The accountant

He had kept his secrets. He had thought he was safe… He was doing so well. Doing alright anyway. Now, he was not so sure. It was all gone. He has nothing… is nothing. Nowhere to go… nowhere to be.

Except here.

There is no escaping Review. He had done his best to prepare, fearing what was to come. At close of day, he had gone over everything. Every day. For years. Tracing the threads back to their beginning. What had been right and what wrong? Except, it wasn’t that easy, was it? Understanding…first principles, it seemed, mattered more than tangible results.

The dark tunnel is daunting, closing around him, a steely wormhole drawing him towards a distant point of light. There should be fear. The thought flits across consciousness… is considered dispassionately and discarded. He has gone too far for fear. He moves onward, surrendering reluctance to inevitability. He is not the only one to have felt like this. No-one escapes Review… not here. Not now. The Records wait.

Light bleaches all detail, there is nothing, no-one… only images, flickering pages of a Book, replayed with perfect clarity. No human emotion to cloud Review, no room for excuses… no one to hear them. Fast forward, but he recognises the scenes as they fly past. Right from the start. Slowing now and then to linger on the details… on the cause of error, the root of misunderstanding Lingering too, with perfect justice, on each true success, each genuine effort. Consciousness flayed with Truth. No place for illusion. Beginning to end, with nowhere to hide. No mercy. Only excoriating clarity.

Only a balancing of the books. How appropriate. He wondered if he could still smile…

Where would he go from here? Back to complete his training? Or forward into the unknown? He stands on the brink of time. It is time. That’s the thing about Review… The new-born soul closes the Book of his life … life over… and now he must judge himself.

Image from Light Bliss

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.
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28 Responses to The accountant

  1. davidprosser says:

    Very very clever Sue.Almost Buddhistic. I like the idea of self judgement to decide whether you need to come back to learn a bit more.At first I thought it was going to be a mob related story with maybe someone developing a conscience.
    xxx Huge Hugs xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Sue Vincent says:

      Thanks, David. I’ve always felt that we are our own judge and jury… our higher self knows what is in our mind and heart when we act… what our true motives are…there really is nowhere to hide from our Selves. xxxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Reblogged this on Barrow Blogs: and commented:
    One to think about

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Quite daunting isn’t it, Sue? We are all on our own in our heads. We are the only ones who really know ‘us’

    Liked by 1 person

  4. stevetanham says:

    Reblogged this on stevetanham and commented:
    One of Sue’s casual introductions to a so-deep meaning . . .

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Don’t talk to me about wormholes…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. jenanita01 says:

    Lovely post, Sue… Sometimes I think I am nearly approaching my own review… but all I can hope for, is that always trying my best will be good enough…

    Like

    • Sue Vincent says:

      I relly do think that matters more than any percieved results, you know. The Egyptians weighed the heart against the feather of Truth… not the mind or the mistakes. Just the heart.

      Like

  7. I love this,Sue. Brilliant. ☺

    Like

  8. Noah Weiss says:

    Fascinating. The “taking account of one’s life” is going to become salient to me in the next few weeks as the High Holidays approach.

    Like

  9. Great post. I thought that’s where you were headed…amazing tension sweeping the reader forward. I love the notion of self being the ultimate judge at the end. A good thing to think about while careening through life.

    Like

  10. Éilis Niamh says:

    I wonder about that, what it will be like to look back at life and understand it all. I still struggle to understand truth without judgment, so the concept sometimes feels daunting. Beautifully told story, Sue. Perhaps the more you truly all out live, the less you’ll regret, or dread revisiting. I often feel like if someone’s biggest errors occur as a result of turning life into an adventure, at least you could relive the excitement all over again and you wouldn’t think small thoughts about great things. Having a child for instance, everyone messes that up more than get it right, but you’re playing with the four elements and then some watching a very little one grow, you yourself not being so far ahead in the grand skeem of things when it comes to knowing the world. So it’s an adventure, and the very definition of that seems to be that things go wrong, otherwise, it would be too boring to look back over when you’re done. Maybe once you’re looking back you just think, oh good, these were such awesome mistakes, now my life is interesting. 🙂

    Like

    • Sue Vincent says:

      I doubt the higher self sees it quite that way… our human experiences, in and of themselves, matter little, I feel, when compared to the essence of them… what we took to them, what we tried to do and why… really why, not the comfortable lies we tell ourselves… and what we learned. What we gave, from the heart, not its own need. Our view may be too narrow and all too human while we are here. 🙂

      Like

  11. kirizar says:

    Loved this. It is a very disturbing sort of prose. Especially liked the line: “He has gone too far for fear.”

    Like

  12. Darcy says:

    And when one is harder on oneself than anyone else could be….? not a comfortable post in the slightest…

    Like

  13. In the final analysis, we are probably all our most unforgiving critics. Well, most of us, anyway.

    Like

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