He heard me scream, I heard him curse,
I lay there thinking, ‘Could be worse’,
My dripping son looked pale and white…
I guess I must have looked a sight
Laid out upon his kitchen floor
Beneath the broken cupboard door.
I’d climbed, you see, to reach the shelf…
My stature will not stretch itself
To reach so high without a boost,
So, like a pigeon gone to roost,
Precarious, I’d perched on high…
And, found that like a bird, I fly.
The chair upon whose seat I stood
Had wheels… and it’s all well and good
To wedge the thing against the wall,
Preventing any risk of fall
By clinging to the cupboard door…
If it’s not screwed on anymore.
The chair slid out, I grasped and clung,
And from my perch was soundly flung,
The door still held within my hand
And wondering on what I’d land.
I soon found out, as head and back
Hit bottom with resounding thwack.
I lay there hoping it would prove
A possibility to move,
My son appeared, a hasty drape
And shampoo dripping down his nape,
He’d heard me crash with awful power
Despite radio and shower.
“I thought the wall had fallen down!”
Said he, with such a worried frown.
“You should not climb when I’m not there
To hold the ruddy kitchen chair!”
All my expletives stayed unspoken
While I checked if bones were broken.
Now, hobbits may not bounce, it’s true,
But though I may be black and blue,
And several rainbow colours more,
The only breakage was the door.
So, telling me to stay put, seated,
Towel-draped, my son retreated.
Maybe half an hour after,
From my son the sound of laughter…
Me, I’m perched upon the stool
Equipped with filler-gun and tool.
For once I’d got up from the floor
I’d thought I should rehang the door…
My son, with twisted humour thought
A hobbit of my age-group ought,
After a fall from such a height
To give up after such a fright…
But, knowing that I’d ache next day,
I’d get the job out of the way.
Now night draws in, it’s getting late,
A hobbit with a zombie gait
Whose multicoloured skin is sore,
Whose head’s not working anymore,
In need of Epsom Salted bath
Is aching way too much to laugh.
Too many bits had hit the deck
And I’ll admit, I feel a wreck.
The lesson’s clear, so here’s the deal…
Please, never stand on chairs with wheels.
And, for myself, a moral found…
There are much better ways to ‘ground’.
Good Lord, Sue, PLEEZE be careful! You really make it tough for your Guardian Angels! Hope you heal well and soon. ❤
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Almost entirely my own fault, Eliza. I’m just grateful for the bit of padding these days 😉
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Great verse Sue, hope you’re not too sore.
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Oh I am…but I’m dreading tomorrow morning 😉
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Take care Sue.
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I’m having to. Remember how the Woodentops walked? 😀
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My favourite Watch with Mother. My friend and I walked up to the bus stop dressed in our best finery for a party doing Spotty Dog impressions. The bus driver thought we were drunk!
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‘…and the biggest spotty dog in aaall the world’ 😉 I remember it well. 😀
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hehe. Happy memories. 🙂
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😀 Indeed they are…
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Ouch! Sorry, but I did laugh. I hope you recover well and remain firmly earthbound unless someone is there to hold your chair.
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I don’t think I’ll dare laugh for a day or two myself 😉
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Very funny piece. Glad that it wasn’t worse. 🙂
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So am I, Jo 😉
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Poor you, Sue. A brilliant poem but at what cost?! I bet you keep finding new bruises…Ouch. xx
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I’m plastered in arnica tonight, so I am sure the bruises will appear 😉 x
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Oh no, Sue. I’m vertically challenged too and can be found kneeling on the counter to reach the top shelves. But rolling chairs??! No no no. You must get yourself a folding stool. I hope you’re feeling a little better.
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I have one… and a stepladder… but the builders seem to have purloined them…hence the chair. Being vertically challenged does have its drawbacks 😉
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That’s a real bummer. But be careful in future. I have stopped stepping on anything higher than six inches. It’s too dangerous.
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In more ways than one 😉 I don’t have that choice really… half my son’s home is out of reach.
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Then you should invest in a stable and small step ladder. If something happens to you, then all the family will be in trouble, including us! Take care.
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I have one, but the builders ‘borrowed’ it…
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🧐😒
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Hope the Epsom Salt bath helped! I am vertically challenged too so have something in almost every room to help me reach the high places learned that flying is okay but the landing is hard on the body padding and all.
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Groaning a fair bit this morning…
I agree, Dyanna, it is the landing that’s the hard part 😉
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Ohh Sue, in the blink of an eye! Sending you healing energy ❤ Great poem, but ouch… ❤
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Thanks, Jane. ..I need it this morning 😉 x
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I can feel your soreness ❤ ❤
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So can I ; x
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I still climb up ladders and balance in unsuitable places, much to my family’s disapproval. They seem to think I am too old for all that now… I do hope the arnica takes some of the pain out of your bruises!
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Too old? Ha! Not until you feel it…
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Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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Thanks for sharing, Jaye x
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Oh dear Sue hope you’re ok, although forgive me for smiling. Loved this, very well written! 👏
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I admit to not feeling great today… and the bruises are coming on nicely. But I couldn’t help laughing at my own stupidity 😉
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Always a good sign of character when you can laugh at yourself 😂
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Not much choice under the circumstances 😉
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Oh, no!! Glad to know I’m not the only boo-boo queen. Hope you are okay, Sue.
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Still walking like a multihued zombie, Jennie 😉
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I bet you are. 😥
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Could be worse.
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Definitely!
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Bloody ouch!!! … hope you’re not quite as done in by now. 🙂
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Six am Sunday…and apparently I’m still stiff 😉
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I don’t suppose there are any natural hot springs near you? A nice hot soak sounds like it’s in order. 🙂
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No… but the bathtub is getting some use 😉
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