Guest author: D. G. Kaye – Twenty years after “I do”.

Posted on January 25, 2018 by Sue Vincent

Twenty Years: After "I Do": Reflections on Love and Changes Through Aging by [Kaye, D.G.]Thank you for having me over Sue to share a little about my newest book, Twenty Years: After “I Do” – Reflections on Love and Changes Through Aging, which was released in December 2017.

This memoir touches on various aspects of situations that occur and change as the years went by in my marriage to a man 21 years my senior. I wrote the book around the title as opposed to writing a book and then wondering what it should be titled. And in the book, readers will soon learn why I chose the title.

Even going into marriage knowing that down the road there will inevitably be obstacles to endure and hopefully overcome, my eyes were wide open and heart full, enough to make me accept whatever challenges would come our way as the years ensued . . . and they did. And in this book, I bring to light some of the things that I encountered and how I dealt with them and how my marriage still managed to thrive with keeping with the foundations the marriage was built on and never taking any of those elements for granted – love, communication, compassion and laughter.

Excerpt from Twenty Years: After “I Do” by D.G. Kaye

To the Moon with Laughter

What would life be without laughter? I don’t think I’d even want to know the answer to that question, because only with laughter have I been able to get through many of life’s challenges. I could quote off a list of clichés about laughter, such as “Laughter is the best medicine”—but the fact is that it’s true. Laughter is good medicine. Every good belly laugh allows our bodies to take in more oxygen and creates endorphins, which prompt the enjoyment we receive from humor and lift our entire wellbeing. Besides being a great health benefit to our souls, lungs, and state of mind, laughter can provide comic relief in those moments that sometimes aren’t so humorous.

Based on all my relationships, I can attest to the fact that injecting humor in conversation when appropriate can take the edge off more serious circumstances. A healthy relationship will always contain humor, because laughter between two people creates a comfort bond, and comfort bonds maintain relationships through rockier times.

Although I don’t profess to be a comedienne, I’m quite adept at bringing out the funny side of a situation when warranted. I can say with honesty that what first attracted me to my husband was his ability to make me laugh. Throughout my lifetime, I always felt I had to entertain and make others laugh, and until I met Gordon, I’d never been in a relationship with someone who could do the same for me. Gordon and I laughed a lot together as we got to know more about each other, and the pattern has remained a main ingredient throughout our life together. We found common ground on many things we valued and connected with, and I think the key was that we never lost our sense of humor no matter what each day brought.

I’ve witnessed many relationships head south when the initial attraction fades. Sure, people change opinions, preferences, or attitudes on certain issues as time passes, but if our core values or personality change, or if the common elements of enjoyment once shared between two people dissipate, we question our happiness. If we’re not happy about our partner’s personality change or views, a little bit of laughter dies within us. It becomes difficult to feel comfortable with our partner when inner unrest grows. The new discomfort curtails our ability to remain happy and feel the familiar freedom to laugh when our partner no longer shares the same humor. Note that I’m not referring to changes such as complacency or laziness that may set in due to declining energy levels. Age will sometimes alter our agility and even certain desires, but it doesn’t have to affect our senses of humor. Age creeping into a good marriage shouldn’t be a relationship killer.

About the author

Debby Gies is a Canadian nonfiction/memoir author who writes under the pen name of D.G. Kaye. She was born, raised, and resides in Toronto, Canada. Kaye writes about her life experiences, matters of the heart and women’s issues.

D.G. writes to inspire others. Her writing encompasses stories taken from events she encountered in her own life, and she shares the lessons taken from them. Her sunny outlook on life developed from learning to overcome challenges in her life, and finding the upside from those situations, while practicing gratitude for all the positives.

When Kaye isn’t writing intimate memoirs, she brings her natural sense of humor into her other works. She loves to laugh and self- medicate with a daily dose of humor.

Why I Write

I love to tell stories that have lessons in them, and hope to empower others by sharing my own experiences. I write raw and honest about my own experiences, hoping through my writing, that others can relate and find that there is always a choice to move from a negative space, and look for the positive.

Quotes:
“Live Laugh Love . . . And Don’t Forget to Breathe!”

“For every kindness, there should be kindness in return.
Wouldn’t that just make the world right?”

When I’m not writing, I’m reading or quite possibly looking after some mundane thing in life. It’s also possible I may be on a secret getaway trip, as that is my passion—traveling.

Find and follow D. G. Kaye

Blog/website     Goodreads     Amazon author page     Facebook     Wiseintro

Google+     Instagram     Stumbleupon    Pinterest     LinkedIn.com

www.twitter.com/@pokercubster

Books by D. G. Kaye

Click the images or titles to find these books on Amazon

Twenty Years After “I Do”Twenty Years: After "I Do": Reflections on Love and Changes Through Aging by [Kaye, D.G.]

A NEW book by D. G. Kaye

In this personal accounting, D.G. Kaye shares the insights and wisdom she has accrued through twenty years of keeping her marriage strong and thriving despite the everyday changes and challenges of aging. Kaye reveals how a little creative planning, acceptance, and unconditional love can create a bond no obstacle will break. Kaye’s stories are informative, inspiring, and a testament to love eclipsing all when two people understand, respect, and honor their vows. She adds that a daily sprinkling of laughter is a staple in nourishing a healthy marriage.

Twenty years began with a promise. As Kaye recounts what transpired within that time, she shows that true love has no limits, even when one spouse ages ahead of the other.

Read Carol Balawyder’s review of Twenty Years After here.

Conflicted HeartsConflicted Hearts: A Daughter's Quest for Solace from Emotional Guilt by [Kaye, D.G.]

A Lifetime of guilt — What does it take to finally break free?

“Somehow I believed it was my obligation to try to do the right thing by her because she had given birth to me.”

Burdened with constant worry for her father and the guilt caused by her mother’s narcissism, D.G. Kaye had a short childhood. When she moved away from home at age eighteen, she began to grow into herself, overcoming her lack of guidance and her insecurities. Her life experiences became her teachers, and she learned from the mistakes and choices she made along the way, plagued by the guilt she carried for her mother.

Conflicted Hearts is a heartfelt journey of self-discovery and acceptance, an exploration of the quest for solace from emotional guilt.

Read Stevie Turner’s review of Conflicted Hearts here.

MenoWhat? A MemoirMeno-What? A Memoir: Memorable Moments Of Menopause by [Kaye, D.G.]

“I often found myself drifting from a state of normal in a sudden twist of bitchiness.”

From PMS to menopause to what the hell?

D.G. adds a touch of humor to a tale about a not-so-humorous time. While bidding farewell to her dearly departing estrogen, D.G. struggles to tame her raging hormones of fire, relentless dryness, flooding and droughts and other unflattering symptoms.

Join D.G. on her meno-journey to slay the dragons of menopause as she tries to hold on to her sanity, memory, hair, and so much more!

Read Tina Frisco’s review of Meno-What? here.

Words We CarryWords We Carry: Essays of Obsession and Self-Esteem by [Kaye, D.G.]

“I have been a great critic of myself for most of my life, and I was darned good at it, deflating my own ego without the help of anyone else.”

What do our shopping habits, high-heeled shoes, and big hair have to do with how we perceive ourselves? Do the slights we endured when we were young affect how we choose our relationships now?
D.G. takes us on a journey, unlocking the hurts of the past by identifying situations that hindered her own self-esteem. Her anecdotes and confessions demonstrate how the hurtful events in our lives linger and set the tone for how we value our own self-worth.
Words We Carry is a raw, personal accounting of how the author overcame the demons of low self-esteem with the determination to learn to love herself.

Read Judith Barrow’s review of Words We Carry here.

Have Bags, Will TravelHave Bags, Will Travel: Trips and Tales — Memoirs of an Over-Packer by [Kaye, D.G.]

D.G. Kaye is back, and as she reflects on some of her more memorable vacations and travel snags, she finds herself constantly struggling to keep one step ahead of the ever-changing guidelines of the airlines–with her overweight luggage in tow. Her stories alert us to some of the pitfalls of being an obsessive shopper, especially when it comes time for D.G. to bring her treasures home, and remind us of the simpler days when traveling was a breeze.
In her quest to keep from tipping the scales, D.G. strives to devise new tricks to fit everything in her suitcases on each trip. Why is she consistently a target for Canada customs on her return journeys?
D.G.’s witty tales take us from airports, to travel escapades with best friends, to reflections on how time can change the places we hold dear in our hearts. Her memories will entertain and have you reminiscing about some of your own most treasured journeys–and perhaps make you contemplate revamping your packing strategies.

Read Christoph Fischer’s review of Have Bags Will Travel here.

P.S. I Forgive YouP.S. I Forgive You: A Broken Legacy by [Kaye,D.G.]

“I hurt for her. She wasn’t much of a mother, but she was still my mother.”

Confronted with resurfacing feelings of guilt, D.G. Kaye is tormented by her decision to remain estranged from her dying emotionally abusive mother after resolving to banish her years ago, an event she has shared in her book Conflicted Hearts. In P.S. I Forgive You, Kaye takes us on a compelling heartfelt journey as she seeks to understand the roots of her mother’s narcissism, let go of past hurts, and find forgiveness for both her mother and herself.

After struggling for decades to break free, Kaye has severed the unhealthy ties that bound her to her dominating mother—but now Kaye battles new confliction, as the guilt she harbors over her decision only increases as the end of her mother’s life draws near. Kaye once again struggles with her conscience and her feelings of being obligated to return to a painful past she thought she left behind.

Read Deborah Jay’s review of P.S. I Forgive You here.

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent was a Yorkshire born writer, esoteric teacher and a Director of The Silent Eye. She was immersed in the Mysteries all her life. Sue maintained a popular blog and is co-author of The Mystical Hexagram with Dr G.M.Vasey. Sue lived in Buckinghamshire, having been stranded there due to an accident with a blindfold, a pin and a map. She had a lasting love-affair with the landscape of Albion, the hidden country of the heart. Sue  passed into spirit at the end of March 2021.
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94 Responses to Guest author: D. G. Kaye – Twenty years after “I do”.

  1. Stevie Turner says:
    January 25, 2018 at 17:17

    Thanks for sharing the link to my review.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  2. dgkaye says:
    January 25, 2018 at 17:19

    Thanks so much for having me over today Sue ❤ xx

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  3. watchingthedaisies says:
    January 25, 2018 at 17:28

    A lovely interview Sue and Debby. I am with you on the healing power of laughter. 😁

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  4. chris jensen says:
    January 25, 2018 at 17:54

    Reblogged this on crjen1958 and commented:
    Guest author: D. G. Kaye – Twenty years after “I do”.

    Sue Vincent

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  5. Deborah Jay says:
    January 25, 2018 at 18:06

    I’m very much looking forward to reading this new book – and thanks, Sue, for sharing my review of P.S. I Forgive You 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  6. Colleen Chesebro says:
    January 25, 2018 at 18:31

    A lovely introduction to your newest book, Debby. I can’t wait to read it. You are on my list. ❤ 😉

    Liked by 3 people

    Reply
  7. dgkaye says:
    January 25, 2018 at 18:45

    Thanks Colleen. I know, we all get there eventually. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  8. Jacquie Biggar says:
    January 25, 2018 at 18:48

    Laughter truly is the best medicine. Any time I get down, DH says something funny and it brings my spirits up. He’s my blanket in life’s storms.
    Congrats on your new release, Debbie, this really sounds special.

    Liked by 4 people

    Reply
  9. D. Wallace Peach says:
    January 25, 2018 at 20:15

    A lovely peek into Debby’s latest book. I so agree that a sense of humor is what keeps us sane in a long-term relationship (plus all the other good stuff). Laughter cures a lot of ills. Best of luck to Debby on all fronts. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  10. Darlene says:
    January 25, 2018 at 21:27

    I love the excerpt from Debby’s latest book. Laughter is so important in any relationship. A great post!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  11. Smorgasbord - Variety is the Spice of Life. says:
    January 25, 2018 at 23:00

    Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
    Debby Gies…D.G. Kaye is the guest of Sue Vincent today talking about her latest book, the memoir Twenty Years: After “I Do”. If you are married, particularly perhaps to an older partner, you will find this honest and open look at the May/December relationship inspiring.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  12. paulandruss says:
    January 25, 2018 at 23:26

    Lovely seeing Debby here Sue

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  13. Carol Balawyder says:
    January 26, 2018 at 00:42

    This is a really neat post, Sue. I love how you structured it! ❤ Debby's outlook on life needs to be spread – the world needs more kindness and gentleness.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  14. jenanita01 says:
    January 26, 2018 at 10:29

    I realised something monumental while reading this interview. My relationships (or my disasters ) have all failed for the same reason. Their sense of humour was either lacking, or contrary to mine.
    I always thought it was love you needed, but now I know better!

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  15. Shallow Reflections says:
    January 26, 2018 at 12:08

    I love this, Debby. Humor is the emery board that smooths life’s rough edges. And marriage has a lot of rough edges! Your book is on my reading list and I’m a big believer in the lasting power of love, seasoned with laughter. Thank you for this lovely interview, Sue.

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  16. Marje @ Kyrosmagica says:
    January 26, 2018 at 14:15

    True love has no age limits or restrictions Debby. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  18. balroop2013 says:
    January 26, 2018 at 20:02

    Robert Frost said, “If we couldn’t laugh we would all go insane” …such is the need of laughter in our lives! Yoga laughter too emphasises on this time-tested medicine. Thanks for sharing that excerpt from your latest book Deb. Stay blessed Sue, you are so kind!

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  19. Vashti Q says:
    January 26, 2018 at 20:45

    Hi Sue & Debby! I loved the excerpt, quotes, everything! Great post! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  20. Jennie says:
    January 27, 2018 at 01:24

    Sue, Debby is one of the best. Her humor and wisdom are a constant. I just love everything she writes. Thanks for a great guest author post.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  22. Vashti Q says:
    February 5, 2018 at 16:51

    Lovely excerpt, Debby! You have such a wonderful writing style. It’s like listening to a friend. Great guest author post, Sue! 😀 xx

    Liked by 2 people

    Reply
  23. Kate Johnston says:
    February 6, 2018 at 01:31

    This book sounds like it will touch a lot of hearts, Debby, and I cannot wait to read it. I think a sense of humor is hugely important in a relationship. It’s wonderful to have those “old” jokes and funny stories to talk about over the years, just to laugh again.

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply
  24. Norah says:
    February 6, 2018 at 10:06

    It’s nice to see Debby, and read her about her book, here with you, Sue. I have read the book and really enjoyed it. Such a personal account filled with such good spirit, humour and wisdom that is worth sharing with many.

    Like

    Reply
  25. Liesbet @ Roaming About says:
    February 14, 2018 at 04:20

    What a fabulous guest author you have visiting here, Sue. Debby is such an inspiring, positive, genuine and accomplished writer and blogger! The topic of laughter is a good one. So important in life, yet, when stress, work, health and other issues take over, it is hard to maintain. I remember the days when I was in my twenties and lower thirties and used sarcasm in all my conversations and meetings with others. I loved it. I felt light, funny, social and unique. Over time, I have lost that talent. Being “on edge” for years takes away most of the fun in life. But, we are working towards more freedom, time, and hopefully, laughter again!

    Like

    Reply

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