I must do the floor, I thought, in some despair,
The small dog is moulting,and shedding her hair.
She’s out in the garden, so if I am quick,
And just whip the vac out, that should do the trick.
She’s already cross because out in the garden
I got out the lawnmower, let my heart harden,
So into the hallway she wandered off sighing,
(This dog is a drama queen) huffing and crying.
As soon as I’d finished she came out exploring
(And showed me my place with some pointed ignoring),
It is quite ironic, her coming on strong,
‘Cause she hates walking on the wet grass when it’s long.
She wandered back in with cut grass on her feet…
She couldn’t care less about keeping things neat…
So I got the hoover from where it was lurking
To set about doing much-needed houseworking.
There’s hair on the carpet and hair on the chair,
That silky-fine dog hair that gets everywhere,
I hoover it up every day, but in vain,
For in moulting season, it’s really a pain.
But halfway through hoovering, I hit a bump,
Where I was quite certain there wasn’t a lump.
It caught me off-balance, it was unexpected,
The floor and my anatomy soon connected.
Where the carpet has lain all this while nice and flat…
Was a lump, and I ought to investigate that…
I couldn’t imagine what creature might be there,
And was fairly worried about what I’d see there…
I swear I heard laughter from out in the hall
As I dug from the rug her preferred tennis ball.
Quite how she had got it there, I’ll never know
Because under the rug’s not where tennis balls go.
“O writer,” the small dog informed me at once,
“It went there with ease, must you be such a dunce?”
“But why, small dog, tell me, why bury the ball?”
“‘Cause I can’t protect it from here in the hall!”
She does hate the hoover, it’s always upset her,
She calls it a monster and thinks it will get her.
“That monster sucks everything right up its snout…
Do you think I would risk leaving tennis balls out?”
Not only was I feeling bruised now and aching,
I’m sure that the laughing dog’s shoulders were shaking.
She looked at me kindly, “You should take more care…”
She said, “Oh, and you realise, you’re covered in hair…”
Ah, it sounds like home! Every day, Garry gets the broom and knocks the balls from under the coffee table. This morning there were six of them. Between the living room and the yard, there must be two dozen of them. Maybe more. And the hair OH the hair and the falling oak pollen and the MUD. Dawgz Can’t live with’em … wouldn’t want to live without’em.
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I only have the one, sadly, though she has as many tennis balls as your three…and probably sheds as much hair. But I wouldn’t be without her…
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Ani in classic fine form!
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She does keep me …well, not sane exactly, but laughing 🙂
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Ani is doing her best to keep life interesting for you. I sympathize, I have two Huskies and they are shedding so I have stopped putting the vacuum away as it is needed at least 3 times a day.
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The spring moult is he worst… I hoover once, but sweep a couple of times too and thank all the gods for hard floors 😉
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I have carpet so it is the vacuum for me for at least the next 3 weeks.
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Ididn’t fancy the had floors when I moved here, but I am so glad of them now.
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I don’t know Sue, the view of dog hair rolling across the floor like tumbleweeds and me chasing it with a broom is not doing it for me.
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I have a microfibre pad on the end of a flat mop… two minutes and it is all respectable again… for two minutes 😉
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Yes those few moments without dog hair are wonderful!
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They never last… but the alternative would not please me 😉
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Oh!Sue, sorry you fell over the tennis ball I hope you are okay. I have both those problems! Ruby has loads of beloved tennis balls in the house and garden! Also like Ani she is molting… I can hoover up to three times a day! Also like Ani she is oblivious to what she brings in on her paws! Ruby is not at all worried by the hoover monster it a nightmare getting her to move. I do hope you are well and not too bruised after your fall. 💜
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Between Ani, the pond, and the start of hot-air ballon season, the ball is the least of my worries 😉
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Huuuum yes indeed 💜
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🙂
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💜
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Reblogged this on anita dawes and jaye marie.
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Thank you, Jaye x
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The two of you are bloody hilarious! Quite cheered me up, you have…
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Sounds like you need cheering up too, after the gardening…
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Right now, I’ll settle for a painkiller that works!
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They don’t seem to do a great deal, do they, unfortunately.
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I am finding more relief from the ibuprofen gel!
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I’ve never had much luck with that either.
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Most of them don’t seem to work, but Voltarol gives me some relief. It’s not sticky either!
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I may have to try that.
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Oh sweet Ani!
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😀
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Yes how do they do that! Mylo will even join the cats in the utility if the vac is going
Now that’s desperate.
Btw your poems and esp the structures are great. I’m stuck in the iambic pentameter gear however hard I try…
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Cats? That is one brave dog… in spite of the vac…
If iambic pentameter was good enough for the Bard 😉
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He he, Ani, you did a surprise give her. I did too this morning. Turned over the bag where my wet toys were drying and brought it to my two legs all happy and panting. Never once did she think, where did you get this? So I was called “a good boy,” and patted on the head. Much paw love, Dante Dawg. xxx
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They don’t see what’s under their noses sometimes, Dante…and as for using them, they only sniff flowers and tell us we need a bath 😉 xxx
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True words, ANi. xxx
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🙂 xx
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Oh, Ani! You are so clever and sweet. But that dreaded vacuum cleaner will get to you every time. Dot is afraid of ladders and wheelbarrows. Go figure!!
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Skateboards. I dont do skateboards. It’s the noise, you know…they growl. That’s probbably why Dot doesn’t like wheelbarrows x
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hahahahaha
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😀
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Hilarious!
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😀
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Oh, that nasty Hoover. Given a chance it might eat the special ball, so it had to be hidden.
Ani, take care, what with shedding and cut grass (that other monster machine),
Two-legs have been known (with special attachments) to use the Hoover
To collect the sheddings and such directly from the off a dog,
Or even a cat (which you might find amusing),
But you can take some comfort because the dreaded bath
Is probably out of the question as hair tends to clog the drain.
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She says that one of my predecessors actually liked being hoovered! I can’t imagine that at all… and anyway, she can’t run that fast 😉
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There’s no accounting for tastes. LOL
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Heh 😀
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Reblogged this on Viv Drewa – The Owl Lady.
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Thank you, Viv 🙂 xxx
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Oh, Ani, I love your poetry!
Hugz on owl wings! @v@ ❤
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Hugs right back 🙂 xxx
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Well done Ani! Lol
You are not small, only your legs are too short. And you need another hairstyle too. Ever considered a perm? 😉 Michael
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My legs are not too short … I’m nearly as tall as her when I stand on the hind legs… I’m only relatively small …as in, relative to a Great Dane 😉
As to a perm, if it means she won’t want to bathe me…
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Lol The expression on Anis face is unbelievable! 😉
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She has a fabulous face 🙂
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Really! So intelligent. I think we should promote her to become a politican. 😉
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That would make for honest politics! She never schemes… she is quite frank in what she wants 🙂
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Like DJT? Lol
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That made me choke on my coffee 😉
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Ani, the First Dog of the United Kingdom, in short: FDUK.;-)
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She approves of that 😉
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Great! 😉 Have a nice Sunday! Michael
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You too, Michael 🙂
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Thank you Sue! 😉 Michael
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LOL Oh, how I love the small dog!
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Oddly enough (with all she delights in putting me through) so do I 🙂
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😀 That’s fabulous. Do hope you’re okay but thanks for the laugh.
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😀 … She does keep me alert 😉
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Reposted on Google.com. I loved this poem, for it is so like the crazy things my little tribe of dogs does. I have not given them balls, but believe me, they find plenty of things to trip us up.
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Thanks, Anne. I can imagine…they seem very good at keeping us on our toes 😉
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Oh, Ani! Never a dull moment with this one! 😉
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Never! There were three hot air balloons in her airspace last night…at once… 😦
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Oy! You must need ear mufflers. 😉
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I did…or a distraction for the dog 😉
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Very impressive ball-hiding, Ani. 😀
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I thought so 😉
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Haha! Love it!
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😀 Thanks, Tori 🙂
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Oh, Ani. Look at those big eyes.
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She’ll use them too 🙂
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🙂
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Ani has such an expressive face! I hope you’ve recovered from your fall, Sue. And brushed off the dog hair. We are buried in dog hair too. It’s that time of year. 🙂
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I’m fine, thanks, apart from a couple of bruises. But you are right… her face is just wonderful 🙂
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So it took all that and yet another lump to you but you finally found the prized ball! ❤
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Oh this is not the lost ball, but the new prized ball… which she hides dozens of times a day to keep me interested in finding it (?! 😀 ) and in th most surprising places.
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Ohhhhhhhhhh, that Ani is so sneaky. It’s like landmines for you when you fall and trip on them. Ani, mind where you’re hiding those balls, lol. 🙂 ❤
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You would not believe some of th eplaces she hides the darned thing! 😉 xxx
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I’m beginning to believe. LOL 🙂 xx
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😀 In the washing machine was the hardest to find… xx
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Lol, how did he get up there??? 🙂
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You would be surprised where she can get to 😉 xx
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Pingback: Writing Links…6/4/18 – Where Genres Collide
My bad, I mean ‘she’, Ani. 🙂
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😀
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Reblogged this on Have We Had Help? and commented:
More from Ani’s harassed human 😉
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So cute and funny! And that expression on An’s face, has she ever thought of taking up acting! Lol. x
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Ani is the dog with a million expressions, all of them sweet. Garfield commented that he also leaves hair everywhere, and its not his fault. He says he’s just too gorgeous not to clean himself constantly!
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
Oh Ani…that little black dog is full of tricks to keep Sue Vincent on her toes, and very nearly on her nose… how you can work with that little face and eyes staring at you, willing you to go out and play.. I do not know..
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I particularly like your rhyme of “lurking” and “much-needed houseworking.” When I lived with my sister last summer to help her pack up and move from CA to NY, I spent many hours sweeping and vacuuming the fine, silky hair her wonderful dog sheds each and every day — all year long. Hurrah that you were able to create an epic poem out of this humble task…
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It is a ceaseless task… but they are worth it. I wouldn’t be without my Ani 🙂
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