The small dog’s revenge…

I must do the floor, I thought, in some despair,
The small dog is moulting,and shedding her hair.
She’s out in the garden, so if I am quick,
And just whip the vac out, that should do the trick.

She’s already cross because out in the garden
I got out the lawnmower, let my heart harden,
So into the hallway she wandered off sighing,
(This dog is a drama queen) huffing and crying.

As soon as I’d finished she came out exploring
(And showed me my place with some pointed ignoring),
It is quite ironic, her coming on strong,
‘Cause she hates walking on the wet grass when it’s long.

She wandered back in with cut grass on her feet…
She couldn’t care less about keeping things neat…
So I got the hoover from where it was lurking
To set about doing much-needed houseworking.

There’s hair on the carpet and hair on the chair,
That silky-fine dog hair that gets everywhere,
I hoover it up every day, but in vain,
For in moulting season, it’s really a pain.

But halfway through hoovering, I hit a bump,
Where I was quite certain there wasn’t a lump.
It caught me off-balance, it was unexpected,
The floor and my anatomy soon connected.

Where the carpet has lain all this while nice and flat…
Was a lump, and I ought to investigate that…
I couldn’t imagine what creature might be there,
And was fairly worried about what I’d see there…

I swear I heard laughter from out in the hall
As I dug from the rug her preferred tennis ball.
Quite how she had got it there, I’ll never know
Because under the rug’s not where tennis balls go.

“O writer,” the small dog informed me at once,
“It went there with ease, must you be such a dunce?”
“But why, small dog, tell me, why bury the ball?”
“‘Cause I can’t protect it from here in the hall!”

She does hate the hoover, it’s always upset her,
She calls it a monster and thinks it will get her.
“That monster sucks everything right up its snout…
Do you think I would risk leaving tennis balls out?”

Not only was I feeling bruised now and aching,
I’m sure that the laughing dog’s shoulders were shaking.
She looked at me kindly, “You should take more care…”
She said, “Oh, and you realise, you’re covered in hair…”

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She has written a number of books, both alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com
This entry was posted in Dogs, Humour, Photography, Poetry and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

98 Responses to The small dog’s revenge…

  1. Ah, it sounds like home! Every day, Garry gets the broom and knocks the balls from under the coffee table. This morning there were six of them. Between the living room and the yard, there must be two dozen of them. Maybe more. And the hair OH the hair and the falling oak pollen and the MUD. Dawgz Can’t live with’em … wouldn’t want to live without’em.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. barbtaub says:

    Ani in classic fine form!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Ani is doing her best to keep life interesting for you. I sympathize, I have two Huskies and they are shedding so I have stopped putting the vacuum away as it is needed at least 3 times a day.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. willowdot21 says:

    Oh!Sue, sorry you fell over the tennis ball I hope you are okay. I have both those problems! Ruby has loads of beloved tennis balls in the house and garden! Also like Ani she is molting… I can hoover up to three times a day! Also like Ani she is oblivious to what she brings in on her paws! Ruby is not at all worried by the hoover monster it a nightmare getting her to move. I do hope you are well and not too bruised after your fall. πŸ’œ

    Liked by 2 people

  5. jenanita01 says:

    The two of you are bloody hilarious! Quite cheered me up, you have…

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Ritu says:

    Oh sweet Ani!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. TanGental says:

    Yes how do they do that! Mylo will even join the cats in the utility if the vac is going
    Now that’s desperate.
    Btw your poems and esp the structures are great. I’m stuck in the iambic pentameter gear however hard I try…

    Like

  8. Adele Marie says:

    He he, Ani, you did a surprise give her. I did too this morning. Turned over the bag where my wet toys were drying and brought it to my two legs all happy and panting. Never once did she think, where did you get this? So I was called “a good boy,” and patted on the head. Much paw love, Dante Dawg. xxx

    Like

  9. Darlene says:

    Oh, Ani! You are so clever and sweet. But that dreaded vacuum cleaner will get to you every time. Dot is afraid of ladders and wheelbarrows. Go figure!!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. ksbeth says:

    hahahahaha

    Like

  11. quiall says:

    Hilarious!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. bobcabkings says:

    Oh, that nasty Hoover. Given a chance it might eat the special ball, so it had to be hidden.
    Ani, take care, what with shedding and cut grass (that other monster machine),
    Two-legs have been known (with special attachments) to use the Hoover
    To collect the sheddings and such directly from the off a dog,
    Or even a cat (which you might find amusing),
    But you can take some comfort because the dreaded bath
    Is probably out of the question as hair tends to clog the drain.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. The Owl Lady says:

    Oh, Ani, I love your poetry!
    Hugz on owl wings! @v@ ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Well done Ani! Lol
    You are not small, only your legs are too short. And you need another hairstyle too. Ever considered a perm? πŸ˜‰ Michael

    Like

  15. Lyn Horner says:

    LOL Oh, how I love the small dog!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. πŸ˜€ That’s fabulous. Do hope you’re okay but thanks for the laugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Anne Copeland says:

    Reposted on Google.com. I loved this poem, for it is so like the crazy things my little tribe of dogs does. I have not given them balls, but believe me, they find plenty of things to trip us up.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Eliza Waters says:

    Oh, Ani! Never a dull moment with this one! πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Widdershins says:

    Very impressive ball-hiding, Ani. πŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Jennie says:

    Oh, Ani. Look at those big eyes.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Ani has such an expressive face! I hope you’ve recovered from your fall, Sue. And brushed off the dog hair. We are buried in dog hair too. It’s that time of year. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  22. dgkaye says:

    So it took all that and yet another lump to you but you finally found the prized ball! ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Pingback: Writing Links…6/4/18 – Where Genres Collide

  24. dgkaye says:

    My bad, I mean ‘she’, Ani. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Jack Eason says:

    Reblogged this on Have We Had Help? and commented:
    More from Ani’s harassed human πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

  26. So cute and funny! And that expression on An’s face, has she ever thought of taking up acting! Lol. x

    Liked by 1 person

  27. noelleg44 says:

    Ani is the dog with a million expressions, all of them sweet. Garfield commented that he also leaves hair everywhere, and its not his fault. He says he’s just too gorgeous not to clean himself constantly!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    Oh Ani…that little black dog is full of tricks to keep Sue Vincent on her toes, and very nearly on her nose… how you can work with that little face and eyes staring at you, willing you to go out and play.. I do not know..

    Liked by 2 people

  29. willedare says:

    I particularly like your rhyme of “lurking” and “much-needed houseworking.” When I lived with my sister last summer to help her pack up and move from CA to NY, I spent many hours sweeping and vacuuming the fine, silky hair her wonderful dog sheds each and every day β€” all year long. Hurrah that you were able to create an epic poem out of this humble task…

    Like

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