duster has a long reach and she wiggled the web to make it go away. She says it was to keep me quiet, but I’m not so sure. I mean, it was looking at her as if she was a lifetime’s meals!
Photo: Nick Verron
Then it was the fly. How can she work when there is a fly sitting on top of the computer? And if she can’t work she can’t finish… which means we can’t play and I had the balls lined up and everything!
It’s been a hard day. Flies, birds, that ruddy ginger tom from next door… and if that wasn’t bad enough, I had to defend her from aliens.
What do you mean there’s no such thing???
Green, big eyes, fat, squidgy bodies… sounds like an alien to me… and I’ve never seen one of these before. Stood up to me too!
Reared up on its hind le..well, whatever they are, You can’t really call those little suckery things legs!
And would she come out and see? No. I kept trying to get her outside but she wasn’t having any of it. Just huddled in the fleecey thing and moaned a bit. She says she’s a floosie.
No, hang on, she says she’s got infloosie… or something like that anyway. She’s all croaky and sniffy and achey and isn’t moving much. I’ll bet you she tries to get out of taking me for a run tonight… We’ll see… I might let her off if there’s anything nice in the fridge… cheese or ice-cream or something. Bet there isn’t though. Mind you, there was proper stuff yesterday… My boy had been cooking and sent me some lamb home with her… all the bits he didn’t fancy. There’s something worth being good for!
What was I telling ‘bout? Oh yes… the alien.
I kept trying, and she came out, ‘ventually. She tried telling me it was some kind of cat or pillow… does she think I’m daft? (Don’t answer that, ball-guy….)I know a cat when I see one, not that I see them for long, mind you… they can run… This thing just stood its ground. I kept pawing round it and barking at it… I even sang to it… but it wouldn’t move! Just reared up like Jack to the giant!
And if it was a pillow I would just have unstuffed it. Believe me, I wasn’t getting close enough to get the stuffing out of this thing!
Then, she tries telling me its an elephant hawk moth. Now really people… does she expect me to believe that thing’s an elephant??? Or a hawk? And it sure as heck is no moth… !
Editor’s note: Oh yes it is…
She says its synchronous or some such thing, ‘cause she was doing pictures of butterflies earlier. Don’t see the connection myself, unless they are aliens in disguise. Hrmph. Then again, we all know she’s weird…
‘Course, by now she’s in hysterics. No.. not panicking… laughing. At me! And gone for the camera thingy. “Well, I never,” she says…’pparently she was only talking about these aliens the other day with the poetry guy. Now, she says he lives up north aways, so these things have really invaded… they’re everywhere! And it must have been going on for ages, ‘cause she says she saw one when she was a puppy too!
So, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back on duty… I know she moved that one away from the house, but who knows what else is lurking out there?
Much love,
Ani xxx
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
Well done for standing up to the scary alien, Ani – wouldn’t have fancied it myself: looks nasty to ME! Humans, eh? And I AM one! We’re a weird bunch – not surprised you have trouble decoding us. Sorry to hear that Own Goddess is not well. Kiss her a lick, or a paw or something on my behalf. xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
It had a spikey thing on the end. Don’t do spikey things. And after all that do I get a walk? No. She says we’re having a bath instead. Now, I’m hoping that ‘we’ is just a figure of speech…. 😉 xxx
LikeLike
That is one unattractive alien! Having nonstop sentry duty is tough. With two, everything is amplified. 🙂
LikeLike
Eric, once upon a time, there were sixteen red setters… 🙂
But this one is enough!
LikeLike
Yikes! Unleash the hounds. A river of flowing red. 🙂 Three at once is the most we’ve have. And I imagine what’s 16 if you can handle three? As long as one has the land for them to romp…
LikeLike
We didn’t 🙂 Mum decided on a litter all on her own… we had her and her son and daughter as adults, when she prouced 13 pups.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ani is so cute. I had a fly in the house I sure could have used Ani for though last night! lol
LikeLike
She would have obliged, Alesia… and kept you laughing as she chased it too 🙂
LikeLike
you do the best you can with her ani, but she has some learnin’ to do! )
LikeLike
I know, Beth but then she’s only human 😉
Much love,
Ani x
LikeLike
Dear Ani,
Please coax your human to get better! a really good way to do that would be lots of snuggly doggie kisses…
LikeLike
Hey Darcy!
Personally, I think she should get out more… lots of long walks in the fresh air would do her the world of good 😉
Much love, Ani x
LikeLike
How brave of you! That alien is terrifying!! You would have been a wonderful defender of the Wolfie den for the last two weeks to capture and destroy the HUGE lol Vampire Bugs that finally made their blood sucking presence known in an invasion of the Wolfie den 🙂 It was a skin crawling nightmare…the den is very clean, but they don’t care about the environment…I think you would have loved these disgusting alien Vampiristic monstronsities Ani!!! 🙂
LikeLike
Not so sure about that… one alien was enough to deal with… huge vampire Bugs sound even worse….!!
I hope Wolfie got ’em sorted though!
🙂
Much love, Ani xxx
LikeLike
Pingback: Notes from a small dog XLIII | homethoughtsfromabroad626