Notes from a small dog XLVII

balls 014She says it is nearly Halloween so I have to tell you a horror story. So I will.

Wait for it…

I’m on short rations.

That bad enough for you? Make your toes curl? Shudder?

No, not food… we all know I eat better than she does… and most of what she does too…

It’s worse than that. Much worse.

She’s been counting. I mean, really… do you need to count to more than three? That’s about all I need … three treats is the most I’m allowed… so one – two – three – lots (which usually means she left the bag in my reach…).Works perfectly. Much simpler than what she was doing.

How mean can you get? “One – two….. hundred and ninety nine…that’s your lot. No more now, I’m busy.”

Busy? More tapping away on the ‘puter thing again, no doubt.

There’s me, only trying to help… working my paws to the bone…making her laugh and get some much needed exercise … busy? Hrmph.

Note from the small dog… you can’t count how many times you throw the ball. It isn’t fair. It is supposed to be a spontaneous joy… not a one, two, three affair. Frankly, I’m disappointed in her.

balls 002She was just curious at how many times I’d make her throw it, she said. Make her?… Let her, I told her… its s’posed to be a treat for her! And she thinks it’s supposed to be finite? In an infinite universe, there are an infinite number of tennis balls, I informed her, all of which owe their existence to the need to be thrown and retrieved. To cease throwing them is to deny their very reason for being. Is she going to start counting flowers next? Limiting the number of stars in the sky in case they sparkle too much?

She just doesn’t get it.

D&T 037Nothing, I told her, exists without a reason and a purpose. And all such porpoises purposes are inextricably interlinked. She said there was something fishy about my logic. Part of her reason for being, I told her, was unquestionably to throw tennis balls. Otherwise she wouldn’t have a dog and I wouldn’t have her as my two-legs. Symbiosis, I told her.

She asked me if I’d eaten the dictionary. Which is really insulting… I haven’t eaten a book since I was a pup!

Then she accused me of sophistry… yeah right, who’s been nibbling the pages now then?

So I got bored. She wants to talk sophistry we’ll see how she likes it when she finds what’s buried under her sofa cushions. Pig’s ears are great when they’ve matured in a flower bed for a month or two…balls 003

Must go, she’s on the phone so I need to distract her…

Much love, Ani xxx

About Sue Vincent

Sue Vincent is a Yorkshire-born writer and one of the Directors of The Silent Eye, a modern Mystery School. She writes alone and with Stuart France, exploring ancient myths, the mysterious landscape of Albion and the inner journey of the soul. Find out more at France and Vincent. She is owned by a small dog who also blogs. Follow her at scvincent.com and on Twitter @SCVincent. Find her books on Goodreads and follow her on Amazon worldwide to find out about new releases and offers. Email: findme@scvincent.com.
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25 Responses to Notes from a small dog XLVII

  1. That poor little doggy. How can you treat her so cruelly? I can see she is distraught!

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  2. Oh she lives such a hard tough life, just like my English Setter.

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  3. Ani … I cringed in terror under the covers as I read your horror story. Frightful! (But, I do know how lucky you are as Sue indulges many of your whims.) 😉

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    • Sue Vincent says:

      Judy, she is being so uncooperative today… I’ve only had one walk so far and will she share that bit of ham? No… all she says is it isnt dinner time yet… Most unfair… 😉
      Much love, Ani xxx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Ani … I think you’ve been talking to our two cats. They get dinner in two parts: soft food. Then about 30 minutes later: crunchy food. Most normal animals, I think – except for Garfield the cat – would be full. But, no, they look up at us and meow expectantly … hoping we’ll forget they were just fed.

        Good luck on getting some of that ham. 😉

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  4. Oh, Ani, you have my sympathies. You are so irrestible, how can you not work your magic!! Much love, Ellen

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  5. Eliza Waters says:

    Two-leggeds can be so tough to live with, Ani. They hardly ever appreciate all the effort it takes to do your job. 😉

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  6. Well Ani! You’re logic is impeccable and your philosophy on the meaning of life is deep….and wise…lol and fundamentally fascinating! “She” just needs a little bit of time and a nice lie down lol to come to an understanding of these deep and meaningful meanings of life especially that of tennis balls! Don’t worry…4 legs also means 4x the brain power so 2 legs are at a serious disadvantage lol 😉 Why else do you think they choose dogs as their beloved companions….and tennis balls!!!

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  7. Sue Vincent says:

    Well, some of them get it, you know… One of them … the ball guy…even wrote about it in their book, Giants Dance 🙂

    “I’ve just worked out the game of ‘fetch’.”
    “Oh, really?”
    “Yes really, the Ball of Power is… Love. And no matter how hard you try to get rid of it. It just keeps coming back to you.”
    The Ball of Power flies through the air. Quick as lightning Anu leaps skyward, catches it in his jaws, lands with a thud and proudly trots back to me to again lay it at my feet.
    “You’re a clever Bird-Dog, Anu, aren’t you boy?”

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