Notes from a small dog LVII

trial 022She says I snore. In fact, she woke me up from a really good dream of chasing stuff by laughing at my snoring… or so she says. Now, if I do, I’ve never heard it… which is more than I can say for her. She snores sometimes. And sometimes she sounds like a hamster. Don’t ask me why. I’ve never met a hamster, but it sounds about right. Mind, don’t tell her I said that… last time we Had Words about the hamster pictures… She wasn’t pleased…

She says I smell too. Well, of course I do. I’m a dog… we are much better at smelling that you two-legses! Not that I think for a moment she meant it as a compliment. What does she want? I had a mud bath earlier! And she’s already made me have a few baths this year! Like, more than one… which is one too many in my opinion…

No, I know what she wants…and if she thinks she’s getting me in that tub again, she’s got another think coming. I know her little game.

It used to be pretty easy for her. I’d always follow her upstairs… not usually allowed, so soon as I get a chance I’ll go and check around up there. I made the mistake of investigating the bathtub when she was filling it one day… Bad move. Ten minutes later I’m dripping and smelling of flowers! Well, that wasn’t happening again, so I got a bit cautious. She’s conned me with the leash, lured me with chicken and tennis balls and even pretended the bath was for her… and I fell for it every time.

This grooming lark… I can roll in the mud for a mud -pack, grass for deodorant and a really good scratch does my fur. What’s with all this smelly stuff and the brushes?

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Thing is, I’m a dog. This two-legged sneakiness? It doesn’t resonate with us. We are loyal.. caring… open with what we are doing. We love you. We trust you…so we fall for it. ‘Specially when you lull us into a false sense of security and bribe us with chicken… “It’ll do you good,” she says. Yeah, right. And pigeons might chase tennis balls.

I do sort of get my own back sometimes… she’s had to get in the bath with me more than once… and always ends up soaked anyway. Last time she had to carry me upstairs… if you go all floppy it’s like you’ve glued yourself to the floor 🙂

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So tonight I was relieved to see it was her bath she was running. I waited till she was wallowing and all soapy before I crept upstairs…I like to guard the door for her. And she’s talking to me all nice and friendly while she scrubs away, all about walks and birds ‘n stuff. Then, “Do you want a bath, Ani?” she says…!

Well! I shot her The Look and was down the stairs like a flash. I managed to squeeze right under her little chair in the corner and hid behind the curtain. I could hear he laughing up there, calling my name…It took all my strength to resist. She tired the Nice Voice, the soft, Squidgy Voice… even the Commanding Voice…But I was staying put. Not coming out.

And all I got from upstairs was… laughter.

Trouble is, I may have won that round… but if she thinks I need another bath this year, I’m going to have to tread careful…

You’ve got to watch her, you know.trial 018

Maybe she’ll let me off if I jump in the pond later?

Worth a try…

Much love,

Ani xxx

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.
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47 Responses to Notes from a small dog LVII

  1. Dale says:

    Oh you are so mean to poor Ani! 😉 Zeke is not too fond of baths either. He thinks he gets clean by wading in the river (or should I say creek?)

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  2. reocochran says:

    So funny and I do wonder what dog’s thoughts are!

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  3. Oh those innocent eyes! My dogs hate baths too. it’s always a struggle. They run upstairs and jump in our bed – soaking wet.

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  4. BarbaraK aka fiddlbarb says:

    Absolutely precious! A treat to read tonight.

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  5. barbtaub says:

    Peri says,”I know what you mean,Ani! Yesterday we went to the beach. I fetched my ball out of the waves about a million times and then I had a nice sand wallow. And then came the best part–something that smelled AMAZING had washed up on the beach and I rolled thoroughly in it. Best day ever until we got home. I never saw that bath coming… Humans just do not get it.”

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    • Sue Vincent says:

      Morning, Peri! That’s just it, isn’t it? We ought to try and teach them about rolling in stuff. I mean, I’d know just what to read about your day if I had a sniff! Sort of like blogging for dogs 🙂
      Much love, Ani xxx

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  6. Mél@nie says:

    sooo precious… ❤

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  7. TanGental says:

    Hi Ani, I’m Mylo. My two legses have the same daft ideas. I mean I chase the ball because they throw it. If they throw it into a muddy field, well durrh? I get muddy and then it’s ‘bath time Mylo’. No way. Now Ani, has she ever you tried a shower? I was pretty cautious, you know because there were those same weird not-really-flowers smells there but he took this hose thing off the wall – dog, was I cautious? I mean, I’ve had the outside hose and it’s got a kick like a mule and cold? Don’t tell me cold, like high pressure snow. But first time, you trust them, right? If they’re holding chicken, too. So I walked in and while I ate he sprayed this warm water everywhere, and I mean everywhere. Even where the old tongue struggles to reach, know what I mean. The warmth, the gentle sprinkle like summer rain. I was fine. He gets a bit, you now, arsy if I shake before I’ve been rubbed but taking it in the round, I can do this shower thingy. Especially if there’s chicken. Mind you, now I think about it the chicken hasn’t been as regular lately. I’ll have to have a word with herself. She’s usually better with the chicken than him. Stingy old sod. High paws, lovely lady.

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    • Sue Vincent says:

      Hi Mylo! Nice to meet you 🙂 The shower thing? Don’t make me laugh… I’m not alowed to pee on the carpet 🙂 She tried that too… You know the hose thingy goes off like a snake on speed when you knock it out of their hands… you know, when you wriggle loose and they make a lunge for you, right? 😀 I don’t think she’ll be trying that one again in a hurry 🙂 Mind, the celing was nice and clean by the time she’d finished mopping up…
      Mine says she’s on a diet so I’m none too hopeful of chicken… though I keep telling her she doesn’t need to diet.. just share 😉
      Much love, Ani xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • TanGental says:

        Yes, I get that ‘shall we have something different’ nonsense and the chicken disappears and he has soup. And it’s not like they don’t have chicken still because he talks to the butcher everyday when we go past and I can see it ready for me. It’s been lovely to met you Ani. Maybe we’ll meet on a walk sometime?

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        • Sue Vincent says:

          They do have some really weird ideas, don’t they? Mind, I’m quite partial to her stew…though it can get a bit confusing when we get our visitor 😉
          It would be cool to meet up sometime 🙂
          Much love, Ani xxx

          Liked by 1 person

  8. jenanita01 says:

    Reblogged this on Anita & Jaye Dawes and commented:
    just adore this dog…

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  9. What a face. Ani is a beauty. How could you trick such a creature ?? lol. I get it. We had a golden retriever that was bath-resistant, except for during thunderstorms. Then, he’d climb in and hide behind the shower curtain. We have photo evidence. I miss that pup, gone several years now. Lovely, creative post. ☺ Van

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  10. Greg says:

    Made my morning! LOL

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  11. Look at those eyes. I’m a sucker for hang-dog, pleading eyes and I’m not even a dog person. Handsome fellow, you are, Ani. ❤ ❤ ❤

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  12. noelleg44 says:

    LOL, Sue! And to my dear Ani, you should be happy that your human gives you a bath – you could be taken to (shudder) a groomer. No laughs and loving there! Do try that pond. Swimming is fun and it would clean you up a bit!

    Like

    • Sue Vincent says:

      I like the pond… but she says it’s muddy and smelly and full of weedy stuff and tries to bath me after! She doesn’t mind me swimming… but I like *that* pond 🙂
      Thanks for the warning ’bout groomers, though! I’ll make sure I remember that word!
      Much love, Ani xxx

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  13. This is brilliant and those pictures and Ani are gorgeous!

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  14. Oh those liquid eyes….. irresistible! I love the way she tries to hide from having a bath!

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  15. Ali Isaac says:

    Very funny! Lovely pics, Sue, she’s a gorgeous little thing and full of character from the sound of it!

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  16. Eliza Waters says:

    You’re a clever one, Ani. As sweet as you look, you must understand that we two-leggeds have a tough time with that doggy smell. But keep hiding and making her laugh. It’s good for her! 🙂

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  17. Ani! don’t be silly! You know you won’t get away with jumping in the pond! lol 😉

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  18. Pingback: Pet of the week – Author and blogger Ani and her muse and mentor Sue Vincent. | Smorgasbord – Variety is the spice of life

  19. Adele Marie says:

    Baths, showers, brrrrr. What is it about them that two leggeds try to force us into. Okay I admit the one time I rolled in fox poo and they were doing a funny coughing sound I knew I had to have the wash but other times??????I’ve got wise too, no bath for me. Much paw love, Dante Dog. xxxxx

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  20. Michael loves this post, Ani. He also doesn’t like having a bath and, particularly, washing his hair. I had to dunk him under the water and forcefully wash his hair today.

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