It’s summertime and hot out there,
The scent of roses everywhere,
But something horrid’s in the air
For which my nose and eyes don’t care…
My eyes began to stream and sting
I couldn’t really see a thing,
But I could smell the pungent stuff
That made my breathing feel so rough…
Followed by the meat cremation
Which attacks the British nation
Just as soon as sun arrives
To put ‘adventure’ in our lives.
I feel that it should be a sin
To set a match to paraffin
To bring the barbie up to heat
Just so that you can burn your meat.
The chemically induced flame
Makes every morsel taste the same,
And meanwhile summer’s fragrant night
Is subject to sensory blight.
I cannot see a bit of fun
In calcined burgers in a bun,
Or blackened steak, too hard to bite
Shared with the creatures of the night.
Don’t get me wrong, because it’s true
That I love a good barbecue,
I’d rather eat outside than in…
But not stuff doused in paraffin!
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
Lol!!! Just oven it then eat outside!!!
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I would be happy to do so, but the neighbours seem determined to go with eye-watering paraffin 😉
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I can;t complain… Hubby Dearest, once the bee is firmly in his bonnet, loves a barbeque, but to be honest most gets cooked in the oven, then ‘chargrilled’ on the barbie!
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I can’t see you using this amount of paraffin though 😉
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We dont use any actually!!!
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I wouldn’t either!
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Fun read! Enjoy the summer – it’s time for our monsoon!
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Monsoons we don’t get…but rain is something we know all too well in England 🙂
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Yup, I know 😊
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🙂
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My folks were British cremation generation. I grew up on blackened meat. Thankfully my husband taught me the juicy beautifulness (yes, this is a word when it comes to meat) of rare meat. Mmm.
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I learned that in France, where steak and pan are barely introduced as a formality 😉
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Hehe, as my dad says, the steak is still mooing.
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Pretty much, though in France it often neighed too 😉
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😳😳
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Here across the pond most of us use gas grills, they work great and you still get that barbecue flavor. ☺☺☺
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Given the amount of rain we have here, I think there is a ‘hit ad run’ quality to barbecues here 😉
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Gas grill here, too. Instant flame, seared juiciness, no added flavor (though to us, paraffin is wax), and just the right amount of doneness. In cooler weather, Mark and I cook over our fire pit, which also adds a great flavor, if you use certain kinds of wood. Applewood is super, or chunks of hickory tossed on the flames. Ummmm. Yummy. And no chemical smell from either grill or fire pit.
Of course, even if you tried those, it wouldn’t change what your neighbors are doing. Maybe you can try grilling over a gas grill in the winter, when everyone else is inside. ??? 😀
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I do love a good babecue, and the different herbs and woods add something special to the meal… rather better than the paraffin/kerosene flavouring of the charcoaled offering that were being pepared over the fence 😉
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Braaing (what you call barbequing) is the national sport of South Africa. WE, however, braai our meat over a wood or coal fire and it is very competitive amongst the men to see who can cook the best and most tasty meat.
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Then if I ever get over there, I’ll look forward to a good alfresco meal 🙂
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What? You don’t like smelling of smoke and paraffin oil? I’ll bet Ani goes crazy with it! We often cook the meat inside (I think it comes out better, especially chicken) and bring it outside. I know, we are cheating!
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My eyes were watering for an hour… what we call paraffin is kerosene in the US, I believe… and they were liberal with the stuff!
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I do love a barbeque but I have much the same thoughts as you 🙂
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I’ll happily indilge, but without the chemicals…
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Quite agree, Sue. The added chemical tang does nothing to enhance cremated meat. I’m not keen barbecues (though I enjoy eating outside when the weather is good) because so often the cooking hasn’t even begun when the guests turn up at the time they were invited. I drink far too much while waiting and am so hungry by the time I get my charred burger I gulp it down too fast and spend the rest of the night with raging indigestion.
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That sounds like most of my experience too, Mary…though I have had some super barbies too.
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Sounds awful, Sue. I prefer chemical-free too. 🙂
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The fumes were dreadful for ages…I can’t understand why anyone would cook on that for choice!
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Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie.
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Not many people know how to cook on a barbeque, and as for the paraffin, what are they thinking?
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You would think after millennia of man and fire, we would know.. but I fail to see why anyone would want to eat paraffin smoked meat!
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quite…
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What an evil concoction. Sorry, you have to suffer, Sue 😦 — Suzanne
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Thankfully, it is raining this evening 😉
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Paraffin? Sacrilege, I say! … they might as well just douse it in petrol and be done with it. Whatever happened to good old fashioned wood? 🙂
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Goodness knows…but I wouldn’t fancy it myself…
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Hon, you couldn’t survive a weekend in Texas. Everybody grills!
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But hopefully not with gallons of kerosene 😉
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Oh I love a good barbeque too Sue. We haven’t had one this year yet, which is so unlike us! 🙂
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It is a very long time since I did 🙂
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Oh your neighbours probably put you off for life!!! 😣😣
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It would take a good offer to tempt me 😉
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