Drawing by Theodor Kittelsen, 1911
Dear… well, you didn’t acually give me your name, did you? Just an acronym…
Congratulations! Yes, you managed it! You got a reaction!
I must apologise, however, for being such a disappointment. I know my reaction is possibly not quite the one you were hoping for.
I must say though, you did an excellent job. It is not through any lack of thoroughness on your part. I hold up my hands… mea culpa. It is not you. I am to blame…
I was, unfortunately, unable to respond in anger or confusion. I reprehensibly managed to resist that temptation. I failed to take an offensively defensive position, or even to curl up in a foetal ball, wondering what I had done to offend you, how I could possibly appease you or change your obviously poor opinion of me.
The fact that you cast aspersions upon my person, methods, ethics and talents in one magnificently arrogant and wholly superfluous attack did not escape my notice. Nor did I fail to observe that the facts you cited were superbly incorrect and perfectly designed to undermine any lingering self-confidence that might remain after wading through the allusory morass.
And I? I did not even manage to weep at your words.
No.
I did something much worse than that.
I laughed.
Then sent you to my spam folder.
Any future such epistles will receive the same treatment, except that now, I will not need to waste my time reading them. So please, do feel free to continue sending them. I would much rather they came to my spam folder than have them land in the inbox of someone more fragile and susceptible to insidious sabotage. Did you know that the word ‘sabotage’ comes from the French…to ‘kick with a heavy wooden shoe’? In modern parlance, I suppose we would call it ‘putting the boot in’ or ‘kicking someone when they are down’. But, I digress… I’m sure you knew that.
I did track you down, you see… and found that your speciality is leaving provocative, if fairly irrelevant comments on perfectly good blogs. I note that, sadly, you receive very few responses to your vituperative tirades however, so I thought you might appreciate this one.
I am unsure quite what you expect to gain by lambasting people to no useful purpose. I did wonder if you were related to Wowbagger the Infinitely Prolonged. You know, the chap who fills immortality by insulting everyone in the universe in alphabetical order. You must have read Douglas Adams? No? Then, I suspect that you are merely bored and can find nothing more productive to do with your time than entertain yourself by attempting to devastate or anger perfect strangers.
I do understand that life can seem a drab, pointless affair, though. So, if you are in need of further amusement, may I recommend that you visit my Amazon pages?
If you press the little button that says ‘leave a review’, you can be as scathingly derogatory as you like. There are over twenty books out there with my name on the spine, all of which are in need of further reviews. That should keep you occupied for a while.
You do not need to buy a copy… Amazon permits you to leave a review of a book acquired elsewhere… or, indeed, not read at all. Unfortunately, the lack of a ‘verified purchase‘ tag may alert potential buyers to the fact that you are simply amusing yourself, but don’t worry, Amazon’s own algorithms will take note of your comments. Sadly though, they will simply register another review… which will add to the tally and lead me ever-closer to being promoted by their services.
We both benefit, you see.
In conclusion, even though I did not add my contact page to the blog with the specific intention of allowing non-humans* access to my email inbox and time, I would like to thank you for getting in touch. Your visit was educational… I had never encountered one of your kind before. I am happy that you found something here with which to amuse yourself and I am very grateful for your comments. As you will note, I have drawn much inspiration from them,
Kind regards,
Sue Vincent
*This is in no way intended to offend you, it is simply a recognition of the divergent evolutionary path of trolls as a non-human species.
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
Very classy response. I’m constantly amazed by how rude and nasty people can be. Love the way you rise above it so elegantly.
LikeLike
I still cannot understand, Sarah, why anyone would waste their crafting such a long, acidic email to send to someone they do not know, simply to upset them in some way. It had no real relevence to anything I do! I’d never ‘met’ a troll before, apart from the publicly visible ones online, but can quite see how they could destroy someone’s confidence if they attack a weak spot.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Reading posts like yours is a good reminder of the senselessness of it all, the randomness of the choice of victim, and the need to hold your head up and carry on. A friend of mine abandoned her (early days) blog because of some stupid troll – a real loss for her (and for me).
LikeLike
I can quite see how, if these random verbal blows hit a tender spot, they could be utterly devastating for the recipient. The perpetrators are simply cruel, vicious and can have nothing else in their lives to give them a sense of self-worth. Very sad, really.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Well put Sue.The temptation is always there to answer the trolls but it takes someone good to put the sabot on the other foot so to speak. I hope it felt as good as it looked.
xxx Huge Hugs xxx
LikeLike
It is the first one who has found my inbox in this way, David… it is a nastyy way to operate and must be awful for those who take these comments to heart. xxx
LikeLike
Well said.
LikeLike
Thanks, Barbara.
LikeLike
A super response to something mean and unkind, Sue. I am learning so much from you as I know I would not have handled this so well. Love the picture!
LikeLike
The drawing is perfect and seems to capture the loneliness these trolls must feel in order to do what they do.
LikeLike
Excellent post! Congratulations to you 🙂
LikeLike
🙂
LikeLike
Well said, Sue! xxx
LikeLike
Thanks, Ali xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Buggering horrible, aren’t they? Trolls, I mean! So meaninglessly egregious. I thought you handled the little scrote most deftly. Not nice to have to read their illiterate ramblings and nasty comments, though. I sympathise. xxx
LikeLike
I know you had t deal with them too. I’ve had a few before who have attempted troll-dom, but this one seems to be quite professional about it…the email addresss allowed me to trace the perpetrator online. The comments were generic but genre-targeted enough to be mistaken for something personal and could be terrible and confidence destroying for anyone who does so. I cannot understand the mindset of people who delight in screwing with minds and emotions as a pastime. xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Me neither, Sue. Your example is chilling indeed – the professional aspect makes it far worse in many ways. Gaslighting online, basically. xxx
LikeLike
I will never understand what makes it attractive. Power, I expect… but an illusory one after all. xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
It is all about power and control. It is the same urge that drives more conventional bullies, Narcissists, psychopaths and so forth. It is a mind game. xxx
LikeLike
I see no benefit or joy in it…but I don’t suppose that is what they are after. xxx
LikeLiked by 1 person
No, they wouldn’t know true joy if you served it up on a plate (a l’orange!) for them! xxx
LikeLike
know what I’d like to serve them… 😉 xx
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’s beginning to wonder if the words “troll” and “narcissist” are interchangeable? It seems like they have a lot in common only the troll doesn’t have to pretend to like us first before trying to strip us of our self-worth. Hmmm….is there such a thing as a virtual narcissist?
LikeLiked by 1 person
It makes you wonder whether this is a new diagnosis or simply a new outlet for an old problem…
LikeLiked by 1 person
It does remind me, a bit, of the time I was a teen and had to go into a men’s bathroom (one toilet) because the ladies room was occupied. It found all sorts of messages like, “For a good time call Sheila at (phone number).” A bunch of angry men trying to get back at their ex-girlfriends, I suppose. Anonymous, spiteful, and destined to make life miserable during a time when numbers didn’t show up on your telephone.
LikeLike
Cruelty is a very creative trait…sadly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Reblogged this on Barb Taub and commented:
Sue Vincent nails it: “*This is in no way intended to offend you, it is simply a recognition of the divergent evolutionary path of trolls as a non-human species.”
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well that was erudite as ever. I know what to do now… we’ll said Sue
LikeLike
Thanks, Geoff 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
You go girl!!!
LikeLiked by 1 person
😉 x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Excellent response Sue.
LikeLike
Thank you x
LikeLike
Brilliant Sue!
LikeLike
Thanks, Colleen. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
When I was blogging on Huffington Post and weriting mostly about politics you wouldn’t believe the trolls I attracted and the things they said. I never took it personally, but it did, in the end, cause me to give it up because the negativity and ugliness just got to be too much. What’s staggering is how many sad, lonely, angry, miserable people there are in this world.
LikeLike
I can imagine, Fransi. You would have to be exceptionally thicj skinned to be able to shrug that kind of thing off, day after day.ButI agree, it must be a very sad world for those who can only find relief in causing pain.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes. And I am quite sure if it offers them any relief at all, which I doubt, it is only fleeting.
LikeLike
God alone knows how fragile they must be to find this an appealing lifestyle.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They are cowards who are emboldened by the anonymity of email and social media.
LikeLike
Nicely put. I’d love to meet one face to face, but I very much doubt they would admit liability publicly…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I also doubt it. Difficult as it is, the most effective thing to do is simply ignore them.
LikeLike
I agree, Fransi.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sorry you’ve had to go through it, Sue.
LikeLike
Brilliantly put, Sue. I’m sorry you’ve received such a nasty email, which makes it much more personal somehow than a public comment on a blog or FB page. Such sad people.
LikeLike
Very sad, Mary. I know that had I recieved such a missive a few years ago, it would have crushed me. These days, not at all…but they could do serious damage to some people and quash a budding self-confidence very easily.
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Kate McClelland.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess I’m lucky that the trolls ignore me. Great response, though! Not that the troll will read or understand if they actually do read it,but still, it made some of us smile (particularly the reference to the Hitchhikers series).
LikeLike
Well, if you will excuse the expression,I’ll be damned if I give them the satisfaction of a personal response.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well said Sue, they must lead sad little lives….
LikeLike
They must, Dean..and do so much damage in spite of their own unacknowledged fragility.
LikeLike
Wow, great response. There are a lot of people who just want the rest of the world to feel as badly as they do. Which begs the question: why are so many people disenfranchised?
LikeLike
I think if we ever achieved Utopia, there would be those damaged enough by their own perspective on life to feel this way… but I do think there are many factors contributing to a lack of joy in life.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s exactly it! A lack of joy.😩
LikeLike
Yet there is joy to be found with eyes and hearts open.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Brilliant response, Miss Vincent, Ma’am.
I have been trolled before and it really hurt my feelings for a while. 😦
I got over it! 🙂
Happy Reading and Writing!
~Icky. 🙂
LikeLike
Thank you, Icky. I know a good many who have been very hurt by this type of unkindness. It is so pointless too…
LikeLiked by 1 person
You have written a magnificent response which speaks for all of us. Thanks, Sue.
LikeLike
Thank you, John.
LikeLiked by 1 person
YAY, well said Sue…..you do indeed rock!
LikeLike
Thank you 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank God I have never come across a troll as I am not sure how I would react. With your intelligence and wit , you have cut this moron completely down to size! Well done, Sue! xx
LikeLike
I’d suggest ignoring them, Judy…they deserve no more than silence. I just couldn’t resist 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well sometimes you just have to make a stand Sue 😁
LikeLike
I thought so 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Do you suppose these are the work of cowards who go through life never speaking up to disagree or risk being different in the presence of others, so can only get all their frustrations out at a safe distance on strangers?
LikeLike
I don’t know, Eileen. I have often wondered… but somehow I doubt it. Sad to say, some folk just have a nasty, controlling streak and enjoy themselves at the expense of others.
LikeLike
An excellent and witty response, Sue to a dimwitted troll. Why do they do it, I’ll never know and to be honest if it landed in my inbox I would have been upset, whatever they said. xx
LikeLike
It was so irrelevent it was ludicrous, Adele xx
LikeLiked by 1 person
Best response ever! 😀
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very clever! 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks, Carol.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They seem to be running rampant these days, having seen several excellent writers shut down their blogs because of them. I always moderate comments to make sure they get no recognition. Some seriously need to get a life…
Love your response!!!
LikeLike
Thanks, Dorinda. I only moderate first comments…but would delete this knd of stuff. At the end of the day, they are only embarassing themselves, not me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Very true, Sue. I tried the first comments only thing, decided to moderate them all. You never know who’s hiding. 🙂
LikeLike
No, but as I am on here daily (as a rule) any dodgy comments that made it through would soon be deeleted. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good for you Sue for wasting your good time responding so eloquently to a troll, lol. 🙂
LikeLike
The email that sparked it came in just as I was pondering the blak page for the day….so it was a timely source of inspiration to write…which is possibly not hat was intended, given some of the comments it contained 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well it’s awful that people have nothing better to do than harass others 😦
LikeLike
I agree, Debby…sad lives they must live…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Dear Sue I will just add to everyone else’s praise of your response to whatever the troll said. I had trouble with a troll once on another website and in truth they almost made me ill. I would not let that happen again, i hope i could cope as well as you. bravo 💜💝❤️
LikeLike
Ignoring them seems the only possible response… apart from this generic one 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I definitely agree
LikeLiked by 1 person
I got seriously trolled on Amazon … not for what I wrote, but for a review. Of a book about Alexander Hamilton. It was weird. Some people really need to get a life.
LikeLike
I simply cannot understand what makes these folk tick.
LikeLike
Hmmm…timely – Excellent response, but I recently responded to an ‘in-person’ attack, from one long in my circle, that does, rather, the whole thing, that, in reading your response, I realize, I curl up into a fetal ball and try to make right – and realized, it’s been YEARS! And, am I not rather tired of being trying to be the person I want to be ….and yet…not be the doormat they think I am? Hmmm…I’ve done the raging bull in china shop that doesn’t demolish with temper, just says, “Nope, done – ” but, definitely food for thought – as….what if, next time, they pick on someone more vulnerable than I? Thanks, yet again – definitely food for thought – 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks, TamrahJo.. any human being deserves better than a doormat. I did that for long enough… no longer x
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yup….I’m about worked up to that point, again – just hoping to do it this time in incremental stages instead of waiting, gently reminding, more stern saying, before I revert to my dad’s DNA way of, “Obviously you won’t get the message until you’re either whining and thinking I’m the Devil for hurting your feelings” and/or delivering the message via the figurative baseball bat – – funny, I’ve been looking around me, more and more and thinking, yet again (revisit 10 years ago lessons) “Ya seriously won’t get it unless I’m really ‘rude, harsh, etc. You are seriously messing with my ‘compassionate, tolerant’ journey, ya know?!?” LOL
LikeLike
P.S. – NOW who’s whining?!? LOL – But yes, last week, I seriously had to wonder if the Universe was saying, “Okey-Dokey – ya swung your pendulum to far the other way – bring it back – oh? here’s a reminder, here’s another, and another, and one more, just in case you’re still analyzing/questioning – – ” LOL
LikeLike
LOL 🙂
LikeLike
It isn’t up to us to change people’s mainds..they are responsble for their own. We just needto be responsible for our own journey and hope it might, possibly, be a useful lighton other’s paths. 😉
LikeLiked by 1 person
I still struggle with ‘conveying’ in way that says, “I’m not on board with that for my journey” without it sounding like I’m judging the other for their choices – I thought it was rather obvious when I just listened, but didn’t say “I agree” – but I’ve learned, silence makes folks think you’re on their wagon train – and oh, how many in the modern world roll out to destinations I have no interest in visiting or supporting as the ‘trending tourist spot’ – – LOL
LikeLiked by 1 person
In all honesty, though, I have to say, I may just be working my way ever more than before towards, “crusy-ole-fart-cynicism” – which is okay – I happen to like crusty ole farts – some of my fave folks – 😀
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good for you, Sue. You thumped that troll with class. Perhaps it will now creep back under its bridge, or whatever hole or cave it crept out of. 🙂 — Suzanne
LikeLike