We’re not talking.
I know, I should be more patient with her…she’s only a two-legs after all, but honestly…
First she goes off, then comes back…only to go off again. Then, when she does come back, she’s all at sixes and sevens, whatever they are, and she’s running out when she should be in and home when she should be out and then out for ages and ages. Not good enough. You just can’t get the two-legses these days.
When she finally decides to start behaving a bit, instead of nice cuddles and longer walks…just by way of compensation, you understand… she sniffs at me and starts muttering about baths. She won’t try that again in a hurry though… I can make enough mess with the water without her being dragged in too 😉
Then she tried to cut my nails. Honest! Maybe she’d like to paint them silly colours like hers too? Still, she said some very strange words and gave up after a bit. Says it’s a two-two-legs job. Which, I believe, makes it a four-legs job so she can just leave well alone.
That’s just the normal sort of stuff I have to put up with. But then she didn’t come home till after dark…and she never does that. Well, not for ages. Or unless she’s fetching the ball-guy… but she came back without him. And I was all excited too… had the balls lined up and everything. She claims it isn’t her fault but the clock’s and that she wouldn’t alter the clock unless she had to. Don’t see why she should…she never looks at it anyway. But no, she says, They say the clocks have to go back so it’ll be darker longer if she’s late. So, instead of taking responsibility, she’s just blaming it all on inanimate objects instead.
I tell you, she’s lost it.
That was all bad enough, but then, when it was dark and she was out, there were Things walking around! Knocking at the door… making funny noises and looking all white and ghoulish! She called it Halloween and said she had to go see her grandpup turn into a pumpkin. A likely story. And she left me all alone… and that’s when I saw the bones.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for bones in the normal sort of way, but I’m not keen on them walking around, you know? Mine tend to stay where I put ’em… and it worried me a bit. Skellingtons, she called them.
Bones are okay. Chasing things is okay. But I’m not sure I want to chase bones. It’s not natural!
Anyway, she seemed to be disappointed that she’d missed ’em. Said she’d bought chocolate for them. I didn’t know bones ate chocolate!
So she said she’d have to dispose of the chocolate herself. I considered it only fair that she share, under the circumstances. But no. ‘Not allowed’ was all I got. Then, just to add to the unfairness, she put onions and garlic with the chicken she’d bought… and said I couldn’t have that either! I mean, okay, she’d bought me some chicken too, but how am I supposed to look after her if she won’t let me keep her calories down?
So, we’re not speaking. Well, she is, but I’m not.
I thought I’d show her just how upset I am. I’d be quiet as a mouse. I wouldn’t keep fetching her the ball… and I wouldn’t offer to help her with her dinner either! That’d teach her!
But do you know… all she said was that I’d been such a good girlie!
I despair of her, I really do.
Much love,
Ani xxx
Sue Vincent's Daily Echo 
What a good girl! She’s so patient with her imperfect human. But dogs are better than people and she will always forgive you because she is all love and doesn’t know how to be anything else.
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Ani glared at me this morning because I wouldn’t retrive the tennis ball from the long, wet grass at 2am…and this morning it was frozen. My fault, of course… 😉
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You poor put upon puppy, Perhaps your two legs need retraining.
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It is a constant battle to get her to behave 😉 Much love, Ani xxx
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Oh Ani…. poor you!
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*sniff* I know… but someone has to look after her 😉 Much love, Ani xxx
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You do a great job sweety! 🐶
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I do my best… even with such poor material to work with. I let her give me a treat this morning though 😉 Much love, Ani xxx
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You keep at it, she’s already eating out of your hand… Metaphorically speaking! 😉
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I does my best 😉 xxx
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😍
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I love this dog….what a beautiful face, and may all animals rule:)
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She is the loveliest girl…. and rule she does, Janet 😉
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I am glad to hear it:)
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🙂
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Poor Ani….
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Terrible, that dog’s life… 😉
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😄
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She’s so sweet. 🙂
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She is… 🙂
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Hold your ground, Ani. Mom took me to my Cheers bar on Halloween (no costumes, which I actually suspected was likely to happen). She made me wait so long before we actually got out the door that, once we were there, I played with everybody but her. It’s a tough job, but somebody needs to “tough love” these two-legs into shape.
I mean, how complicated can it be to walk out a door as soon as she puts on my halter? I’m over this “turn off the lights – where is my purse – where did I put the keys – did I lock the back door” nonsense.
Woof! Tink
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Mine knows better now. The harness goes on last if she wants any paint left in the door… 😉 Xxx
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Wouldn’t work with my Mom. She can misplace anything she sets down for a moment – without moving a step.
Tho’ maybe I could train her to check the doors and lights before she starts the gathering (and finding a way to set up a landing zone for stuff she puts down.) There must be SOME way to make it work here.
xx, Tink
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Pockets. She needs bigger pockets 😉 xxx
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Funny you should say that – she is always growling about the lack of pockets in the clothing where we live, and threatening to throw out anything that doesn’t have something named “functional pockets.”
She’s already stopped bringing anything into the house that can’t be eaten, especially things to wear, so I’m not sure what she’ll do if she starts moving things OUT! It’s not like she has fur or anything.
xx, Tink
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One in, one out… that’s the rule. Apart from tennis balls, They come in by the dozen and never go ‘out’ xxx
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She’s thinking one out, then another one out. 🙂 She’s never been fond of that place with all those machines filled with water anyway.
I hope she knows better than to include anything that belongs to me in her outing. Except for the frisbees, I don’t even let her play with my things unless she is really, really good. She throws, I fetch – then bury in one of my beds. xx
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Ah…now I favour a different approach. I throw, she fetches 😉 xxx
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I’m not a terrific thrower – tiny mouth, low to the ground. But I’m great at rolling the balls under the furniture when I’m in the mood to watch HER fetch. 🙂 We all have our ways.
xx, TINK
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I do that too…and hide them 😉 xxx
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The problem with my 2-legs is that she doesn’t move the furniture when she runs that noisy thing. If I don’t make her fetch right away, I lose things for a real long time – and she washes them before she gives them back after they’ve been there for a while. Then they smell weird. 🙂 TINK
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Why they think they have to wash eveerything…especially us… is beyond me xxx
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I have NO idea! They don’t seem to like any of the good smells, and think dirty things don’t belong in mouths, I guess. (As if soap-tastes & smells are any better). xx
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Well, I must say I’m quite partial to soap, yet she says I can’t have that either! xx
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Gross – I can’t stand the stuff myself. But I’ve always been fond of a bit of kleenex.
The nice ladies who vet me needed a stool sample when I was a teeny-tiny because Mom was worried that I had something called tumors — until they set her straight.
Since then, she does her best to keep the boxes way up high. I’m lucky she has ADD, so she never does anything ALL the time – but she gets mad and makes me drop it when she catches me. xx, TINK
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Mine has started hiding the fish food up high too 😦 xxx
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The only fish I get is salmon – but she keeps it in the ‘fridge – and the little salmon pellets are in a dog-proof container. Bummer! 😦
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They leave fridges open sometimes…I got a whole turkey that way.
These are what she feeds the fish… if they can have them, I figure so canI xx
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Sounds fair to me – but I don’t think I could even get a whole turkey out of the ‘fridge. I’d have to snack in place. xx
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As long as she doesn’t close the door by accident 😉 xx
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It’s not that big a ‘fridge – but that’s a scary though. xx
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Neither is ours…but I’m not that small a dog 😉 xx
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Bigger than a turkey, anyway!
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yep 😀
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mgh here – the ENTIRE time Ani and Tink have been chatting, I have been trying to get a Time Troubles article online. (Ironic, huh?)
So far, WordPress has added code that changed the formatting, deleted the entire article, and DOUBLED the word count by saving it twice in the same document. WHAT is going on?! (and will it ever stop?)
grrrrrrrrrrrr!
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I know… just ‘lost’ mine twice and thankful for the clipboard! xx
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Ditto!
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Poor you. Our humans are a bit too complex for my liking. We had chicken yesterday, but He cooked it. I got a bit, but no dribbles! She always gives me dribbles. And pineapple! I got none of that either. It’s odd here. Not so many walks, and He’s sleeping at the other end, but they aren’t cross with each other. I’m staying close to Her at night though. And during the day. Maggie xx
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No dribbles? He needs more training, Maggie 😉 They are an odd lot all round, you know. .they overcomplicate stuff that should be simple…then wonder why we don’t understand… Much love, Ani xxx
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You are not convincing anybody, Ani. You could no more ignore your two legs than fly to the moon!
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I can too. For at least a minute! 😉 Much live, Ani xxx
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Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie.
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Reblogged this on Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life and commented:
More notes from a small dog who finds the skellingtons at Halloween a complete mystery.. she is showing her displeasure too with not being able to indulge in the left over chocolate.. things are tense in the household…
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Ah Ani, if only we spoke dog better….
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It’s okay, we understand two-legs well enough 😉 much love, Ani xxx
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Awww…Ani. It’s so unfair isn’t it? My days are getting longer but /she/ locks me in after dinner just when the possums come out to play. I don’t know why she keeps saying ‘shhhh!’ all the time. Anyway, I know just how you feel. Love, Mogi
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They just don’t seem to understand the importance of being in touch with nature’s rhythm 😉 much love, Ani xxx
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Yes, they always get it wrong. Doggy hugs, Mogi.
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At least they try 😉
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I suppose we have to give them some credit.
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Just a bit 😉
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🙂
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NEVER let them cut your nails! I don’t let Annabelle anywhere near my paws. Millie xx
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She’s not coming near mine either…not without reinforcements and a decent bribe 😉 much love, Ani xxx
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So that’s what they really think? And here I have been extolling dog’s unconditional love all these years.
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Never said I didn’t love her 😉 much love, Ani xxx
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I love your dog stories, and your humour.
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Thank you 🙂
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I laughed and laughed and laughed. Sorry, Ani but your cute face made me laugh- by the way, have you considered writing as a profession- you write well Ani – something like Ani’s woes ??
Susie
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Hi Susie, thank you. I do have a couple of books out. But They made her put her name on they cover. Canine discrimination, I call it.. 😉 much love, Ani xxx
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I know- you need to sue you know. Speak up for your rights or bites as the case may be.
What are your books called ? Maybe I can buy some ?
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I do try 😉
My books are Notes from a Small Dog: Four Legs on Two and Laughter Lines:Life at the Tail End She’s saving my royalties towards an automatic tennis ball launcher. I’ve been waiting ages.… 😉
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Hi Ani. I got a couple of books out too, but Dave put his name on the cover. We ought to join a union (whatever that is!)
Love Misty
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Honestly…
They really do take the dog biscuit… but maybe they really do have to? Hmmm… not that I would trust them where biscuits are concerned 😉 Much love, Ani xxx
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A lot of that stuff she won’t let you eat is dangerous for you Ani! She is taking care of you. I’m glad to see you wern’t really scared by those bones. Maybe next year she can dress you up and take you around with the grandpup. People here do that a lot! I can’t see you as a pumpkin, though.
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There’ll be a real horror story if she tries dressing me up! The hoodie was bad enough…and I do not look like a Jedi!Much love, Ani xxx
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The silent treatment…so sorry it didn’t work for you, Ani. ☺
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Ah well, I’ll find a way 😉 Much love, Ani xxx
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Skellingtons! Ha ha. Poor Ani. And poor Sue, having to eat all that chocolate by herself. 😀
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She’s still eating it too.. a bit every day. It’ll last weeks at this rate! Unless she forgets to shutthe cupboard 😉 Much love, Ani xx
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Oh, Ani, she can be a cruel woman sometimes – but she does love you 🙂
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I know… but she neds to pull her socks up a bit 😉 Much love, Ani xxx
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Sue that is so lovely, I dare not let Ruby see this she has been moaning about, Halloween, and time changes . We need to watch out we could have a rebellion on our hands!!!;
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It seems to be spreading, you know 😉
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What, the dog revolution! 😱
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Wouldn’t surprise me at all …
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Humm! This needs some thought!!
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😉
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Oh, Ani, didn’t she even give you a bit of cheese to go with your chicken?
I hope you have got over the walking bones thing now too! 🙂
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She couldn’t. I’d eaten it all. 😉
I’m still a bit upset at bones that run away, you know. It isn’t right… xxx
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❤❤
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LOL Ani, you crack me up, ‘chasing bones’. I love your little rants! Next time ask for a little cheese with that whine, er, um, I mean chicken. 🙂 ❤
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I’d already eaten all the cheese though 😉 xx
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Lol Ani, you’re too cute, ‘not used to chasing bones’. Next time ask for a little cheese to go with that whine, er, um, I mean chicken. 🙂 xo
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😀 xx
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🙂
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I do love Ani’s stories, Sue, and her lovely doggy face 😊
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She is a sweetie x
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She is indeed 🙂
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🙂
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Sometimes ‘oomins are incomprehensible. 🙂
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Hi Ani, Dante here. Yep, the strangely weird creatures came to our door too but my two leggeds were in and they answered the door! They asked them to do jokes they laughed. I didn`t see the funny side. They got candy, which I`m never allowed. hmmph. Sulked all night but all I got was “what a good boy too.” Will this madness never end. Much paw love, Dante.
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Fireworks next, Dante 😦 mind…then it’s turkey season 🙂 xx
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Ahhhh Turkey Ani that’s the thing to take our mind off the booms. much paw love. xx
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There’s still horrible noises here tonight so she’s not coming out from under the desk, Dante 😦 x
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Oh no. My two legged Adele hates fireworks. She was terrified last night too but didn’t let on. Give Ani a big hug from me and Adele xxx
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She’s curled round my feet ‘protecting’ me at the moment 😉 xx
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Bless her. They are wonderful our doggies. xxx
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They are xx
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Walking bones, Ani? Whatever next? I hope my dog biscuits don’t all of a sudden start running away from me. Could be a good game, but I’d rather chase the squirrels.
I didn’t mind the funny looking two-legs on Monday night, but I do wish they could put a stop to all these loud bangs going off when it gets dark. Why has nobody invented us dogs headphones yet?
Stay safe and play some games tomorrow night. I’ve already got lots planned for my two-legs.
Lots of tail wags,
Toby
xx
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I’ve yet to meet a squirrel…she never points them out to me, Toby. Always just tells me when I’ve missed them… she’s mean like that.
Hope you don’t get disturbed too much tomorrow. Mine says she’ll be playing music louder than usual 😉
Much love, Ani xxx
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I chase them when they invade my garden and start nicking all the spring bulbs, Ani. They have hoards of them up in them trees.
Enjoy the music. I hope it’s something you like as well?
xxxx
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Er… I need trees… evidently. 😉 She’ll just put something weurd on, or maybe the box in the corner will light up xx
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