There comes a time in the life of every sofa when you look at it speculatively and think in terms of possibilities. In this case the terms were simple…disembowelment or retirement.
To be fair, it was cheap, second hand and I’ve had my money’s worth. Well, Ani has… I seldom sit on the thing unless I’m ill.
Not that there is a great deal wrong with it… other than the fact I have a sofa-loving black-haired dog who took possession of it without so much as a by-your-leave. And it is a pale sofa. What was I thinking? Ah yes… cheap, that was it…
So, as retirement means replacement…which is not on the cards and certainly not in the budget…disembowelment was the only realistic option. I wrestled the covers off… wilfully disregarding the ‘dry clean only’ label. It took a while… shucking the cushions out of their over-tight skins …they have obviously never been off before…The arms I will tackle with a wet cloth, but the covers are headed for the washing machine and a tense hour waiting to see what … if anything… comes out.
I have appalling memories of the day my ex, in helpful mode, washed my beautiful chenille throws on a boil wash… the bald, transparent remnants awaited me on the washing line when I came home from work… flapping mournfully in the breeze and looking rather like mouse-coloured net curtains. Instead of being decently interred in the bin. The pile, which should have clung to warp and weft with velvet luxuriance was firmly wedged in every orifice, every nook and cranny of the washing machine’s mechanism.
At best I am dreaming of lavender scented, rather than a dog fragranced set of covers, resplendently pale and ready for madam to lounge all over again. While she glares at me. At worst, it won’t be the first time I have had to reupholster furniture…though I had hoped the last time was the last…At the very worst, I trawl ebay for a new sofa.
I dream of leather sofas. I like leather sofas. I have fond and enduring memories of leather sofas.
But I have nightmares about a certain small dog’s claws as she uses it as a launch pad…My own hide has suffered enough from that! And though I hope leather is tougher, it would be an expensive experiment if I was wrong….
So, having considered the problem from all angles, I chose to throw my cap over the windmill and the covers in hot water. And now sit biting my nails.. . not literally, you understand, newly painted as Ani pointed out earlier…awaiting the outcome. Or the remains.
The sofa-hogging small dog is not entirely pleased with this. I’m not entirely sure she has forgiven me for disposing of the last one…
Sometimes it is all we can do when faced with a situation where the outcome is in doubt. ..weigh it up, make a decision and go for it, keeping in mind that the ultimate outcome will bring its own benefits, regardless of what happens on the way to that destination or how much fluff gets stuck in the mechanism.
You can call it hope. You can call it optimism. You can worry at a problem till you are blue in the face and argue with yourself about the options and possibilities, talking yourself in, and out, of excuses and avoidances until the proverbial cows come home. But at some point inevitability sets in and you have to act. The rest, really, is just ‘sofistry’.
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
‘Sofistry’!!! Love it, Sue; love the whole thing actually – very funny and sweet! xxx
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Thanks, Ali. I now await developments. Shrinkage. Disintegration… 🙂 xxx
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Ye gods, Sue, what a metaphor for life, especially female life: shrinkage or disintegration! Excellent! I shall look forward to the next instalment! xxx
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I knew you’d get it 🙂
Well.. they have survived.. whether I can coax them back into shape and onto the cushions remains to be seen… xxxx
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Good oh! Bated breath time as you go to battle with the buggers! Best of luck! Take no prisoners! xxx
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*chuckles* They adorn the washing line, taunting me with the unanswered question… if fabric shrinks in water, why can’t we? xxx
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Bloody good point. Pass me a tin bath and stand clear! xxx
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*chortles* Move over…I’l join you.. as long as the shrinkage isn’t vertical! xxx
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my girls loves ‘her’ couch. her father let her have the bed and the couch. when he passed away last year, she came to live with myself and her brothers – we lost our couch. I have yet to relent on the bed – only when the big bad boom booms strike (lightning and thunder). She has, however, taken over my younger son’s bed – which he loves.
I have lots of sheets to place on my couch. I rotate them. She also has her father’s pillow and Mexican wool knit blanket. He had washed it before he died and I have yet to wash it. She loves it.
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Oh that’s lovely.
My girls used to sleep with my youngest son… and they were not small dogs! Ani, however, doesn’t sleep upstairs.. mainly because if she does, I don’t 🙂 She protects me and barks at every noise.. and snores the rest of the time.
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If Pee slept with me, she sleeps in the middle of the bed and she runs marathons – all night. How Peyton can sleep with her in a twin sized bed is beyond my comprehension. She is not small – 55lbs – 1/2 German Shepard and 1/2 Akita.
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My two were Irish setter/flatcoat cross and a greyhound cross.. all three… dogs and son.. about six foot in length when stretched out.. and all on the single bed.. with my son having the least room.
🙂
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I know the challenges of dog hair and dog wear! Good luck with your experiment—and may the pillows be easier to put back in the covers than they were to take out.
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And I only have the one! Not your current four!
I am about to attempt it.. fingers crossed they didn’t shrink 🙂
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Let me tell you: Guinness and George are shedding machines. Together they could make an Ani every day with their copious amounts of fur.
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*chuckles* There are just some dogs like that… and days when poodles have their attraction 🙂
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Every time I pull out the vacuum…which truthfully should be more often than once a week.
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Daily here.. and it is still covered in a perpetual film of Ani 🙂
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Good luck with the shrinkage! I have two cats – and my couch has never been the same. We use slipcovers and lots of sheets (although I’m not sure if it’s to protect the couch from the cats or the child)!
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I gave up on the covers.. Ani found them too much fun when I was out.But… I seem to have won this particular round 🙂 For now…
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A real conundrum! I also lust after furniture devoid of cat scratch fever … and, good gosh, I forgot about the leaping from couch to floor that can take a real toll. I also would love to have a leather couch. It is the jump frogging about that holds me back. Hope your couch covers come out OK.
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I have clean covers 🙂 And.. after some mighty wrestling.. they fit 🙂
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