Notes from a small dog – 10 tips for training your two-legs

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The correct training of your two-legs… ‘specially visiting two-legses…is critical to their well-being. I thought I’d share my ten favourite tips for the establishment of proper pack behaviour…

ani window1. Use advanced surveillance techniques. Never let them arrive unexpectedly. This gives you a unfair unique advantage. You, of course, will know long before your two-legs that a visitor is arriving. They have to wait for a knock on  the door. Which means, you can be ready… and waiting…

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2. Decontamination. You don’t know where they’ve been… they may even have been near cats! But a thorough washing both cleans them up and lets you investigate. They, poor things, have a problem with soap and smelly stuff… they smear it all over. They taste a lot better when it is all gone. They think you are being cute and giving kisses… but that’s okay. We know better… And anyway, if they are going to stuff us in baths with their smelly stuff, what do they expect?

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3. Let them play.  They like to think they know best. They also think they understand humour. There are limits, however. Me, I draw the line at coats and fluffy jumpers. I know some short-hairs like ’em them in cold weather, but I’m quite happy in my own skin. Still, if  you let them play their games, they have no excuses when it’s your turn  🙂

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4. Establish firm boundaries. This is especially important with regards to your sofa. It may be necessary to demonstrate… If they still don’t get it,  ignore them. Then, if all else fails, sit on ’em.

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5. Establish ownership. While it is possible to allow your two-legs a certain amount of freedom, it is best to show them quite clearly in which areas you are in charge. This obviously includes the ‘fridge and its contents.

fridge

 6. Obedience training. Set the ground rules early and be consistent. This should be one of your first priorities. They need to know exactly what you expect of them.

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7. Prevent boredom. A bored two-legs will only get into trouble.  Stimulate their minds by setting them puzzles. It might take them a while to work out what they are supposed to be doing, but it keeps them out of mischief. Just give them some attention and encourage them…

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8. Keep them active. Your two-legs need plenty of exercise… ‘specially if they are inclined to sit in front of their little boxes all day. Two…or three…nice long walks every day should do the trick, but you can always encourage some activity in the gym too…

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9. Encourage a healthy diet. This means making sure they keep you well supplied with food, treats and tidbits. Their diet doesn’t bear thinking about. Apart from the cheese and the chicken…. I think ’bout those a lot.

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10. Keep them happy. Give them plenty of cuddles so they know they are loved. Listen to them when they talk to you, be aware of their feelings… and share every laughing moment you can with them.

ani (1)Remember, a happy, healthy two-legs will, if properly loved and cared for, last you a lifetime. Ani winks

Much love,

Ani xxx

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She has written a number of books, both alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com
This entry was posted in Dogs, Humour, Nick Verron, Photography and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

80 Responses to Notes from a small dog – 10 tips for training your two-legs

  1. amommasview says:

    Love this so much. Had a great giggle 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Now I understand why my dogs feel obliged to lick every inch of exposed skin as soon as I emerge from the shower. And why Bonnie sits perched on the back of the sofa surveying the world. It’s all clear now. Except that I’m pretty sure they all use our computers after we go to bed.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ani is extremely knowledgeable. 🙂

    Like

  4. Denis1950 says:

    Thanks Ani sounds like pretty fair advice to me. ps Not bad photos Sue, I trust Ani approves.

    Like

  5. Judy Martin says:

    That is wonderful advice, Ani. Roxy is already following some of your tips, especially the hogging the sofa one!!! 🙂 xx

    Like

  6. Ritu says:

    Great advice Ani!!!

    Like

  7. davidprosser says:

    Well written and good points Ani.
    Hugs

    Like

  8. Reblogged this on Chris The Story Reading Ape's Blog and commented:
    Training Tips from Ani the Dog 😀

    Like

  9. Cathy says:

    Thanks for the tips, Ani. I’ll pass them on 😉

    Like

  10. We are going to adopt these training methods – especially #8. Our two-legs has been a bit slack about walks lately. Millie and Pearl xx

    Like

  11. Mary Smith says:

    Great post and I love the photos, especially the one with all the tennis balls, and the last one with Nick – the expressions on both faces are priceless.

    Like

  12. jenanita01 says:

    Oh my, this post was delightful. Thank you so much Ani, I needed some light relief this morning!

    Like

  13. jenanita01 says:

    Reblogged this on Anita Dawes & Jaye Marie and commented:
    Happy dog, happy people, can’t beat it…

    Like

  14. TanGental says:

    Sofa and beanbag management is crucial, Mylo agrees. He’d like tips because his two legges often falls asleep on the sofa and will not be woken when he wants it back. Any suggestions, Auntie Ani?

    Like

  15. Love this, Sue. Absolutely delightful. Ani is such character. The last bug-eyed picture makes me want to hug her. She’s all personality. 🙂

    Like

  16. Reblogged this on The Life & Times of Zoe the Fabulous Feline and commented:
    Ani is a very wise canine. Listen up all you in doggie-land, take a lesson from Ani and live a long and happy life, despite your two-legses!!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Sue, your Ani must be a pawful! I give her 10 stars…even if she is a canine. :::Cheshire grin::::

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Emily says:

    Ani sure is wise, Sue, and gorgeous too! # 2 really made me laugh….Ani and Zoe would get along fabulously! On another topic, I noticed that you paint too….I do as well (or try)….are any of your paintings posted on your blog? Please point me in the right direction, I’d love to see your work, if you do share them publicly.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sue Vincent says:

      I think it would be wise to retain a certain distance between Ani and Zoe… next door’s Ginger has given Ani an odd opinion of cats 😉
      I have a few very old pics on the blog in various places, some of them are here. https://scvincent.com/painting/ I used to do okay with selling them, more through luck than talent, I think. I’m acutely aware of how much I don’t know. But I still love paint.

      Like

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  20. Eliza Waters says:

    Such good advice, Ani. You are a very wise and caring dog! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Great photos. I especially like the one surrounded by tennis balls. Ani’s a cutie and clearly she’s done a good job training her two-leggeds.

    Liked by 1 person

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  23. macjam47 says:

    Ani, you are just the cutest and the smartest dog. It look like you’ve found a forever friend in Nick.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I couldn’t agree, anymore, Ani. I should also add that it’s important to let your two-legs know when it’s time to go out for a walk by barking and occasionally jumping up at the keyboard and hitting those key things with one’s paws. It always works for me.
    Lots lof love,
    Toby
    xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sue Vincent says:

      My legs are a touch longer than yours, Toby. And I’m probably a fair bit heavier. She’s only small… so both paws hooked on her right arm and heave… she has little choice 😉
      Much love, Ani xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  25. adeleulnais says:

    Hi Ani, Dante here. I loved your writings, I do most of the things well but I always spoil the surprise of visitors by getting too excited and letting everyone know before the door goes. I will try and get better at that one. Much paw love, Dante.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. socialbridge says:

    Ani, your tips are totally on the ball. Love #6 especially. Stanny.

    Like

  27. Lol! Really Ani? 😉 And to think I’ve just finished a diploma course in Dog Behaviour Training…they got it so wrong!!! What am I going to tell them when I send it in for marking? They are hopelessly inaccurate!!!

    Like

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  29. Mom’s in the bathroom, so I sneaked over to your post (she’s still logged in, but this is from me – Tink). Thanks for leaving a message on my post — it was my very first one.

    These are GREAT tips! I think the most important is #8 – if it weren’t for me, I think Mom would sit and stare at that box with the pictures all the time. I get her out walking – and make her play Frisbee as soon after she wakes up as I can manage. I can wake up from a full-on sleep in the wag of a tail, but she takes practically forever. Those cups of coffee seem to help.

    I’m big on chicken and cheese too . And I LOVE crunchy sweet potatoes. For some reason Mom isn’t as stingy with those as with other treats. Anyway, it’s GREAT to meet a new member of the tribe.

    Woof! TinkerToy

    Like

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