I want to introduce you to my pal Jumble. He’s a handsome lad, don’t you think? … We’ve been corresponding for ages…. these ‘puter things have their uses… but I’d really like to meet him one of these days… His Goddess is Alienora Taylor, author of Long Leggety Beasties which always makes my, erm Goddess laugh…

No, I can’t do it… ‘Goddess’…. hehehe… mine is more of an organic tennis ball thrower than a deity….though there are some heavenly smells coming from my bowl…..I shall investigate… then I have a post to write for Jumble….

Much love,

Ani xxx

Jumdel and the Butter 

I are much sicky dog. Making small in bed under table. God very angry, bright red in face and shouty.

Big God, he stumps down stairs at undogly hour.  Black blanket still spread over sky; even birdies shutting their noisy little beaks.

I watches God. He puts deliciousnesses on big table for Godlet. Smells run off table into Judmel bed, yum yum, all piggy meaty and eggy and not so good nasty stuff they call cough-ee. Sounds like it too. They drinks and makes noises like upchucking all over shop. Tried it once; burnt tongue and felt slippy slidey sharp poison go down throat – squealed and pawed mouth.

God opens back door, like usual and say, ‘Out!’ word.

Not like.

Need to ‘mune with naychuh (cock leg plenty much), but cold and wet and rainy stuff coming down, shiver, shiver…

God, he go back up to ‘Uman  be-droom, and thing he call ‘puter. Tap, tap, tap, sound like woodpecker  on heap big tree, waste of time you ask me!

Aha! Goddess move guinea pig run! Goodie! Jumleb eat piglet doings. Little snack for good dogs! Pee on cage to leave message. Pigs thick as bricks. Never read notes I leave. Keep trying though. Tell them, ‘Top of morning wee to you, oh teeny little cavies, bit less of the carrot next time if don’t mind – spoils taste!’

Grrrr! Next door hound been in AGAIN. Left pile near compost. Sniff, sniff. Hmmm! Meaty Chunks, if I not ‘staken.

Wag tail at rats in shed.

‘Lo, rats!’ say I. ‘Wanna play chase and kill?’

Got one once. Well proud of self. Carried in mouth up to ‘servatory. Goddess screamed and jumped on chair. What her problem, eh? Thing DEAD! Not gonna bite silly moo.

Back in kitchen. All quiet. Dark. Smells strong as bang on head with shovel.

Must ‘vestigate…

Ooh! Fry degg. Ahhhh! Bay Cun! Toast!

Better not. Godlet won’t like…

This more like it: big pat of stuff called Butter. Small God not like. Won’t notice…

No one around.

Up. Head over table. Grab.

Back to bed.

How you get out of wrapper thing, then?

Teeth to the rescue…

Crackle, slurp, lick…

Not sure ‘bout this. Smell like cow teats gone off. Not nice.

Hurty tummy. Nasty noises like gas ‘scaping from big pipe. Feeling odd…

Ruuuuuuttttthhhhhh…

Ah! Better out than in!

Oops, thud thud thud on stairs. God! Help! Hide! Where hedge outside when need one?

Oh no, lights on. Curl up smallest.

‘Jumble!’

He seen it. He plenty much furious.

‘Come HERE!’

Uh oh…