I always hate this bit. With all the nice things to eat that you two-legses will be making for Christmas, and the whole spirit of sharing, Christmas can be a wonderful time for pets. Trouble is, most of the things we would like to eat, we can’t. Or, if we can, we can’t have anywhere near as much as we would like.
Take turkey, for instance. Really nice…and good for us too… but only if you cook it without anything added… no oils, butter, and definitely no stuffing…and we shouldn’t have much at once either. (We won’t mention the ‘borrowed’ turkey episode…)
Chocolate. We almost all love chocolate. Not allowed. No nuts. No fruitcake or mince pies. Nothing with onions. No gorgeous, greasy sausages and bacon. We shouldn’t really have ham either, becuse it is salty. (We won’t mention the ‘borrowed’ ham episode either…).
And, in the interests of interspecies cooperation (and if I can’t have stuff, I don’t see why a cat should) I feel obliged to mention that all those things dogs shouldn’t have? Cats can’t have them either.
Mind you, I imagine their are a few of my four-legged and feathered friends around who just wish we would all go vegetarian about now…
Talking Turkey
D. Wallace Peach
While the old birds shopped for Christmas presents, Felix and Mort made their annual Black Friday visit to the local tavern to plan Christmas dinner. They’d taken charge of the cooking years ago, and ever since the first year – when they’d admittedly ruffled a few feathers – the girls happily left them to it.
They poured over recipes and shared reviews while Phil, the barkeep, kept the bourbon flowing. Felix spread out his clippings and arranged them into piles. “Time to talk turkey.”
Phil leaned on the bar. “Having turkey this year?”
“Goodness no!” Mort shook his head so hard his chin wobbled. “Goose! We always recommend goose.”
Phil raised an eyebrow. “What about Christmas traditions?”
“I’ll have you know, goose has a very long history,” Felix said and searched for the magazine article. “All the way back to the ancient Egyptians. Did you know that Marco Polo reported seeing geese in China? And Queen Elizabeth ordered that goose be served every Michaelmas in honor of her victory over the Spanish Armada.”
“But what about Ben Franklin?” the barkeep pointed out. “He was a big fan of turkey.”
“A turkey if there ever was one.” The two cooks laughed. “He should have stopped at electricity.”
“Nothing beats goose,” Mort said. “Goose fat has a far better flavor than peanut oil. Some people even save it for cooking. Did you know you can buy pure goose fat on Amazon?”
Phil shook his head. “My wife hates all the grease.”
“Aah…” Felix said, taking Phil under his wing. “But everything about roasted goose tops turkey. The skin is crispy. A goose is juicier than a turkey, and its dark, succulent flesh has a distinctive rich flavor all of its own, with just the right amount of gaminess. Most importantly, the meat isn’t dry; it flakes off the bone.”
Mort’s beady eyes turned dreamy. “Alongside the golden goose, I’m thinking airy potato dumplings, red cabbage, and a baked apple with lingonberries. And apple-sausage stuffing.”
“And liver paté,” Felix added, waving a recipe like a flag.
Mort started sifting through the piles. “Shredded confit! Or we can pack the meat into pastries for deep-fried goose spring rolls.”
Phil replenished their bourbon and slid a recipe from the pile nearest him. “Goose crown pink with celeriac and cranberries. I don’t even know what that means, but it sounds good.”
Felix sighed. “We need to make a decision and get our ducks in a row. How about classic orange and thyme-scented goose? With all Mort’s fixings.”
“Sounds perfect.” Mort beamed. “We should slow-roast for 4-5 hours at 120C. We’ll still get crispy skin, but the breast will stay tender. Then for the last half hour, we’ll turn the temperature up to 220C.”
“You’ve convinced me,” Phil said, topping off their glasses. “I’m trying goose this year.”
“Your wife will love it.” Felix grinned and swayed on his perch. “Oh, my. I’m feeling loose as a goose!” He rested a wing on the bar, holding himself up.
Phil helped them gather up their recipes. “Time for you two turkeys to head home or your gals are going to cook your gooses.”
With a laugh, the two strutted from the bar, waddles wagging and tail feathers fanned. “We did it,” Felix chortled. “Another successful convert.”
“It was easy.” Mort danced a little turkey trot. “He was a sitting duck.”
Find and Follow Diana
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About the author
D. Wallace Peach started writing later in life after the kids were grown and a move left her with hours to fill. Years of working in business surrendered to a full-time indulgence in the imaginative world of books, and when she started writing, she was instantly hooked. Diana lives in a log cabin amongst the tall evergreens and emerald moss of Oregon’s Coastal Mountains with her husband, two dogs, and Pinky the Cat.
Find all Diana’s books on Amazon
The Rose Shield Tetralogy:
An Invitation from the Small Dog
If you would like to help Ani make her advent calendar this year, send your letters to Santa, festive memories, short stories, flash fiction or poems to the Small Dog. She will post them every day through December until Christmas…and there are still spaces left!
She would especially like to hear from her four-legged or feathered friends (she has a special place very close to her heart for turkeys)… but she says that two-legs are better than none, so she will accept submissions from humans too (and even no-legs if there is the odd literary snake out there…). To get in touch, please use the form on the contact page or email Ani at findme@scvincent.com
You know is what Ani, every day, the little two legses get excited about this box… With chocolate in…
So I join in… And my mummy two legs gets a box for me! I don’t think it’s chocolate… But whatever I get to eat… It is Yum!!!
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Thanks for stopping by to check out Ani’s wise advice and the story, Ritu. Have a wonderful weekend!
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You too 😍
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I always think the thing where they won’t give us a lot of what they eat isn’t fair. To make matters worse, Mummy is a vegetarian, so she doesn’t even have any meat. I tried telling them that should mean more for me, but they just won’t listen. Lots of licks, Lilie
P.S. me and Mummy liked the story. Though Mummy now kind of feels sorry for the geese, because she’s like that.
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I’m glad you enjoyed the story, Victoria, and yes, the goose got the fowl end of that deal. 🙂 Thanks for reading.
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Thanks so much, Ani and Sue for sharing my story, and for the update on foods that aren’t healthy for pups. Honey and Lulu are going to have to stick with turkey and skip the dessert! 🙂
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Ani will have dessert… but will probably go for the cheese board 😉
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Reblogged this on Myths of the Mirror and commented:
I’m fowling around with Ani and her four-legged, Sue Vincent, today with a short story called Talking Turkey. Ani also shares some tips on foods that aren’t safe for dogs. 🙂 Hope to see you there.
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Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog.
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Thanks for sharing, Chris! 🙂
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Welcome Diana ❤
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LOL! A cute story. So much we can’t give our fur babies. I didn’t know about the yeast products like bread.
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Thanks for reading, Darlene. I didn’t know about the yeast-products either. My dogs are looking at me with sad eyes, but mostly about the ham. 🙂 Have a lovely Friday.
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I have never eaten goose. But then, Mort and Felix are safe from me as I don’t eat turkey either. Funny story. I like all of the side bird references…
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Thanks so much for reading, Trent. I had a lot of fun looking up “turkey, goose, and duck” cliches and phrases and then working them in. I’m glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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A delightful tale Diana, thanks for the heads up on what not to give doggie. ♥️
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Thanks for the visit, Holly. Poor pups can’t enjoy sugar, salt, and muffins. Of course, neither should we. Lol. I’m glad you enjoyed the story, and Ani’s heads-up. 🙂 Have a wonderful weekend!
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My poor pup has had IBS since I got him, can’t eat anything but Royal Canin, bleh! Thanks for the great post , 🙂
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This was wonderful. I knew a lot of these rules but not all. Last night, my dog ate my salmon dinner (well, I dropped it and he swallowed it before it even hit the floor). I didn’t know dogs liked salmon.
Fun, Diana!
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We occasionally refer to one of our dogs as a “great white,” Jacqui. She’s so fast! I’m sorry you lost your salmon dinner, though. Thanks for stopping by to read. Have a great day. 🙂
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Clever way of educating us about what dogs can and can’t eat. And I love the goose tale. You might have another convert!
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Thanks for stopping by, Brad. 🙂 Ani is very cute about warning us unhealthy foods for our four-legged friends. And, yes, give goose a try! Ha ha. Mort and Felix will be thrilled! Have a great weekend!
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Ha, ha. Say hi to the gaggle! 🙂
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You made me laugh, Diana. And now my mouth is watering for a full course Christmas goose dinner! I had a bunch of turkeys 🦃 in my backyard yesterday. I couldn’t quite make out what they were ‘waving like a flag.’ But now I know it was a recipe for goose liver pate.
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Hee hee. I’m glad I got a laugh from you, Molly. Those turkeys are on a marketing rampage this time of year about the wonderful flavor of goose. Thanks for stopping by to read the story and Happy Weekend!
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hmmmm. that made me hungry.
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Thanks so much for stopping by, Jina. Somehow I missed your comment! The story made me hungry too. I asked my husband to get a goose for Christmas, but the turkey’s already in the freezer. Happy Holidays, my friend. ❤
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To you as well.
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Very funny and clever Diana! I can really imagine the different birds trying to convert meat eaters to any other bird except them – even the animals could join in that bandwagon 🙂
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Thanks for reading, Pauline. I had a lot of fun with this story – popping all the cliches in there. Mort and Felix might have convinced a few people to try goose this year, but I heard the geese are recommending duck. 😀 Have a great week, my friend, and sorry for the late reply – this one slipped by me. ❤
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I made the mistake of feeding my little Mexican chihuahua grapes- he loved them. It wasn’t until after he passed away that I learned how dangerous this was. Now, my pets get their food only, safer that way.
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Oh Jacquie, I’m so sorry to hear that. But I totally get it. Who would think that grapes are so bad for them? Many thanks for Ani for filling us all in. Wishing you a wonderful evening and Happy Weekend.
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Ani would eat all the chocolate she could get… you have to be so careful with them.
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Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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Thanks so much for sharing Ani’s wise advice and the Talking Turkey story. Glad you enjoyed it! Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂
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You too, Diana…
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Cute story with great tips on what not to feed those fur babies… ::0 Sharing!
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Thank you, Bette. I’m glad you enjoyed the story, as well as the food reminders from Ani. Now we can all have a safe happy holiday… except maybe for the goose. 🙂 Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂
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❤ xo
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Thanks, Bette 🙂
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Diana, I’m hungry now and smiling…what a lovely tale, thank you to Ani and her Advent calendar, I enjoyed the read!
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Thanks for stopping by, Kim. I hope you’re well and enjoying your December. I went a little silly with the story, but it was great fun to look up all the goose and turkey cliches. And Ani’s Advent Calendar posts have been charming. A talented dog. 🙂
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I’ll have to indulge in some more of her posts before Christmas, Diana…I’m still smiling!
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Talking turkeys are so cute! Thanks for sharing their story, so different!
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Thank you for stopping by, Balroop. The old turkeys are rather enthusiastic about cooking a Christmas goose! I’m glad you enjoyed the story. 🙂 It’s been a pleasure to be here helping Ani celebrate the season. Have a lovely day, my friend. ❤
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LOL! What a great story, Diana! And I didn’t realize there were so many ways to cook goose (even if the ideas came from turkeys 😀 ) Fun!
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Thanks, Julie. The story popped into my head, and I took a couple hours off NaNo to write it down. It was fun looking up all the cliches and phrases and working those in. Have a lovely weekend and Happy Writing!
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What a delight! I loved Diana’s story — and Ani’s part of the post was marvelous too. Hugs on the wing!
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Thanks so much, Teagan. Glad you enjoyed my talking turkeys. 🙂 They don’t glow like your piglets, but they do cook! Hugs back at you.
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Hah! 😀 … brilliant story! 😀
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Thanks. It was so fun to write. I love going on the lighter side and working all the cliches and common phrases in. Have a great weekend!
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Loved Diana’s story. And loved your infogram Ani, on what not to feed you. ❤ Hugs everyone!
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Thanks for the visit, Debby. Ani’s infogram was very informative and I learned something too. And I’m so glad you enjoyed the silly story. 🙂 Enjoy the coming festivities and Happy Writing. 🙂
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Thanks you Diana. Happy writing and Season’s Greetings. 🙂 xx
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Ani was not happy about having to admit there were things she couldn’t eat 😉 ❤
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I know that was a huge task for her. 🙂 ❤
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You can imagine 😉 xx
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Lol 🙂 xx
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Loved the Story, Diana!
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Thanks, Jennie. I appreciate the visit. Have a wonderful Sunday and Happy Holidays. 🙂
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When I was growing up, my mom had a dog who loved M&Ms – she gave then to him every day. That was before the days of internet and warnings about not giving dogs chocolate. It’s a wonder Trapper lived as long as he did. Cute story, Diana – the turkeys thank you!
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There is a wight of dog to chocolate ratio that is supposedly safe. As to onions… most of the dogs had any leftovers, with or without them before the internet, with no noticeable harm done…. but these days, I would be more careful.
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Thanks for reading, Teri. The turkeys are welcome, though I do have one of them in my freezer, poor thing. Hope you have a fabulous holiday with plenty of good eats. 🙂
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